Everything Will Change
by pl2363
Summary: Soundwave has done what he has to in order to survive in a warrior's world, while Blaster wonders if he'll ever find love. Things start to change for each of them the more time they start to spend together. *slash*
1. Intersecting Lines

Title: Everything Will Change: Intersecting Lines

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

Notes: Soundwave has done what he has to in order to survive in a warrior's world, while Blaster wonders if he'll ever find love. Circumstances soon alter their perceptions of the world and what they expect from life.

_This story was inspired by several fics. The one influencing the start of this story is 'Imperium in Imperio' by Mirage Shinkiro. I will list other fics as the chapters move forward._

Warnings: I have taken some liberty with the personalities of each main character to add drama and emotional depth the story as well as created my own reasoning behind the cassettes and how they are created and grow, which is not at all cannon.

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

Title taken from the song "Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service.

* * *

Early War, Cybertron:

_The buildings in the area had been reduced to nothing more than smoking piles of rubble. Large pieces of twisted metal dotted the landscape, jutting upward as if reaching toward the sky. Soundwave silently picked his way through the tattered-looking scene, scanning for life. The battle between the Decepticons and council's forces had moved toward this small town, obliterating it. After the Decepticons won the battle and pushed back the council's forces he had been dispatched, along with a few others, to explore their newly claimed area and look for any survivors. _

_No matter how many times Soundwave walked a scene like this, he never got used to it. He knew his unease with the panorama before him stemmed from surviving a similar situation himself. Images of his creators' limp and broken frames flashed across his processor, causing him to pause mid-step. Memories of holding the lifeless hand of his one father as Soundwave lay pinned under a piece of heavy roofing from their destroyed home flashed through his mind. That hand had been so cold to the touch. He rubbed his own hands together as he tried to escape his painful memory. Just then, an energy signal pinged back at him. _

_Soundwave looked out over the destroyed landscape, scanning to locate the energy signal. Using his specialized visor, he flipped between different types of light and heat readings until he spotted two small outlined forms about 50 meters away. He carefully made his way toward them._

_Drawing near, a small wave of concern hit him as he realized these forms were about the size of sparklings. Megatron always sent sparklings to a special training camp in order to raise them as more warriors for his army. Soundwave didn't really agree with the practice, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. Megatron did as he pleased, and those that opposed him were often slagged for their efforts. Soundwave learned that lesson well by watching Starscream cross the line, and knew he'd be best served by remaining on their faction leader's "good" side. _

_As he reached the area where the two survivors were, one of the two readings seemed to flee. He knelt down and lifted up a piece of a broken table that covered the non-moving signal, revealing a small black and red colored __cassette__ beneath. His spark lurched in his chest at the discovery. Another dual-pulse sparked mech had lived here?_

_Dual-pulse sparked mechs were very rare, created by accident when creators spark merged while one was already sparked. The results could go one of two ways: twining or a dual-pulse. Soundwave had been the secondary. In a sense, he had two separate sparks that had fused and were now pulsing as one in his chest. Once a dual-sparked mech reached adulthood those two energy signals pushed against one another eventually creating a budded sparklet from the opposing friction. Due to his young age, Soundwave had only created one before the war stole his family from him. _

_Soundwave stared down at the unconscious cassette that had been sparked by a mech just like him. A fully formed mini-mech meant that his creator had been much older, since sparklets created at later stages in life tended to be more complex. Soundwave shifted his view up and scanned, looking for the body of mech that had created this small being. Nothing registered. He had always felt alone in the world. Isolated by his condition. He glanced back at the small cassette, then carefully reached down and ran his fingers over the tiny chest. He identified several areas of damage over the small frame, none of which were life threatening. Such an advanced creation struck Soundwave with a sense of awe. Would he one day be able to make one like this? What kind of life would this cassette have now that his creator was most likely deceased? And what was the second signal he had picked up? Another cassette, perhaps?_

"_Get away from my brother!" The second survivor slammed a piece of piping into Soundwave's head, knocking him sideways. He managed to maintain his balance in his crouched position, though. He turned his attention to a second cassette, locking gazes with the small mech's fiercely glowing red optics. "I said, get away from him!" the cassette yelled as he swung again at Soundwave. His hand flew up, catching the pipe before it slammed into his head again. _

"_Is your creator deceased?" he said in his monotone voice. Internally he winced, hating how he sounded when he spoke. He had barely survived the bombing of his hometown, and among the many scars he bore from his near death was his voice regulator, which had been half-crushed when the house he grew up in collapsed over him. The Decepticon medics managed to restore his ability to speak, but his voice had been forever altered as a result._

"_Yeah he's slaggin' dead!" The small mech struggled with the pipe, trying to gain control over it again. "They're all dead! 'Cept me and my brother. Now get away from him you giant fragger!"_

_Soundwave rocked back on his heels and pushed to stand, while still gripping the end of pipe. "Ravage: eject." His chest plate opened and his one creation popped out of a specialized subspace pocket, transforming mid-air and landing at his feet. _

_Stilling, the small mech stared at Ravage with wide optics. "Y-you-you're-" he stuttered. "-just like our creator…" _

_Ravage tentatively moved closer to the small cassette, bowing his head. _

"_What is your designation?" Soundwave asked._

"_I'm Rumble, that's my brother, Frenzy." Rumble's grip on the pipe loosened. "This the only one ya got?" Soundwave's attempt to distract had worked. _

"_Yes." Soundwave stooped down and scooped up the unconscious cassette, cradling him in one arm. _

"_Hey! What do ya think yer doin'! That's my brother!" Rumble let go of the pipe, choosing to pound Soundwave's legs with his fists instead. Ravage bumped his nose into Rumble's side, trying to push him away from Soundwave._

"_Please come with me." Soundwave ignored Rumble's beating fists and started back towards the encampment. _

"_Wait a second! Come back here!" Rumble shouted as he followed. "I want my brother! Give him back!" Desperation and fear bled into the small cassette's voice. _

_Soundwave stopped walking and gazed down at Rumble. Sadness tugged at his spark as he stared at the small mech. Rumble's optics were surging brightly, his forehead crinkled and his mouth pulled down into a deep frown. Soundwave saw all the anger, fear and loss this poor little mech was carrying all on his own. To lose everything all at once was an agonizing experience Soundwave could certainly relate to. _

_He knelt down so he was optic-level with Rumble. "Situation is dire. Please, come with me."_

_Rumble's optics looked glassy as he seemed to fight back tears. "You gonna kill us?"_

_Shaking his head, Soundwave carefully wrapped an arm around Rumble's small frame and shifted to stand, holding Rumble against his side. "Repairs will be made."_

"_So…wait. You're gonna keep us?" Rumble frowned._

"_Choice to stay with me is up to you." In truth, Soundwave would be more than happy to adopt them as his own. They were a rarity among a rare class of mechs, being highly complex mini-mechs. But he also knew that meant they'd have to accept living in close contact with a mech they didn't share an energy signal with. _

"_Hmph. I dunno." Rumble fingered his brother's foot just within his reach. _

_They walked the rest of the way back to the encampment in silence, with Ravage trotting along beside them. _

_Glancing at the small purple cassette he held, Soundwave couldn't help but hope they chose to stay with him. His existence within the Decepticon ranks was a lonely one. His sheltered upbringing left him at a disadvantage when it came to socializing and more often than not he was treated like some sort of freak because of his spark condition. Interacting with his fellow officers was a highly stressful activity he preferred to avoid whenever possible. All he had was Ravage to keep him company, so the prospect of two more to also spend his time with greatly appealed to him. _

…

Earth, in the present:

"You fragger!" Rumble rocked to one side with the video game controller in his hands.

Soundwave had salvaged a human gaming console from a refuse dump and repaired it for Rumble and Frenzy to use. They were seated on the floor of his quarters, playing a racing game, deeply engaged in their heated competition.

"Oh, no way! You're gonna pay for that!" Frenzy threatened as he too rocked back and forth with the controller, as if the motion might aid his virtual vehicle.

"No no no no!" Rumble yelled.

"Ha, Ha! You crashed!"

Sitting on the berth with his back propped against the wall, Soundwave watched them in silence. Despite the fact he was never really alone, he still felt quite isolated. Having Rumble and Frenzy along with Ravage and Laserbeak did help him cope with his overwhelming loneliness, but he still felt an odd yearning for something more. It was a desire he couldn't even properly describe. He despised everyone around him and he certainly wasn't the outgoing social type, so he couldn't understand why he still felt so empty when he had constant companions.

"Hey, you on second shift today?" Frenzy asked as he half turned to look at Soundwave.

"Yes," he replied.

Rumble paused the game just as his virtual vehicle crested in a mid-air jump. "We goin' with you?"

"Not necessary." Soundwave slid off the berth and stood.

"So, we can stay and play then?" Frenzy asked, his voice hopeful.

Soundwave nodded.

"Frag yeah!" Rumble unpaused the game and the two were immediately reabsorbed into playing, barely acknowledging Soundwave as he left the room.

He quietly traversed the hallways of the _Nemesis_, heading toward the main communications room. Dirge and Thrust were chatting in the hallway just outside the doorway to Soundwave's destination. Both hushed up the moment they saw him and walked off without saying a word to him. Staring down the hallway at their retreating forms, he frowned behind his mask. He didn't want to be friends with such lowlife mechs, but at the same time he couldn't deny it hurt to always be shunned in such a manner. Shrugging it off, he headed into the communications room and settled in for his shift.

Less than a breem later, music of an electronic genre softly played, echoing off the metallic walls of the comm. room. Soundwave had plugged into the mainframe via a wire from his wrist to directly work with the downloaded communications and signal files. When he finished with the first set of files and found nothing significant regarding Autobot activity, he decided to take a break and open up the Decepticon comm. link lines to listen in on what his fellow officers often assumed were private conversations.

Pieces of conversations echoed inside his processor as he listened.

"No fragging way! That's got to be a mod of some kind…"

"…I can't stand that aftwipe, Starscream. Blah blah, I'm the next leader, blah! What a moron! Ha, ha, ha! …"

"… lick every inch of your wings, then …"

Soundwave sighed air from his vents. The conversations were always the same. All Decepticons ever seemed to think about was war or fragging. It both intrigued and irritated him that they all seemed so simplistic. He found their lack of overall foresight and attention to detail often contributed the blunders that had prevented them from completely dominating the Autobots. The only one that ever attempted to properly think things through and act accordingly was Starscream. Unfortunately, he was so abrasive in his approach that he usually went unheard or was dismissed entirely. Soundwave knew better than to try and change the situation by force. Instead, he observed and made calculated moves when it was necessary. His overall objective had nothing to do with winning the war for the Decepticon cause, though. His goal in this war was to _survive_ it.

Heavy footsteps sounded down the hallway outside the communications room. The steady and stiff gait was one Soundwave had committed to memory. It belonged to Megatron. He quickly cut the sound to his music and turned off his connection to the Decepticon comm. lines. Straightening his posture, he stared at the screen in front of him, which was playing several different video feeds at once.

The sound of his leader's footfall stopped at the doorway, and Soundwave glanced over, offering a nod of recognition.

"Soundwave, I need you to send Laserbeak out to scout a missile silo for me." Megatron waltzed into the room as he spoke.

"As you command." Soundwave leaned back in his seat, and ejected Laserbeak. He hated using his cassettes as tools for war, but made sure he upgraded both Ravage and Laserbeak with weapons they could use to protect themselves with. He had also been the one to add the pile drivers to both Rumble and Frenzy's arms.

Laserbeak circled the room then landed on Soundwave's shoulder. Megatron walked over and took hold of Laserbeak's head between his forefinger and thumb. "My little bird of prey, I need you to go to the missile silo out in the Mohave Desert and record how many humans maintain the facility."

Laserbeak squawked, then took off, flying out of the room and presumably toward his assigned destination.

"As usual, you and your 'pets' prove to be loyal and quite useful." Megatron rested a hand on Soundwave's shoulder and squeezed. It took all of Soundwave's energy not to shy away from the touch. He absolutely hated anyone touching his plating other than his cassettes, but knew better than to show his distaste for the physical gesture.

"I live to serve you, Lord Megatron," Soundwave replied obediently.

"Of course you do." Megatron spun on his heels and walked to the doorway where he paused to look back at Soundwave. "I expect a full report when Laserbeak returns."

Soundwave nodded.

The moment Megatron's footsteps faded away, Soundwave accessed his feed to Laserbeak's camera, posting it on the monitor. With his own creations he had a weak bond that he could use communicate basic emotions or feelings. Over his connection to Laserbeak, he made it clear he wanted him to proceed with caution. For the next two Earth hours he ignored the rest of his shift duties, focusing solely on his creation's trip and mission. Soundwave would only be happy once Laserbeak was back and safely stored in his chest.

Once all the intel was gathered, Laserbeak started his journey back to base, only to suddenly fly off course and land in a tall tree. Soundwave sent his concern to his cassette, wanting to know why he had veered off course. The video feed zoomed in on an outdoor concert, and he could faintly hear a human band playing on the distant stage. Laserbeak apparently wanted to share something he knew Soundwave liked. Then the camera whipped around and zoomed in on a parking lot beside the concert area. Soundwave furrowed his brow behind his visor as the camera focused on two Autobots. Worried, Soundwave decided to use his comm. link. "Laserbeak, return," he commanded.

Defying his order, Laserbeak's camera tightly focused on one of the two Autobots, the one called Blaster. Soundwave's spark contracted in its chamber and ached a little. The only other dual-pulse mech he had ever encountered was an enemy to his faction. He had always wanted to meet another mech like himself, but circumstances being what they were, meeting Blaster was not a possibility. He often wondered what it might be like to talk to someone that shared his condition. He was also curious if other dual-pulse mechs felt just as isolated and alone despite the fact they had constant companions, or if he was he just a product of his parents' overprotective behavior.

He silently stared at the screen, watching Blaster as he rocked where he sat in time with the music and laughed and joked with his companion. A feeling of envy crept in. Blaster looked so at ease. He seemed to be having so much fun. Soundwave never really enjoyed himself like that. He wasn't even sure he was capable of behaving in such a calm, fun-loving way.

Finally breaking his view away from the screen, he stared down at his own hands that were clutching the edge of the computer console. He messaged Laserbeak over the comm. line again. "Laserbeak, _return_."

Reluctance pushed back at him through their thin bond, then resignation. He looked back up to see Laserbeak had taken to the sky again, and he softly exhaled air from his vents as a wave of relief washed through him. The last thing he needed was to lose one of his precious creations to the Autobots.

They were all he had in this world.

…

"Hey come back here, you!" Blaster nabbed Eject just before he went running out of the wash rack stall still covered in suds from the cleanser. None of his creations had gotten a good scrub down in a few Earth weeks, so as soon as Blaster got off his shift for the day he asked Jazz to come help wrangle them in the wash racks.

Jazz started laughing. "Man, they're all hyped up!"

Blaster carted Eject back into the stall and held him under the spray of water. "I know, I don't let them outside my quarters much. They get all excited when I take them out."

"You should let 'em out more," Jazz said as he carefully sponged down Ramhorn.

Blaster couldn't hold back his frown at Jazz's suggestion. He didn't like letting them out around everyone else. A lifetime of having negative reactions heaped on him about his odd spark and ability to create life had left deep scars. By hiding them away most of the time, he was able to fit in easier and socialize while also keeping them safe from ridicule. Jazz was one of the only mechs Blaster even trusted enough to let his cassettes out around. He was also one of few mechs that hadn't recoiled or asked embarrassing questions upon meeting his creations the first time.

Rewind picked up a sponge off the floor of the stall and started to rub it on Steeljaw's side. "Rewind, he's already cleaned up. You don't need to do that." Blaster set Eject down to reach over to take the sponge away from Rewind. His mini-mechs were a lot like young sparklings. They didn't speak more than a few words and they were very playful and curious.

"All righty, Ram. Let's get ya rinsed off." Jazz grinned as he led Ramhorn over to the sprayer to rinse him off.

It warmed Blaster's spark to see Jazz helping to take care of his small collection of creations. He actually had a long-standing crush on Jazz, but no matter how much time they spent together it never moved beyond a friendship. Finding love as a dual-pulse spark wasn't an easy task. Blaster had been told since he was small that would never be able to bond. His spark's energy was too strong and could extinguish another normal spark. Still, he hoped he might find someone to be his companion and lover, someone who would be willing to accept him as he was. Jazz had great potential as a perfect match. They had similar interests and could spend hours together without ever getting annoyed at one another. If only he was better at flirting, then maybe Jazz would see him as more than a friend.

Eject suddenly made a break for it, laughing as he ran out of the stall again. "Eject!" Blaster hopped up and chased him out into the main area of the wash racks. He glanced around, but didn't see the small escapee anywhere. "Eject! Get back here!" He made his way down the row of stalls checking each one, but Eject was nowhere to be seen.

"This yours?"

Blaster spun around to see Ironhide, partly covered in suds, holding Eject's arm. "Oh, sorry 'bout that. He got away from me." He scooped up Eject, holding him to his chest as he offered the elder warrior a sheepish smile.

"You need a leash for those _things_," Ironhide replied as he returned his own stall.

_Things_. Blaster hated when his creations were called 'things'. They were sentient beings just like the rest of them. They just lacked full spark coding and would never 'mature'. He glanced at Eject whose frown indicated that his happy mood had evaporated. "You're not a thing, and I love ya," Blaster said in a low voice, nuzzling Eject's helm as he walked back toward the others. Eject rested his head on Blaster's shoulder and grew still. Through their thin spark connection, Blaster could feel his small creation's sadness. It angered him how Ironhide's thoughtless words could harm them. It really was better for them to remain hidden away, safe from hurtful words or dangerous situations.

Stepping back into the stall he found Jazz drying off Steeljaw while Rewind tried to do the same to Ramhorn. Being small, though, Rewind kept tripping on the oversized drying cloth.

"Slag, they are cute," Jazz said as he finished up Steeljaw and turned to help Rewind.

Blaster looked at Eject who was watching his brothers. "Let's get you dried off, too." Eject gazed back at Blaster and then nodded, a small smile returning to his face.

As soon as everyone was cleaned up and dried off, Blaster stood up and smiled down at them. "All right, back ya go." His chest plate opened, revealing his specialized sub-space pocket. Each transformed and returned to him. "Thanks for helping me out," he said as he met Jazz's visored gaze once they were all safely stowed away.

"Anytime, man!" Jazz gently play punched Blaster's arm.

"We goin' to see Combustible Edison play in the park tomorrow night?" Blaster asked as they walked out of the wash rack area together.

Jazz slapped his hand to his forehead. "Slaggit! That's tomorrow? I totally forgot! And I went an' made plans with Prowler."

"Oh." That's right, _Prowl _was Jazz's best friend. Blaster knew there was no competing for Jazz's attention when Prowl was involved. The two had been best friends going back hundreds of stellar cycles, and Jazz always put Prowl first. Blaster had only known Jazz a fraction of that amount of time, which seemed to relegate him to second.

"Aww, man, I'm sorry. Look, lemmie see if Tracks'll give ya a ride out, 'kay? I don't want ya to miss the concert just 'cause of me." Jazz looked extremely apologetic, but it didn't lessen the sting of being essentially ditched.

"Yeah, okay." Blaster forced a smile.

It hurt to be second, but Blaster hid it as best as he could, smiling and acting as if it didn't bother him at all. They talked about music and other upcoming concerts they could go see together as they walked back towards the barracks. It was a masquerade Blaster was extremely adept at, pretending everything was fine while inside crumbling to pieces.

"Well, I think I am gonna turn in for the night. Catch you later, Jazz." Blaster said in a completely faked cheerful-sounding tone.

Jazz half-smiled at Blaster. "Yeah, I've got early shift. Guess I should do the same. See ya tomorrow!"

They parted ways, each heading towards their own quarters.

As the door to Blaster's quarters clicked shut with him inside, he immediately deflated, sinking to sit on his berth. He placed a hand to his chest, feeling the comforting thrum of his cassettes within. Tears of coolant pooled on his optics as he allowed the feelings he held back in Jazz's presence flow through him. On the surface Blaster had it all: great friends and a job he was really good at. But he yearned for more than that. He wanted to find someone he could love and who would love him and his creations. If not Jazz, then who? He shook his head, trying to defy his own thoughts. _It has to be Jazz_, he mentally insisted.

Lying back on his berth he stared up at the orange-tinted ceiling, feeling that hollow loneliness take over. Someday Jazz would see. He just had to.

…

The early evening air felt crisp, chilling Blaster's dermal plating as a light breeze brushed over his frame. Tracks dropped him off at the edge of the large county park where the concert was taking place. Blaster asked him to stick around to see the band play, but Tracks refused, explaining he had an appointment to have a hand waxing done.

Blaster meandered by himself toward the edge concert area and found an out of the way spot to sit. The grass was cool to the touch and tickled a little, invading plating seams here and there. After he settled in, he smiled and waved at the handful of people nearby, who didn't even think twice about having the Autobot in attendance. They were very trusting, all things considered. But he also called ahead to the organizers to be sure it was all right for him to come, so perhaps they already expected to see him here.

Glancing around, he noticed many of the humans were congregating in pairs. Some held hands, others stood close, and still others were standing around in half-embraces. Even organics were reminding him just how alone he was at the moment. No Jazz to sit and joke with. Not even Tracks to tease.

Pulling his legs to his chest, Blaster folded his arms over top of his knees and rested his chin on his arms. He focused on the comforting sensation of his cassettes vibrating within him. No matter how bummed out he would get about being alone, reminding himself of their presence always made him feel a little better.

The concert soon started, and Blaster happily listened to the lovely music wafting through the crisp night air. The live music was even more amazing than the studio tracks he had a copy of, and he decided to record the concert to share with Jazz later. He was soon lost in the rhythmic beats and beautiful voice of the singer, forgetting about all the things that had been bothering him. Human music was so different than Cybertronian music. Blaster adored the less rigid sounds and shifting pitches often included in human songs.

Before he knew it, the concert wrapped up, and Blaster got to his feet as he watched the band exit the stage area. He stood around for a little while, chatting with some of the nearby concertgoers about how great the band had been to hear live. Once the light conversation ended, he said his goodbyes and started back across the park to meet Tracks at the agreed upon location.

Picking his way through a small grove of trees, he suddenly had an eerie feeling that he wasn't alone. Pausing mid-step he heard the distinct crack of branches under someone's foot, but not his own. He swiveled his head around trying to pinpoint the source. In the darkness of the tree filled part of the park, Blaster spied two, small, red optics watching him. By the offset look and shape he knew immediately who had been stalking him. _Ravage._

Whipping out his weapon he pointed it at the glowing red optics. "Back off, Decepti-kitty." Fighting a cassette always bothered him. No matter how many times he came up against Soundwave's creations, he still felt a pang of guilt over possibly harming them. Still, unlike his own, Soundwave's cassettes were armed and potentially dangerous, and he couldn't let his emotions cloud his judgment in a fight.

Ravage whined, then ran off back toward the concert stage area, where several humans were still milling around. Fearing for their safety, Blaster gave chase, hoping to cut him off before he could harm anyone. Ravage made a sharp turn just before they reached the back edge of the seating and ran out from the tree line into an open area on the far side of the park where the tennis courts were.

Blaster chased him to the court area but lost sight of him in the darkness. "Hm, got away. Wonder what he was doing here alone, anyway," Blaster muttered to himself as he turned around, scanning the area for Ravage's telltale red optics. He kept his rifle raised and ready to shoot as he visually scanned for his foe.

"Fighting is unnecessary," a monotone voice said from behind where Blaster stood.

He whipped around and spotted Soundwave on the opposite side of the chain link fence that wrapped around the courts. The Decepticon stood like an unmoving pillar, his optical visor glowing deep crimson. Ravage suddenly appeared on the other side of the fencing, running toward his creator. He then jumped up and transformed, returning to Soundwave's chest.

"Hold it right there!" Blaster yelled as he took aim with his rifle.

Soundwave's visor flashed briefly then dimmed.

Blaster charged up his weapon, which made a high-pitched whirr. In his experience, crossing paths with the opposing faction _always meant _fighting, even if it happened to be another dual-pulse spark mech.

"The big guy doesn't want to pound ya, but if you don't put that fraggin' gun away we will!" Blaster then noticed both of Soundwave's mini-mechs were standing just in front of him. In the dim lighting from distant park lamps, he could make out he silhouetted outlines of their arms transformed into their signature pile drivers.

Blaster lowered his weapon, knowing he might be able to take Soundwave alone, but with his advanced mini-mechs armed and ready to go he knew he was no match. He often questioned how Soundwave could be comfortable with allowing his creations to fight. Blaster protected his cassettes and hardly ever let them out on the _Ark_, let alone in a battle. They were far too precious to him. What kind of cold-sparked mech would send his own creations into a fight, anyway?

"Rumble, Frenzy, return," Soundwave ordered.

"But he's armed! Let us protect ya!" Rumble protested.

"Yeah!" Frenzy chimed in.

"This is not the place for a battle. Return," Soundwave replied, his chest opening for them.

"You got lucky tonight, Autobrat!" Rumble said in a biting tone just before he and his brother both transformed and returned to Soundwave.

Confused, Blaster furrowed his brow at Soundwave. "Since when do Decepticons _not_ fight?"

"Decepticon objectives not relevant now. I choose not to harm another dual-pulse sparked mech." Soundwave's demeanor remained stiff.

"Oh," Blaster's own posture deflated, although he remained suspicious.

They were quite possibly the only two dual-pulse sparked mechs left now that their civil war had thinned their population. He had wondered from time to time about Soundwave and their unique shared spark condition. If the war hadn't forced them to opposing sides, would they have met one day in a friendly manner? Did they have anything in common other than their odd sparks? Considering the extensive lengths Blaster went to in order to protect his creations and Soundwave's apparent lack of care, he highly doubted they were similar at all outside their spark conditions.

Blaster frowned at Soundwave. "We're nothin' alike, you and me. We only have one thing in common. Plus, it's obvious you don't care about your creations like I do, sending them out to fight all the time."

"That assessment is incorrect." Soundwave faintly canted his head. "Fighting is Megatron's will, _not mine_. They are all I have and I do what I must to ensure their safety."

Ensure their safety? Their being armed was so they could protect themselves? Blaster wasn't sure he believed Soundwave, but a part of him wanted to. He didn't like to think any dual-pulse spark mech could be as cruel as Soundwave appeared to be. "You sayin' you have no choice?"

Soundwave nodded, then lifted up into the air, utilizing the Decepticon ability to fly. "The concert was pleasant."

Blaster was surprised by the sudden change in subject as well as the commentary. "Were you here for the concert?"

"Affirmative."

Soundwave seemed to hesitate, as if there was something more he wanted to say. Blaster furrowed his brow at his supposed enemy. Just as he was about to say something about Soundwave's paused state, the large blue mech took off into the night sky without another word.

Dumbfounded, Blaster stared up into the darkness over his head where Soundwave had disappeared, trying to figure out what the frag had just happened. Soundwave had just talked to him instead of trying to shoot him? He was here for the concert, too? He actually claimed to care about his creations? Blaster shook his head. Maybe his processor had just been scrambled or something… It seemed too weird to have really happened.

:: Blaster, _where are you?_ I thought we were meeting at the corner of Huntington and Oak. :: Tracks snide voice said over his comm. link, startling Blaster from his thoughts.

:: Oh, yeah. Sorry dude. I'm on my way. ::

Blaster replayed the interaction with Soundwave in his processor as he crossed the park to Tracks' location, trying to make sense out of it. But…it made no sense. Not unless Soundwave wasn't the mech he appeared to be when their sides fought_. I don't let on what I'm really like,_ Blaster thought. _A lonely, sad excuse for a mech that can't get up the courage to say how I feel most of the time. _Blaster frowned.

"What's with the blue look, Blaster?" Tracks asked.

Glancing up, Blaster realized he had already crossed the park and forced a smile. "Nothing. Everything's great."

Blaster decided he didn't want to tell Tracks what had happened as he transformed and took a seat inside the Corvette's leather interior. It would have sounded like he was making it up anyway. A peaceful encounter with Soundwave? Yeah, right. Even Blaster was having a hard time processing it as the truth.

Still, something about the interaction was undeniably fascinating. Soundwave had been here for the concert, not to pick a fight.

Maybe they did share more than a spark condition...maybe they had similar taste in music.

That thought caused an uneasy feeling to roll through Blaster. He didn't really want follow that line of thinking to its endpoint. It was easier to see all the Decepticons as big, dark, ugly foes, not mechs he had things in common with. Seeing Soundwave as an equal not mortal enemy would make it harder to fight him the next time they crossed paths in battle.

Mentally shaking off the whole incident, he decided to pretend it hadn't happened at all.

* * *

A/N: I will try and update weekly on this. Thanks for taking the time to read.


	2. Perpendicular Universes

Title: Everything Will Change: Perpendicular Universes

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

Notes: Soundwave has done what he has to in order to survive in a warrior's world, while Blaster wonders if he'll ever find love. A chance encounter alters their perceptions of what they expect from life.

_This story was inspired by several fics. The one influencing the start of this story is 'Imperium in Imperio' by Mirage Shinkiro. I will list other fics as the chapters move forward._

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

Title taken from the song, "Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service.

* * *

Shortly after Laserbeak's impromptu show and tell featuring Blaster, Soundwave found his thoughts swirling around his counterpart. He had never seen Blaster eject any cassettes and wondered what they were like. He also was interested to know whether or not Blaster felt lonely, too. Had the special spark condition they shared caused him similar grief? His curiosity piqued, Soundwave had spent time during his shifts searching the mainframe's database for any information regarding Blaster. He found practically nothing. Only a set of notes on a military admission record regarding his unique spark, which suggested that his talents would be best used in the communications division.

When faced with someone he didn't understand, Soundwave often focused all his energy toward learning as much he could about the unknown subject. He knew his obsessive behavior was due in part to his sheltered upbringing. As a youngling, he never attended the local schools, being taught at home by one father while the other worked. His only interactions with others were with his parents, so it was no wonder he found it so hard to form attachments now, and why he preferred to observe those that intrigued him, not interact. However, with so little to go on in Blaster's case, he knew he needed to take a more direct approach to sate his overwhelming curiosity.

Crossing paths with Blaster had not turned out the way he planned, though. Soundwave had been going to any and all concerts held near the _Ark_ in hopes of finding him. He had wanted to ask so many questions, but found instead that the war raging around them had tainted their chances for an amicable encounter. Distrust of the opposing faction had formed a high wall that he wasn't able to quickly bypass. In the end, he felt the best course of action was to leave, especially after Rumble and Frenzy had acted overzealously in their desire to protect him, transforming their arms into pile drivers and making threats without his consent.

Soundwave frowned behind his mask. He didn't know how to solve this puzzle. Normally, he would silently observe until his curiosity was satisfied, but in this case, he lacked access to the mech he wanted to figure out.

A flare of pain within his spark roused him from his deep thoughts, and in response he pressed his fingers to the center of his chest plate. Reality dialed in around him.

Rumble and Frenzy were laughing while playing a different game cartridge on their console. Soundwave glanced over at them from where he lay on his berth to see muscle-bound humanoid cartoons bouncing on their feet then whipping around and punching each other. For some reason, the two brothers found it endlessly funny, cackling loudly as they played.

The pain from his spark was sharp, and he grimaced. Another sparklet was forming, and at the moment it was sucking energy from his spark in its first small growth spurt. Rather than try and place it in a cassette frame, he knew he would have to allow this one to detach and be reabsorbed. His last creation, Laserbeak, had been removed by the hack medics Megatron had caring for the troops, and he nearly died from a gouge left behind after the removal. He'd rather endure the spark pain and depression that went with the loss of a sparklet than risk leaving those already in his care alone.

Ravage jumped up onto the berth, abandoning his seat on the floor beside Rumble, Frenzy, and Laserbeak, and sat down. He canted his head at Soundwave, and a sense of concern pushed over their thin bond. Touched by his creation's caring nature, Soundwave sent a wave of calming energy in return. Ravage shifted to lie down, resting his chin on Soundwave's chest. Even without the ability to speak, Ravage could communicate volumes. He was the only one of Soundwave's cassettes that had known his parents, the one that had been at his side the longest, and the one that seemed to know him best.

Like an inescapable loop, Soundwave's thoughts returned to Blaster, though. Staring at Ravage, he wondered what Blaster's cassettes were like. Were they anything like his? Could they sense how Blaster felt? Or were they more independent? He softly sighed air from his vents in frustration. He would not be satisfied until he had more answers and better understanding of what Blaster was truly like, or learning how being dual-pulsed had molded him.

He would simply have to try a different tactic.

…

The computer console flashed maps and video feeds from multiple locations across the globe. It was Blaster's job to monitor and report in if he saw anything suspicious. At the moment, a team of Japanese scientists were building a complex computer system, the European nations were in talks about expanding railways, and the U.S. Government was meeting with Prime, Prowl and Jazz regarding national security issues. Cameras were placed at key areas around each locale, which were playing their feeds across the console monitor.

Blaster, however, wasn't even looking at the screen. He was staring off into nothingness as he thought about, of all things, Soundwave. He hadn't told anyone about the encounter an Earth week prior. Not even Jazz.

The harder he tried to forget about the encounter, the more he couldn't stop thinking about it. Was Soundwave trying to befriend him or something because of their shared spark condition? Had he been trying to find Blaster specifically? Or had they simply run into each other at a concert because they both liked the same music? That seemed ridiculous, though. Perhaps it was a ruse of some sort to gather intel. Pretending to have a peaceful agenda in order to lull Blaster into thinking it was safe to talk to him, then abducting him or bugging him to further the Decepticon cause. Huffing air from his intakes, Blaster shook his head at himself. He needed to stop obsessing.

::Hey, Blaster. Come in, man.:: Jazz called out over the comm. lines.

Startled from his thoughts, Blaster sat up a little straighter in his seat. ::What's up?::

::I'm heading back now. Prime and Prowl are wrappin' things up and don't need me here. You get off shift in a bit, right?::

::Yep. In one Earth hour.:: Blaster smiled, happy to hear Jazz's voice and have his thoughts wander towards a more pleasant subject.

::I actually wanted to talk to ya 'bout something. How 'bout meetin' me for some energon once I'm back on base?:: Jazz sounded extra cheerful.

::Sure. Sounds good to me.:: Blaster leaned back against his seat, pondering what Jazz might have to tell him. Blaster had left Jazz the concert recording the day before as a little present on his desk with a note that said: May you love it as much as I did. He was excited to hear what Jazz might have to say to him.

The last hour of his shift seemed to drag on forever. Relief finally came when Red Alert appeared in the comm. control room doorway to take over. Blaster wasted no time, practically catapulting from his seat, waving his hand in a hello-goodbye gesture, and then quickly exiting to make his way to the common room to meet Jazz.

Entering the room, he scanned for Jazz's black and white form but didn't see him. _Must have beat him here_, he thought. He ambled to the energon dispenser and grabbed two servings, then picked a table to sit down and wait at. A breem passed before Jazz's grinning visage appeared in the doorway.

Blaster smiled brightly as he perked up in his seat. "Hey there."

"Hey, man!" Jazz landed hard on the seat across from Blaster and started to take the untouched energon ration, but paused mid-motion. "For me? Or are ya waitin' fer someone else?"

"For you," Blaster replied just before taking a sip of his own serving.

"Sweet! Thanks!" Jazz plucked the full energon cube off the table and took a long swig of the glowing fuel, then set it back down. "So I have big news."

News? Blaster arched his brow at Jazz. "And that is?"

Jazz leaned forward and spoke in a somewhat hushed voice so only Blaster would hear him. "See, we've been keeping it under wraps, but me and Prowler have been seeing each other fer a while and, well, I'm gonna ask him to bond to me."

Blaster's happy world shattered to pieces in the space of an astro-second.

Jazz was positively beaming as he spoke, which only made his words cut even deeper. Blaster sunk in his seat as he slowly processed each painful word and the implications they carried. '…keeping it under wraps'_. Jazz didn't think he could confide in me?_ '…me and Prowler have been seeing each other' _For how long has this been going on? _'I'm gonna ask him to bond to me.' _Jazz loves _Prowl?

"I'm gonna need to set the mood fer when I ask him, and I was wonderin' if you'd help me make a really good mix. He likes more traditional stuff, but I think…" Jazz trailed off and canted his head at Blaster. "You okay?"

_No._ "Yeah." Blaster felt like he was about to burst into tears right there and was drawing all the self control he could muster to hold back all the feelings of rejection Jazz had unwittingly released.

"You look upset. Did I say somethin' wrong? I guess I should have told ya 'bout it before, but Prowl—"

"I have to go." Blaster pushed to stand, but regretted it the moment he was on his feet. His whole frame was trembling with his barely restrained emotions. The energy signals from his cassettes spiked in response to his intense emotional reaction, and he touched his chest, feeling guilty on top of everything else for disturbing their recharge. The sooner he got out of the common room, the better. He didn't want anyone to see him break down, especially Jazz.

"Seriously, maybe you should sit back down. Ya look sick or somethin'." Jazz stood partway up out of his seat and touched Blaster's arm. His dermal plating practically burned where Jazz's fingers lightly touched.

Blaster jerked away from Jazz. "I'm fine." Without another word, he turned and quickly exited the common room, making his way toward the barracks. A dizzying pain took hold and seemed to expand and engulf his entire being. He needed to get to the safety of his room. As he rounded the corner and spied his sanctuary only a few steps away, he heard footsteps behind him. Refusing to turn and see who it was, he strode toward his door, but before he reached it he heard his name called out.

"Blaster, wait up!" Jazz yelled out as he came down the hallway at what sounded like a jogged pace.

He froze in place, his emotions gathering and swirling inside him like an electrical storm about to explode. How could Jazz be so clueless? How could he not see? What was so great about Prowl anyway? Blaster was the one that liked the same things as Jazz. He should be the one Jazz would fall for, not stupid, boring Prowl…

Jazz caught up and stepped into Blaster's line of sight. "What the slag just happened back there? Why did ya run off?"

Silence. Blaster knew if he opened his mouth and unloaded everything he was thinking that Jazz might hate him forever, so he opted to remain silent. Even looking at him was too much to bear, and he dropped his gaze to the shiny metallic floor between them.

"Is this 'cause ya have a lil' crush on me?" Jazz asked in a quieted voice.

Little crush? That's what Jazz saw it as? Little? Insignificant? His hurt quickly morphed into a hot anger, and Blaster looked back up at Jazz, narrowing his optics. "Little _crush?_"

"Yeah…" Jazz said as he vaguely reared back, apparently surprised by the venomous response.

"I-you-!" Growling, Blaster clinched his fists, trying to hold back from losing his temper entirely. "You _knew_ and never said _anything_?"

"Well, you didn't say anythin' either," Jazz said, as if he were innocent.

"I'm shy, you idiot! Ever consider that?"

"Well, Blaster, I like ya. But it's not as if we'd have a future together. Besides, I've known Prowler fer-like-ever and we get each other, ya know?" Jazz gave Blaster an apologetic smile.

Blaster felt all his hurt and anger mix together in a potent cocktail as he processed Jazz's words. "What do you mean we'd have no 'future together'?"

"Ya know, 'cause of yer spark…"

There it was. He saw Blaster as abnormal, just like everyone else did. In the end, Jazz was no different than the three previous mechs Blaster had once dated. His spark rendered him someone Jazz would never consider as a potential lover and lifetime companion. Somehow Jazz's rejection before anything could even start felt far worse than being dumped, though. It felt like a betrayal of trust, even. Jazz had never made him feel awkward or out of place because of his spark condition, but apparently that didn't extend beyond the realm of friendship.

_I'm unlovable…_Blaster thought to himself.

Blaster shook his head at Jazz. "Don't talk to me. Don't come near me. As of this moment, we are no longer friends."

He broke his gaze on Jazz and pushed past him to his door, palming it open and hurrying inside.

"Blaster, come on, man. You can't mean that-"

The door slid shut, cutting Jazz off.

Blaster stood silently for a moment in the middle of his room, feeling like the world was spinning all around him. A painful array of emotions intermingled: anger, hurt, and guilt collided together, making his fuel tank churn.

Blaster allowed his mind's thoughts to go to the darker corners. The places he tried to ignore most of the time. All the self-doubt that been slowly building since the first time someone he liked rejected him based on his spark hit him all at once. _I'm a freak, an accident, some_thing_ not some_one_… _

Wincing, Blaster held both hands over his chest as tears of coolant streamed down his face. Sobs soon wracked his entire frame as an infinite sadness took firm hold of him. He didn't ask for this. He was created this way. But did that matter to the world at large? No.

Blaster staggered to his berth, crawling front first into its cool surface. He pressed his cheek to the smooth plating and let his optics flicker off. Escape. He needed to get away from the pain. He continued to quietly cry for a while, feeling his cassettes' energy harmonize perfectly with his spark's in an attempt at sympathy. Eventually, he managed to grant his own wish and slip offline. If only he could recharge the rest of his life away, or maybe just disappear all together… It certainly didn't feel at the moment like he mattered anyway.

…

How to get an Autobot to trust a Decepticon? This was the quandary Soundwave had distilled his situation down to. The goal of speaking freely with his counterpart and learning about his experiences as a dual-pulse sparked mech could only be achieved if he gained the Autobot's confidence. Blaster would never believe that Soundwave had no mal intent unless he could somehow prove otherwise. But how could he do that, let alone gain his trust? It was a problem that wasn't going to be easily solved. He decided to gather some information to try and better understand how trust between mechs is formed in the first place.

Soundwave stood in the doorway of the commissary, scanning the room for anyone who might give him some useful information. Astrotrain and Blitzwing were too dimwitted to be of any help. The Constructicons were insular, and he doubted they'd have any real advice for him. Thrust, Ramjet and Dirge clearly hated him and he knew they wouldn't even talk to him let alone offer any advice.

Just as he was about to give up and leave, his gaze landed on Thundercracker. The seeker was sitting all alone in the corner of the room, drinking what looked like high-grade energon. He was one of the few members of the crew that didn't shun Soundwave whenever they passed each other off-duty. At the very least, asking Thundercracker for some advice was a place to start, despite not being sure he would have anything helpful to impart.

Soundwave wove his way through the busy commissary and walked up to Thundercracker's table. "May I sit?"

Thundercracker looked up at Soundwave and narrowed his optics. "Sit with _me_?"

"Yes." Soundwave placed his hand on the back of one of the chairs.

The seeker's wings perked up. "You drunk or something?"

"No."

Looking unconvinced, Thundercracker furrowed his brow. "Why the frag do you want to sit with me?"

Frowning behind his mask, Soundwave realized that hardly _anyone_ trusted him. "I wish to ask for your advice on a personal matter."

Thundercracker canted his head. "Personal matter? Keh, you have a personal life outside your quarters? I don't believe that for an astro-second."

It appeared Thundercracker was unwilling to help him. Soundwave let go of the seat back. "I apologize for the interruption."

Just as he turned to leave, Thundercracker piped up. "_Sit_. I need some entertainment after Starscream's training exercises today."

Soundwave looked back at Thundercracker, hesitating. The seeker appeared a little inebriated, and he wondered if talking to him now was really going to be useful or not.

"You going to sit down or not?" Thundercracker asked with a scowl.

Soundwave relented, turning around and pulling out the chair to sit.

Thundercracker leaned back in his seat and took a long swig of his high-grade. "So what is this 'personal' issue you've got?"

Soundwave remained skeptical but decided to at least hear what Thundercracker might have to say. "I wish to gain the trust of someone who is—" Soundwave paused. He couldn't say an 'Autobot,' and he quickly tried to think of another term to use that conveyed a similar meaning.

"Who is…what?" Thundercracker asked as he flicked his wings impatiently.

"Opposite in personality to me." There. That described the situation perfectly without giving anything away.

"No offense, but everyone is 'opposite in personality' when it comes to you." Thundercracker laughed a little. "So what's the deal? You trying to get a little action in the berth or what?"

Fragging and fighting. Was that all these warriors were capable of thinking about? "I am looking to form a friendship with a mech I know."

Thundercracker's optics brightened with his apparent surprise. "Really?"

"If you have no advice on the subject, I will be going—"

"I am so used to the morons around here, I just assumed." Thundercracker genuinely smiled as he leaned forward. "You want my advice? If you want to gain his trust: just be yourself."

That did not seem very helpful. Soundwave softly sighed air from his intakes. "That advice will not help me achieve my goal."

"See, there's your problem right there. It's not an equation you can solve. You can't think through it. You've gotta feel your way through it." Thundercracker took a small sip of his energon.

_Feel my way?_ Soundwave was confused. "I do not understand."

Frowning, Thundercracker faintly shook his head. "You can't be totally void of emotions. You aren't a drone. Connect to this mech by expressing yourself, sharing how you feel. That kind of thing."

The only things Soundwave usually felt were sadness or fear for his cassettes' safety. Over time he knew he had grown increasingly apathetic when it came to how he felt about himself. In fact, it was almost like his emotions were under lock and key, stowed safely away and inaccessible. "Expressing myself in such a manner would be difficult."

"Look, tell this whoever-it-is something about you that you've never told anyone before." Thundercracker grinned. "Take a risk. You might be surprised what happens."

Soundwave slowly nodded. That was advice with potential. Perhaps if he could show he trusted Blaster, then maybe it would be returned to him. That was logical.

"Well, that's the best advice I have for you." Thundercracker relaxed his wings as he took another long sip of his high-grade.

"What'cha blabbing about over here?" Skywarp asked as he approached the table.

Soundwave glanced at the young seeker. Due to his facemask and visor, many of the troops assumed Soundwave was older when, in fact, he was very close in age to Skywarp, which he had learned from combing through personnel files. Reading up on his fellow officers was one of his favorite pastimes.

"Nothing." Thundercracker stared at Soundwave as he half-smiled.

"I will be going now. Thank you." Soundwave pushed to his feet, standing just as tall as Skywarp.

Skywarp leaned forward into Soundwave's personal space, offering him a menacing grin. "Don't be gettin' any ideas. TC's all mine, got it?"

Soundwave frowned behind his mask and decided not to dignify the semi-accusation with an answer. He stepped around the seeker and exited the commissary. He didn't want to remain there any longer than required, especially since Thundercracker had actually given him some very interesting advice that he wanted to mull over.

Once in the hallway, his processor was buzzing with thoughts. Sharing something personal with Blaster, but what? Perhaps something about his past would be good to use. There were several different things that came to mind. He would have to spend some time considering the pros and cons of each one—

A sharp pain resonated through his spark, derailing his thoughts.

Soundwave froze in his tracks in the hallway and rubbed his fingers against the glassy center of his chest plate. He had almost forgotten about the new life budding against his spark. Pain at a spark level was unlike any other physical pain he had experienced. It could be completely crippling sometimes, this being one of those times. He sucked in a large gust of air and cycled it through his body, expelling it from his vents. The cooler air momentarily offered a bit of relief. Knowing it was a temporary reprieve, he moved quickly toward the barracks.

A part of him wished he could keep it, but whenever he had thoughts like that, he reminded himself of just how ill he had been after Laserbeak's extraction. The gouge left in his spark took a long time to mend and heal, and he didn't leave his quarters for almost an orn. If it hadn't been for Rumble and Frenzy looking after Ravage and Laserbeak while also bringing him energon and tending to him, he might have died. He made up his mind back then that he did_ not_ want to relive the experience.

…

"Put that one there," Eject directed his brother, Rewind.

Rewind considered the suggestion, holding the piece they were adding to the small model city they had built in the corner of Blaster's quarters. Wheeljack would let Blaster take some of the more interesting scraps from his lab once in a while, which he would give to his mini-mechs to play with. They were just over a vorn old, and with each passing deca-orn their speech and mental capacities had developed more and more. They couldn't grow in size or ever develop beyond a certain point since their sparks weren't fully coded, but eventually they would be as independent-minded as the ones Soundwave had.

Soundwave…Blaster furrowed his brow, remembering the strange encounter.

Maybe it was just because of the pain of his most recent rejection, but Blaster had an undeniable urge to see his Decepticon counterpart again. After all, he was the only mech in all the universe that might even begin to understand how Blaster felt right now. Lost. Abandoned. Alone. Treated like an outcast over something he didn't ask to be.

The buzzer to Blaster's door sounded, interrupting his thoughts. He slid off his berth and carefully stepped over Steeljaw and Ramhorn curled up together on the floor recharging.

At the door he paused as a sharp fear lanced through his spark. What if it was Jazz? He pressed his hand to the door, fingering the control panel for a moment before he decided to ask. He pressed the door-comm button. "Who's there?"

"Ah, it's me. You said the cassette recharge machine is broken. I was gonna take a quick look-see," Wheeljack replied.

Deeply relieved, Blaster pressed the button to open the door, revealing Wheeljack with a toolbox. Aside from Jazz, there were only two mechs on base he ever let near his cassettes: Wheeljack and Ratchet.

"Thanks for coming to look," Blaster said, forcing a smile to his lips.

Since the incident with Jazz, Blaster had spent all his off-duty time in his quarters. Hiding was much easier than facing what had happened. Unfortunately, his emotional state had been effecting his cassette's recharge cycles so he had been using a special recharging device Wheeljack made for him some time ago. However, it had broken down after the last use.

Blaster gestured to the knee-high boxy device just beside his berth. "It stopped working after the last time they were all in there."

Wheeljack nodded his head, making his way over. "Been using it a lot lately?" he asked as he set his toolbox down beside the device.

"Yeah," Blaster replied as he rubbed the back of his helm. Guilt had been plaguing him about having to use the recharge device in the first place. Wheeljack built it for Blaster to use when he would have to go into battle, giving him a safe place to leave his cassettes until he returned. Not as an alternative for his own sub-space pocket.

Kneeling down in front of the recharge device, Wheeljack pressed the release button and the cover lifted up. He peered inside, taking a long moment to visually inspect the inner workings. "Everything looks to be in order. What exactly is wrong with it? Is it not initiating the spark vibration simulation?"

Blaster stepped a little closer. "I'm not sure. They won't stay in it now. They come out and, ah—" Blaster glanced down at Steeljaw and Ramhorn. "Recharge on the floor."

Wheeljack glanced at the pair and his headfins flashed a pinkish hue. "I can see that. What about Eject and Rewind?"

"You guys said it feels weird, right?" Blaster asked them.

The two looked up at him, pausing their construction project to nod their heads.

"It's too warm," Rewind commented.

"And doesn't feel like you," Eject finished.

"Hmmm." Wheeljack rubbed his chin as he stood back up. "I can adjust the temperature, but it sounds like maybe there is a change in your spark vibration since I first programmed it. I'll need a fresh spark reading to compare the settings to so I can adjust it."

"Sparks change?" Blaster asked. That might explain things. The recharger was made and calibrated shortly after Eject and Rewind came online, which had been several stellar cycles ago prior to their time offline in the crashed _Ark_.

"Sparks can subtly change over time, and I am willing to bet your little guys here would be attuned to that." Wheeljack stooped down and pulled a spark scanner out of his toolbox. "So! Let's get a new scan. Have a seat," he said as he straightened his posture and patted the berth beside him.

Blaster did as directed, moving over to sit down on the edge of the berth. Baring his spark always made him feel tense, even around someone like Ratchet. He blamed his youth filled with medics that were constantly testing and examining his unusual spark for his adverse reaction to exposing it now. He looked into Wheeljack's optics, watching them soften their glow.

"Would you prefer Ratchet do the scan?" Wheeljack asked.

Heat flashed over his faceplates as he realized that he had hesitated too long. "No, no. It's fine." Blaster initiated the sequence and the glass of his chest lowered, exposing the spark chamber beneath, which also opened. He gripped the edge of the berth tightly, hoping it would be quick.

Wheeljack held the scanner over his exposed spark taking a long reading. "You have one of the most incredible sparks I've ever seen," he commented as his headfins flashed a blue shade.

Blaster glanced up at him. "Freakish is more like it." He forced a laugh, as if it were some kind of joke, but found his own words were actually quite biting.

Pulling the scanner away, Wheeljack stared at Blaster for a moment, instead of the screen. "Something _is_ going on with you, hm? Want to talk about it?"

Shaking his head, Blaster looked away as a swell of sadness rolled through him.

"Ah, you can close it up, I got a nice clean scan. In fact, you want to see it?" Wheeljack plopped down to sit beside Blaster, holding the scanner at an angle for him to see.

Not willing to look Wheeljack in the face, he fixed his attention on the scanner. His spark glowed a deep golden hue with a slight sheen that shimmered over the surface. It expanded outward in one direction while contracting in the opposite direction with each pulse. It almost looked as if his spark was dancing with itself as the two separate energy signals took turns with their pulses.

"Amazing, isn't it? The energy signals are perfectly in sync as they trade back forth with their pulse rates. It's quite beautiful." Wheeljack's headfins flashed as he spoke, denoting just how fascinating he found it to be.

"Yeah." Blaster was trying hard to maintain a casual façade, but as he stared at the looping image all he could think was how this 'beautiful' thing brought him so much spark-ache.

"I don't want to pry, Blaster, but, you know you can talk to me anytime. I am happy to lend a friendly audio." Wheeljack gently bumped his elbow into Blaster's arm.

"Thanks. I don't really…" Blaster trailed off, fighting the tide of despair that pushed through him. Jazz was no longer his friend and apparently not to meant to be his true love, either. But he really wasn't ready to say either of those things out loud yet, despite the friendly offer from Wheeljack. "It's just not easy sometimes."

Wheeljack slumped his shoulders slightly as he turned his gaze to the scanner. "I can only guess at what's going on, but let me at least say this: Your spark is special, extraordinary even. Don't let anyone ever make you think otherwise." Wheeljack looked up at Blaster. "It's something that makes you…_you_."

Blaster met Wheeljack's gaze, wondering how an engineer could be so philosophical.

"Well, I'll stop poking into your personal life and adjust the recharge unit for the lil' guys." Wheeljack moved from the berth to the floor and started to tinker with the device.

Blaster stayed seated, mulling over Wheeljack's words. He wanted to believe what Wheeljack said, but a lifetime of disappointment after disappointment had left deep marks on him.

"That goes there?" Eject asked as he pointed to the empty slot left in the side of the recharger device.

"Yep! I took it out to recalibrate it." Wheeljack replied.

Rewind wandered over and stood next to Eject. The two had their attention fixated on Wheeljack as he worked.

Blaster loved how curious they were but knew not everyone did. "If they are bothering you, just—"

"No bother at all!" Wheeljack interrupted as he glanced over his shoulder at Blaster.

Blaster smiled, his first genuine smile in over an Earth week. "Thank you, Wheeljack. For everything."

"Heh, anytime." Wheeljack's headfins flashed a pink hue.

Isolating himself from everyone wasn't going to make him feel any less miserable. In fact, it seemed to be making him feel worse. He didn't know how to get back to his former self, but then maybe he didn't want to be that mech anymore, either. Softly sighing air from his intakes, he realized he had some major self-examination to do. And he also knew that at some point he was going to have to deal with what happened between him and Jazz. He frowned at his own thoughts, knowing none of what he now faced would easy. His gaze wandered to his cassettes. They were so precious to him. They meant more to him than he could ever even explain, and he wanted to take good care of them.

He made up his mind at that moment to do whatever it would take to pull himself out of this downward spiral he was in. They deserved a happy, loving creator. Being that for them was completely up to him and he certainly didn't want to let them down. _I'll have to deal with the mess I made and stop hiding. _

* * *

_A/N- I know many of you might be really mad at Jazz for being so clueless, but I promise he will redeem himself. Thanks for taking the time to read and sorry about the delay. Real life and all that. Chapter 3 coming soon, though!_


	3. Crossover

Title: Everything Will Change: Crossover

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

Notes: Soundwave has done what he has to in order to survive in a warrior's world, while Blaster wonders if he'll ever find love. A chance encounter alters their perceptions of what they expect from life.

_This story was inspired by several fics. The one influencing the start of this story is 'Imperium in Imperio' by Mirage Shinkiro. I will list other fics as the chapters move forward._

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

Title taken from the song, "Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service.

* * *

"Soundwave!" Megatron yelled.

Snapping his attention to his leader, Soundwave stiffened his already rigid posture and nodded his acknowledgment.

"Send Laserbeak out to scan the area for any Autobots. I don't want any interruptions during construction." Megatron then turned his attention back to the screen of their temporary base's computer console.

Soundwave walked out from the back of the cave they were using as a base into the brightly lit desert landscape. This was the newest location for their spacebridge. They had amassed a large amount of energon, which Megatron planned to send back to Cybertron for Shockwave to use. Soundwave had monitored their communications and learned that Shockwave was busy building some sort of large-scale weapon. Soundwave did have some concerns regarding Megatron's ultimate goal, but he put them aside for the moment in order to attend to his own agenda.

Outside, the sun created an almost oppressive heat. The sounds of the Constructicons arguing over their building project carried on the light winds whipping around the desolate landscape. Astrotrain sat nearby with his cargo hold open and three of the fliers worked to unload the stockpile of energon while complaining about how hot the air temperature felt. Soundwave glanced down to see the ground under his feet was cracked from lack of moisture.

"Why are you just standing there like a dolt?" Starscream asked as he passed by Soundwave, carrying an arm full of energon cubes. "Help us unload."

"Megatron insists surveillance is a priority." Soundwave replied.

Starscream came to a stop and made a face, frowning at Soundwave. "Do your lips ever get tired of kissing his aft? Oh wait, we don't even know if you have lips." Starscream turned in a huff and proceeded into the cave.

Frowning behind his mask, Soundwave decided to ignore the grumpy SIC. He ejected Laserbeak, who flew around in the air before landing on his outstretched arm. Looking around, Soundwave made sure no one was watching him, and when it seemed everyone was otherwise occupied, he pulled out a data disc from his personal subspace pocket and then slid it into a small panel along Laserbeak's belly.

:: Drop near the _Ark_. Return and circle construction site. :: Soundwave ordered over their private comm. line.

Laserbeak squawked, then took off into the sky.

Soundwave had spent hours crafting the data disc to appear to be Autobot in origin, and then carefully weathered it to look as if it had been left outside. The probability of his plan working was 50/50. While he did hope it ended in his favor, he was also prepared to forge another plan if this one failed, and at the very least he hoped the disc ended up in the hands of the mech it was made for: Blaster.

…

Blaster sat at the communications computer console, keeping watch over various areas while monitoring radio waves. He stared at the screen, but his mind was elsewhere. After a lot of thought, he had decided he needed to reconcile with Jazz. It had been almost two Earth weeks since the incident in the hallway, and he was sick of folding in on himself. As much as he wanted things to be better between them again, he also felt exhausted just thinking about it. It would take a huge amount of emotional fortitude on his part, and despite his deep desire to make things right again, he just didn't feel quite ready yet.

An unexpected tapping sound interrupted Blaster's thoughts. Glancing over, he saw Bluestreak standing in the doorway of the communications room.

"What's up, Blue?" Blaster asked, faking a cheerful tone.

"I found this data disc outside earlier. When I checked it out, it came up as yours. I thought it might one of your music mixes and figured you'd want it back. Maybe you dropped it or something." Bluestreak smiled as he walked over and offered it to Blaster.

"Oh, thanks, Blue." Blaster took the disc and examined it. He didn't remember dropping one outside, but if it was coded to him it must be his. By the looks of it, it had been outside for a while.

"So, ah, you haven't been hanging out in the rec room lately. Is everything okay? It's not the same without you and Jazz there. Sideswipe said he misses you guys blasting music. Sunny doesn't seem to care, but then, he never seems to care about anything other than his paint job." Bluestreak laughed at his own joke.

Despite his gloomy mood, Blaster smiled. "Sorry 'bout that. I've not been feelin' to up to socializin' lately."

Bluestreak frowned. "Oh." His doorwings lowered slightly on his back. "'Cause of Jazz and Prowl? I heard they are seeing each other now. Well, Sides told me that, and he heard it from Ironhide who saw them in the barracks hall together."

Unsure how to respond, Blaster looked away from Bluestreak, choosing to instead stare at the data disc in his hand.

"That would make me sad, too. I know you liked Jazz."

It had been so obvious that even Bluestreak knew? "Yeah, I kinda did," Blaster replied quietly.

"Well, that just means someone _else _is meant for you." Bluestreak put a comforting hand on Blaster's shoulder.

Blaster glanced up at Bluestreak. "Thanks, Blue."

"Come and hang out with us tonight, okay?" Bluestreak's doorwings perked up. "We'll do something fun to take your mind off things."

Blaster gazed at Bluestreak for a moment, thinking about how lonely and trapped in his thoughts he had been over the last couple of weeks. Maybe a night of fun would do him some good. "Yeah, okay. I'll be sure to stop by." Blaster had been so focused on Jazz, he almost forgot he had other friends here as well.

"Awesome! I better get going, though. I have target practice in less than a breem." Bluestreak headed for the doorway, then paused briefly, looking back at Blaster. "See you later!"

"See ya later, Blue."

Blaster fingered the data disc, thinking about how kind-sparked Bluestreak could be. Maybe hanging out with them for a little while would help ease his broken spark a little. Remind him that he had friends who cared. He stared at the disc, then decided to see what was on it. Maybe it had something good he could play for them later.

He popped out his current mix disc and slid in the one Bluestreak had found. It asked him for a password, and he froze in place, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

He _never_ locked his discs.

"What the—?" Blaster stared at the screen prompt, then decided to run a diagnostic. "Teletraan, scan the disc for viruses or bugs."

The screen opened a new window where it started a scan.

_Disc: Autobot in origin. _

_Contains 18 files. _

_No viruses. _

_No bugging devices._

_Password required._

_Creator: Blaster._

"I don't password lock my discs," Blaster muttered to himself. "Teletraan, are there any password prompts available?"

The screen lit up with one password prompt: _Your spark._

Blaster's optics surged brightly at the hint and his entire frame grew tense. Could it be? Was it possible? His fingers lingered in the air over the console keypad, hesitating to type in the answer. He _knew_ he didn't make this disc, but it was expertly disguised as one of his. Only one mech he could think of would have the talent to create something that could fool Teletraan as well as use 'your spark' for the prompt: Soundwave.

A small war raged inside Blaster. He should pop it out and report the earlier encounter as well as this disc. But he also desperately wanted to know what was on it. Discover why Soundwave would go to such lengths.

"I shouldn't," he said to himself. "But…" His curiosity got the better of him as his fingers broke free of their frozen state and danced over the keyboard typing in the password: _Dual-pulse._

_Password: Accepted._

A list of music files displayed on screen. They were all from a band he had never heard of before, The Chemical Brothers. He prompted the computer to play the first song, unleashing a steady stream of rhythmic, electronic sounds. It wasn't like anything he listened to normally. He stared at the list on the screen, trying to discern the meaning behind it. Was it a trick? Was it a message? Was it a _trick-message_? Blaster's processor was whirring as he tried to reason out Soundwave's possible motives. It could be as complex as some sort of plot to kidnap him, or it could be as simple as Soundwave reaching out to the only other dual-pulse mech now alive.

Blaster leaned back in his seat, unsure what to think.

After the first song ended, a window popped up on screen listing the next three concert dates and locations for The Chemical Brothers.

Utterly shocked, Blaster sat forward again and stared at the screen, his mouth slightly agape. "He wants to meet up with me," Blaster said to himself. _Now what do I do?_

This had to be the strangest thing Blaster had ever encountered. Inherent suspicion of the opposing faction aside, he started to wonder if Soundwave's intentions might not be faction-based. He used 'your spark' as the password prompt. Blaster had only met one other mech like himself when he was a youngling and still vividly remembered the awe and excitement he felt during the visit. He had asked as many questions as he could think of, wanting to learn what he could about his condition from another mech like him. Perhaps that was what Soundwave was attempting to do now, reach out to another mech like himself. If that were true, though, why now? Blaster frowned, more confused than ever.

_What does Soundwave really want? _

…

Putting his issues with Jazz aside as well as putting off dealing with the whole data disc from Soundwave thing, Blaster joined Bluestreak in the rec room as he promised. He even had a good time, momentarily forgetting all about his troubles.

They played a human card game called 'poker', using a set of oversized cards Wheeljack made for them and energon goodies as 'chips'. For a short time, it felt almost like everything was normal again. Sideswipe joked around, Sunstreaker focused on the game they were playing, and Bluestreak talked up a storm. The only thing missing was Jazz. He did his best to push thoughts of Jazz out of his mind, though. He was here to have fun.

The evening's game wore on into the later evening hours. Blaster laughed and joked with everyone for as long as he could. "Wow, it's gettin' late. I better head out for the night." Blaster placed his cards face down on the table.

"Aww. You can't stay?" Bluestreak sounded disappointed.

Truth was, Blaster could feel his cassettes growing restless. He pressed a hand to his chest. "Nah, I gotta get going."

Sunstreaker raised an optic ridge at Blaster. "They want out, huh?"

Blaster looked over at Sunstreaker, surprised by his observation. "Uh, yeah."

"I forget you have cassettes," Sideswipe said with a lop-sided grin. "By the way, you're welcome anytime, you know. You don't need Jazz as a ticket to hang out with us."

Blaster smiled sheepishly as he stood up. "I'll keep that in mind." It felt good to know they didn't think less of him after his fight with Jazz. "Catch you all later," he said as he waved a quick goodbye.

"Later!" Bluestreak and Sideswipe replied in unison as Sunstreaker simply stared at him.

For the first time in a couple of weeks, his mood felt lighter. Hiding in his room really _had _been making things worse. He was social; he needed to interact with friends. It really made a huge difference to have that kind of time with them, talking, playing, and enjoying himself. He walked with a small bounce in his step as he made his way back to the barracks, thinking about the evening and replaying some of their light conversation.

"Nice to see ya smilin', Blaster."

Blaster was startled from his thoughts at the sound of Jazz's voice. He looked up, his gaze locking on Jazz's visor. A small frown pulled at his former friend's lips.

"Then ya see me an' look like that. Slag, man." Jazz shook his head.

Shrinking in on himself, Blaster felt his happy mood drain away. All the hurt he had managed to push away returned full force. His already restless cassettes felt like they were going to force their way out any second. He pressed both hands to his chest. "I don't have time to talk to you right now. They need me." Blaster tamped down his feelings, putting his cassettes' needs ahead of his own.

He walked right past Jazz, heading for his quarters.

"I can't take things being like this between us." Jazz's voice and footsteps echoed in the metallic hallway behind Blaster.

At the door, Blaster palmed it open and started to step inside.

"Can we talk? Please, man?" Jazz asked as he caught up to Blaster.

Blaster stared at Jazz for a long moment. His hurt hadn't lessened over the last couple of weeks, and he knew unless he talked about it, the pain might never ease up. "Yeah, okay," he replied as he stepped inside with Jazz just behind him.

The door made its customary hissing sound as it slid shut, and he ejected all four of his creations. Rewind and Eject stretched their arms over their heads and Steeljaw and Ramhorn chased each other around. Ignoring his unwanted guest, Blaster went to the table near the door where he prepped four servings of energon. He handed off small containers to Eject and Rewind, then set down two bowl-shaped containers on the ground for the other two. Once they were all busily refueling, he finally cast a glance in Jazz's direction.

Jazz's slumped posture straightened as he sadly smiled. "So ah, yer willin' to talk to me, then?"

"I suppose." Blaster walked over to his berth and plopped down.

"I really didn't mean to hurt ya. I'm real sorry, Blaster." Jazz wandered over and tentatively took a seat at the far end of the berth.

"In all the time I've known you, you never once made me feel like that before." Blaster stared down at the ground.

"Feel like what, man? I kinda don't get what happened."

"How do you _not_ get it?" Blaster asked as he looked up at Jazz.

"Well, I know ya like me and all that. I guess I assumed it was just a crush. I didn't realize how_ much_ ya liked me." Jazz's shoulders were hunched forward as he fingered the edge of the berth.

"It's more than that, Jazz. You-" Blaster paused, feeling coolant pool in his optics. "You made me feel like a freak."

Jazz's visor brightened. "What? I never said anythin' like that!"

"You said, 'we had no future together' because of my _spark_." The coolant that had pooled in his optics escaped down his cheeks, and he quickly reached up to wipe them away while hiding his face in his hands. In the process of doing so, small hands pressed on his legs, and when he looked down saw both his mini-mechs staring up at him, worry crossing over their thin bond. He reached down and scooped them up, sitting them on his lap.

"I really didn't choose my words very well, did I?" Jazz admitted in a quiet voice.

Blaster could do nothing more than shake his head as he tried to fight back his tears.

"I never meant to imply there was somethin' wrong with ya. I just, well, I've always wanted a bondmate, ever since I was small. And Prowl…he balances me. I have a ton of fun with you, but I never saw us as somethin' besides friends," Jazz sighed air from his intakes. "What a fraggin' mess, huh?"

Blaster nodded as he gave his mini-mechs a small squeeze.

"So, what can we do to fix it? I need my best friend 'round. Especially when Prowl is drivin' me up a wall." Jazz reached out and playfully pinched Blaster's elbow.

Glancing back over at Jazz, he could feel his urge to cry fade a little. He wanted his best friend back too, but it all still stung so much. He wasn't sure he was ready yet. "I think I need more time, Jazz."

"'Kay." Jazz's small smile faded away. He looked as hurt as Blaster felt. "And, for the record, I don't think yer a 'freak'. I love your lil' guys, and I think it's pretty slaggin' cool you made them. I mean that."

Eject's head swiveled around to look at Jazz. "Cooool."

A small smile curved Jazz's lips. "Man, they are pickin' up more words already."

Blaster shifted his gaze to Eject. "Yeah, they are."

"When will they be done maturin'?" Jazz asked.

"When they are about three vorns old." Blaster relaxed his posture a little but kept his gaze pinned on his mini-mechs.

"So… how long you think?" Jazz asked.

"How long for what?" Blaster asked as he glanced back over at Jazz.

"Til' things are okay again between us."

Blaster dimmed his optics. "I don't know." That was the truth. He had no idea how long it would take to let go of his romantic feelings toward Jazz. It might take a few orns, but it also might not ever go away. Although Blaster did hope it would at least fade enough that they could conceivably be friends again.

Jazz nodded as he frowned. "Guess I'll let ya be. Lemmie know when things are cool between us again or if there's somethin' I can do."

"I will."

Blaster watched Jazz slowly get to his feet and make his way to the door. There was hesitation in his steps, and Blaster knew him well enough to see how upsetting this whole situation was for him. While he felt badly that Jazz was hurting too, Blaster needed to deal with his own part in all this before he could let go and move on. Apologizing was a start, but only time could ultimately heal his emotional wounds. The door slid open, and Jazz glanced back at Blaster, offering him a forced-looking smile and a quick wave goodbye before he slipped out of the room and the door shut behind him.

"He'll come back?" Rewind asked.

"Yep. Just not for a little while," Blaster replied before he pressed a small kiss to Rewind's helm.

He had no idea how to go about healing the gaping wound left in his spark. He had made the mistake of letting a fantasy build up in his mind, imagining what a life with Jazz might be like. Dreaming of what their first kiss would feel like… Blaster faintly shook his head, trying to push away his broken dreams. If Jazz wouldn't fall in love with him, then who would? Was it even possible to find someone else, like Bluestreak said? Or was he doomed to be alone? _Primus, I hope not…_

"No new music?" Eject asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Blaster glanced at Eject, realizing that he and Jazz had suspended their usual trading of music mixes. "No new mix today—Oh, wait." Blaster suddenly remembered his other big dilemma from earlier and unwound his arm from around Eject's waist. Reaching into his personal sub-space pocket, he pulled out the data disc from Soundwave. He stared at it for a moment, wondering if keeping this secret was a mistake or not. He could end up in some serious trouble if Red Alert or Prowl found out, but it wasn't like he was gathering vital intel or anything. How much harm could really come from just listening to the disc? "I do have some new music on me. You guys want to hear it?"

Rewind and Eject nodded as they grinned.

Blaster carefully placed them back on the floor and went over to his computer terminal, inserting the disc and typing in the password. Soon the rich sound of the complex music filled the air. He looked back over at his cassettes, watching Eject and Rewind start to dance around while Steeljaw and Ramhorn hopped and wriggled to the music.

"Dance with us!" Eject said with smile plastered across his small face.

Blaster took a couple steps closer and started to dance along with them, laughing at how silly they all looked. He rubbed his face where some of his coolant tears had dried, and for the moment gave into the simple pleasure of being with his cassettes. Primus, he loved them all so much. Even when the outside world felt so dark and cruel, his cassettes never failed to cheer him up and make him smile. Healing was going to take time, but it did make him happy to know that he had them to shower his love on. At least they wouldn't reject him.

…

The music wafted up the hillside from the arena down below. Rhythmic beats and a primitive light show took over center stage as the band played. This was the last of the three concerts Soundwave had listed in his hidden message on the data disc, and it was already half over. Would Blaster come before the end, or had his plan failed?

This was possibly the most selfish thing Soundwave had ever done. Up until now, he had carefully worked to ensure he and his cassettes survived within the oppressive lifestyle the war had brought, but now he was putting them all at risk. And for what? To sate his overwhelming curiosity? To learn more about his condition from a mech that shared it? He was pushing far beyond the safe borders he usually adhered to, and he worried that his choice to give into his desire would have disastrous results.

Maybe this was a really bad idea.

Soundwave frowned behind his mask. _Take a risk. You might be surprised what happens. _Thundercracker's words kept repeating in Soundwave's mind. This _was_ a huge risk, but the possible payout of knowledge proved too tempting to pass up, bad idea or not. Besides, it was looking like Blaster wasn't coming.

The sounds of dirt and rocks crunching underfoot caught Soundwave's attention. Glancing out over the hillside terrain, he switched his visor's settings to show him a heat index. The undeniable shape of another mech registered several meters away, unmoving.

"I know you are there." Soundwave switched his visor back to full spectrum and watched a similarly shaped mech emerge from beneath the cover of a large, nearby tree. The moonlight reflected off the silver and red plating of his counterpart as he tentatively moved closer.

"Ah, so where are the cassettes at?" Blaster asked.

Soundwave held a hand over his chest. "Here." That wasn't entirely true. Only Ravage and Laserbeak were in his special subspace pocket. Rumble and Frenzy were back on base playing with their game console and monitoring the communications lines for Soundwave, having promised to contact him if something came up on base. Starscream's unpredictable behavior mixed with Megatron's huge ego sometimes led to unexpected circumstances that Soundwave might need to get back to base for.

Blaster nodded. His expression was tight-looking and a small frown pulled at his lips. Nothing like the jovial mech Soundwave had seen in Laserbeak's footage from a few weeks ago. Had something changed? Or was this simply faction tension?

"So, what do you want with me?" Blaster asked, clearly suspicious. "You gonna kidnap me, deliver me to Megatron or something?"

Soundwave faintly shook his head. "No." He needed to get past this faction distrust. "My agenda is personal."

Blaster's posture tensed, and he backed away a step. "What does _that _mean?"

Soundwave frowned behind his mask, recognizing Blaster's body language as fearful and distrusting. "I only wish to speak with you." He needed to bridge the gap between them and quickly before his opportunity was lost. "My intent is not to harm." Soundwave pressed a hand to his chest. "Our sparks are similar."

Blaster canted his head. "So that's why you did all that fancy footwork with the data disc?"

Soundwave nodded.

"Pretty elaborate." Blaster glanced down for a moment. "I really shouldn't be here, you know." Looking back up, his expression softened. "I have to admit I was curious, though."

_Take a risk._

Soundwave had spent days thinking of things he could share about himself like Thundercracker had suggested. But now, with Blaster right here, none of his planned out strategies seemed viable. He had no idea how best to proceed and part of him was frightened he'd ruin this opportunity and never get another chance at one.

"Sooo..." Shifting his weight, Blaster pursed his lips. "Well, this is awkward."

"I apologize." Soundwave let his shoulders sink. "My preparations were not adequate."

"What?" Blaster's optics brightened as he smiled a little. "Preparations? How do you prepare to talk to someone you've tried to kill, exactly?"

The small smile hinted at the version of Blaster he had been hoping to meet. Encouraged, Soundwave attempted to come up with an appropriate answer. "My actions on the battlefield are for self preservation."

"Kill or be killed, huh?" Blaster shifted his weight to one leg, seeming to relax a little. "You know, I still can't really fathom the whole sending cassettes out to fight or spy thing. I would be too scared something might happen to them."

"Megatron cannot be denied. It is easier to appease his desire than go against it." Soundwave loathed sending his cassettes out but knew if he refused it would only end badly. "I added armament and weaponry so they are able to fight if I am unable to properly protect them."

"Yeah, I know." Blaster rubbed the back of his helm. "Seen the pile-drivers in action. Not a pretty sight, that's for sure."

Soundwave's gaze lowered to Blaster's chest. "You…have cassettes?"

"Of course." Blaster dropped his arm back to his side.

"With you?" Soundwave asked.

Blaster laughed a little. "No way! I left them back in my quarters."

Did he have mini-mechs too? Perhaps ones just like Soundwave's? "You leave them unattended?"

"Ah, no. I have this recharge thingie I put them in." Blaster's gaze dropped to Soundwave's chest. "You take yours everywhere?"

Nodding, Soundwave watched his counterpart carefully. It was awkward, but they were connecting somewhat. "How many do you have?" Soundwave asked.

Blaster's gaze lifted, and he stared at Soundwave for a long moment before replying. "Four. Is that the type of stuff you wanted to ask me?"

What Soundwave wanted to know varied wildly. From the more mundane details of how many and what kind of cassettes Blaster had to deeper questions about the lonely, disconnected sensation he felt in his spark and whether that was normal or not. "I have many questions."

Blaster straightened his posture. "Hm. So how about we trade back and forth? You ask a question, then I'll ask a question. Deal?"

"That sounds reasonable," Soundwave replied.

"But, ah, if neither one of us wants to answer we can pass, 'kay?" Blaster bounced on his feet slightly, as if he were nervous.

"Agreed," Soundwave replied.

"I'll start. Um… If you're so worried about your cassettes, then why stay a Decepticon?" Blaster frowned slightly as he spoke.

"Decepticons rescued me from the rubble of my destroyed hometown. They are all I have known aside from my creators; therefore I do what I must to ensure our collective safety within their ranks." Soundwave also wanted to be on the winning side of this war, which had been the Deceptions so far, although he had to admit they were losing ground on that front after their long stay on Earth.

"I suppose that makes sense," Blaster replied with a small frown. "Your turn to ask."

Soundwave fixed his gaze on Blaster as he then tried to decide what he should ask first. "Do you have mini-mechs as well?"

"Yeah, but they are younger than yours." Blaster paused barely a moment before asking his next question. "What was your hometown?"

"Meblon." Soundwave found out after his near death that his town's government was run by Decepticon sympathizers, and the council bombed it off the map in hopes of quashing the uprising and civil war before it got out of hand. Soundwave and his parents hadn't been Decepticons, but that mattered little to the council at the time. He hardly ever felt much emotion, but just thinking about how his parents died for no reason other than proximity caused the energon in his lines to burn with his anger. He realized after a moment, he had unconsciously pulled his hands into fists in response. "I prefer to pass on further questions regarding where I am from."

Blaster looked concerned as he nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Soundwave tried to push back his painful memories in order to choose another question. One of the more pressing questions he had was about the strange disconnected feeling he had in his spark. Being surrounded by his cassettes made it seem strange that he still always felt so lonely. He was curious if it was just him or something mechs with their particular condition felt.

"Does your spark ever—" Soundwave was unable to finish his question as a surge of pain lanced his spark. It would be now that the budding sparklet would decide to draw some energy. He grunted and grasped at the glass of his chest with both hands, trying to fight off the desire to double over from the pain.

"Hey, you okay?" Blaster quickly moved closer but stopped a couple of steps away. "Is your spark hurtin'?"

Soundwave wordlessly nodded. The pain was radiating outward and making his entire frame ache. He started to bend forward despite his best efforts.

"Here, sit!" Blaster closed the gap between them and gently took hold of Soundwave's forearm with one hand and elbow with the other.

Normally when anyone touched his plating, Soundwave would shrink away. He despised having his space invaded, and the actual touching was often quite unpleasant for him. He was shocked that Blaster's touch was having an opposite effect. It felt comforting and warm. His dermal plating even tingled a little where Blaster's fingers pressed.

"Sit down and lean forward. Sometimes that eases the pain a little bit," Blaster instructed.

Soundwave stared at Blaster's face now so close to his own, seeing genuine concern in his expression. His counterpart seemed to know exactly what was happening. _Amazing_, he thought. He did as directed and lowered himself down to sit, then wrapped his arms over his abdomen and leaned forward as he waited for the pain to pass.

"So you're carrying a new one, huh?" Blaster sounded amused as he took a seat right beside Soundwave. "Is that why you came looking for me now?"

Glancing over at Blaster, Soundwave frowned behind his mask. The timing had been accidental. "No."

Blaster raised an optic ridge, as if he didn't believe him.

"How did you discern so quickly that I am carrying one?" Soundwave asked.

"Are you kidding me? I know how much that hurts! Only one reason you'd suddenly not be able to stand up and I know. Been there plenty of times myself. It totally sucks that normal mechs get to carry theirs outside their sparks with that little energy tendril thing. We get stuck with them attached." Blaster smiled. It was a friendly, warm-looking smile. Much like the one he had sported in the footage Laserbeak shot.

'…_tell this whoever-it-is something about you that you've never told anyone before.'_

Soundwave suddenly realized he had unintentionally done just as Thundercracker suggested, earning him what appeared to be trust.

"Nothing was worse than when I had my mini-mechs, though. I was totally a mess when they would they grow. Two at once hurt so much sometimes I would just lie in my berth rolling around in pain." Blaster stared off for a moment. "But I wouldn't take any of it back." He glanced at Soundwave. "They were totally worth it, you know? Heh, of course you do. You've got mini-mechs, too."

Rumble and Frenzy weren't his, though. Soundwave wasn't quite sure if he should expose yet another little known fact about himself so soon, but at the same time he wanted to know more since he had no idea that creations could bud simultaneously. "Two at once?" Soundwave managed to ask, hoping the pain the ease up soon.

"Yeah, all mini-mechs are two at once. You should know that." Blaster looked confused.

The pain eased a little and Soundwave glanced at Blaster, realizing he was already waist deep in this and that he may as well admit the truth. "I did not create them. I rescued them, and they chose to stay with me."

Blaster's optics brightened. "Really? Isn't that weird to have cassettes that don't share your energy signal in your sub-pocket?"

"At first. But with time we grew accustomed to one another." The first few times he allowed them into his subspace pocket had been extremely uncomfortable, but within only a deca-orn Rumble and Frenzy's sparks seemed to accept Soundwave's and they eventually harmonized.

"That's incredible. I never heard of that happening before." Blaster's astonished expression faded to a small smile. "You're nothin' like I expected."

"Is that a good or bad assessment?" Soundwave asked, genuinely unsure.

"Good." Blaster shifted his gaze to the ground as he appeared to ponder something.

The pain within Soundwave's spark started to finally fade away, allowing him to sit back up in a more casual position. He unwound his arms from his abdomen and fingered his chest, feeling regretful that he wasn't going to be able to keep this new life. Creations _were_ special like Blaster suggested, but this risk of death was simply too high for him to take.

Blaster then looked back to Soundwave. "So, if you only have two cassettes, that means you're younger than me."

"I suspect I am much younger than you, yes." Soundwave found himself staring at Blaster. He examined the shape of the dome portion of his helm, let his gaze lift up to the two little angled finials that accented each side, then wander back to Blaster's faceplates which were rounded in shape, making him look young. His gaze then locked on the piercing blue optics that were watching him. They had a depth of color and mixture of blue hues that only develop over time as an optical cortex is used and was one of the only indicators to give away the fact that Blaster was much older than he otherwise appeared.

"You sayin' I'm old?" Blaster asked as he half-smiled.

"Older than me, yes."

Blaster burst out laughing. It was light and airy sounding. "Aw, man. You're exactly like I imagined and nothing at all what I thought."

Soundwave was confused. "That statement makes no logical sense."

"Not everything is logical." Blaster playfully elbow bumped Soundwave's arm. "If there's one thing I've come to realize over the last few orns, it's that life is unpredictable." Despite the smile on Blaster's face, there was an undertone of sadness in his voice.

Soundwave thought that meeting Blaster would quell his overwhelming curiosity, while giving him answers to questions he had about his spark condition. Instead, he was even more intrigued than ever, and it felt like no matter how many questions he asked, he would never fully understand Blaster.

"Oh, I have something for you." Blaster reached into his subspace pocket and pulled out a small data disc, offering it to Soundwave. "Figured I'd make you a mix, too."

"Thank you," Soundwave replied as he took the offered disc.

"Me and my cassettes really liked the one you left me." Blaster then gestured to the band down below on the stage. "They're really good."

Slipping the disc into his own personal sub-space pocket, Soundwave glanced down at the arena below. "I find the strong rhythmic sounds enjoyable."

"Well, I hope you like what I gave you. I didn't stick to one band, though. I put on all sorts of stuff I listen to on it," Blaster replied.

A comfortable silence took over as they sat together listening to the music echoing up the hillside. There was something inexplicitly soothing about sitting with Blaster like this. Sharing a moment with someone other than his cassettes felt…good. Sooner than Soundwave would have liked, the band finished their set and exited the stage, though. The lights on stage dimmed, and a small surge of sadness struck Soundwave. He glanced over at Blaster as he realized he didn't want this moment to come to an end.

"My ride will be here in a bit. I better get back to where he was gonna pick me up." Blaster locked gazes with Soundwave. "You feelin' better now?"

Soundwave nodded.

"Good."

Blaster got to his feet, and Soundwave did the same.

"I guess that's it then," Blaster said as he shrugged his shoulders.

Did that mean he'd never get to spend time with Blaster again? He still had questions. More information he wanted to know and understand. "Perhaps we can attend another event and talk again."

Blaster grinned. "Sure." He then started to walk away but turned so he was walking backward as he spoke again. "I left you a message, too, by the way. Later!" With that, Blaster spun around and headed down the hillside, presumably toward his mentioned 'ride'.

Soundwave stood silently staring into the darkness of the hillside where Blaster had disappeared. He had managed to bridge the gap between them, even if it had been by exposing a secret he hadn't even told Rumble and Frenzy about yet. The end result had not been what he expected, either. Normally, once he got what he wanted he was left feeling somewhat empty and would then try to find something else to obsess over. This encounter left him even more intrigued than ever. Why had Blaster's touch felt comforting? Was connecting with another dual-pulse sparked mech always this easy? What would further conversations be like? Could this possibly become his first real friendship?

His risk had paid out much more than he expected. In fact, he knew there were things he still needed to process in order to fully understand what had transpired. He smiled a little behind his mask, feeling both satisfied as well as craving more. There was much more to be learned, and he was looking forward to further discoveries about his possible new 'friend'. He would just have to ensure Decepticon objectives and plans Megatron had brewing didn't interfere with his personal agenda.

* * *

_A/N- Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Sorry I don't have time to reply to them, but I very much appreciate them. :D More to come soon! The next chapter will be in my beta's hands shortly. Thanks, again._


	4. Past, Present and Future?

Title: Everything Will Change: Past, Present and Future?

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M (kissing)

Notes: Soundwave has done what he has to in order to survive in a warrior's world, while Blaster wonders if he'll ever find love. Circumstances soon alter their perceptions of the world and what they expect from life.

_This story was inspired by several fics. The one influencing the start of this story is 'Imperium in Imperio' by Mirage Shinkiro. I will list other fics as the chapters move forward._

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

Title taken from the song "Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service.

* * *

_A sparkling Soundwave clutched his father's hand tightly. They usually spent their days home alone together going over lessons or playing. Today was his fathers' anniversary, though, and they had left the house to pick up some energon treats to have later in celebration when his other father came home from work. _

_The outside world was loud and confusing for Soundwave, though. He pressed close to his father as they walked through the busy downtown area of their city. They wove between other mechs who were either also walking along or standing around in groups. They all seemed so tall and many were very loud. Soundwave winced, feeling overwhelmed and agitated by the overload of sensory input. He was immensely relieved once they reached their destination and entered the small and thankfully quiet confectionary shop._

"_I would like a box of the sweet energon goodies, please," his father told one of the mechs behind the counter. _

"_Sure thing." The mech smiled down at Soundwave, then proceeded to fill a small see-though box with ten of the confections. "So, what's the occasion? Creation day?"_

"_Anniversary, actually," his father replied. _

"_Oh, yeah? How long?" the mech behind the counter asked while he carefully filled the container. _

"_9 vorns, now." His father glanced down at the display of energon goodies then pointed to a row of treats neatly lined up. "What do these taste like?"_

_The door to the shop slid open and another mech and sparkling walked inside. Soundwave tuned out his father's conversation, focusing on the sparkling that had just entered the shop. He was about the same height as Soundwave and colored bright yellow with red accent stripes on his sides and upper arms. Being homeschooled meant Soundwave hardly ever got to see other sparklings, and he found himself curiously staring at the one that entered the shop._

_The other sparkling narrowed his optics as he glared back at Soundwave. "What are you looking at?"_

_Soundwave shyly averted his gaze to the floor for a long moment. However, his curiosity proved too strong to resist, and he gave into his desire, looking back over at the other sparkling. At first the yellow sparkling didn't notice, too preoccupied with telling his parent which of the confections he wanted, but once he finished talking, he looked back over in Soundwave's direction, noticing the unwavering gaze. The yellow sparkling then stalked over and crossed his arms over his small chest._

"_Only baby sparklings hold their parent's hands like that, you know." _

"_I am not a baby sparkling," Soundwave answered in a matter-of-fact tone._

"_Yeah, you are."_

_Confused by the clear lack of logic in the statement, Soundwave frowned. He was clearly the same size as this other sparkling, so why was he describing him that way?_

"_Excuse me, would you mind?" Soundwave's father asked as he gestured to the yellow sparkling while speaking to the other parent._

"_Mind?" _

"_He's staring at me! He's _weird_." The yellow sparkling pointed at Soundwave as he glanced back at his parent._

"_It seems your sparkling is the one that caused the trouble." The other parent then pointedly looked back at the display. "I'll take 25 of the spiced ones." _

_Soundwave felt his hand squeezed. He looked up to see his father glaring at the other parent. "_Your _sparkling is the one bullying mine." _

"_He would never do such a thing." The other parent then turned to face his father. "Aren't you Distortion's mate, Harmony?" _

_His father frowned. "Yes. What of it?"_

"_So this is the famous sparkling then, isn't it? The one with the messed up spark?"_

_Soundwave felt his arm yanked as his father scooped him up and held him close to his chest. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he could tell from how his father's body trembled and the fierce glow of his optics that he was extremely angry. _

"_Frag you." His father grabbed his box of confections off the counter with his free hand and stormed out of the shop. _

_Curling up against his father's frame, Soundwave rested his cheek on his broad shoulder and felt each jarring step shake his frame as his father briskly walked them back to their home. The outside world seemed so unfriendly and stressful. No wonder his parents kept him home most of the time. Why had that yellow sparkling called him a 'baby' when he was clearly no longer that small? Soundwave frowned, finding the whole experience puzzling and tiresome._

_At the edge of the property their home stood on, his father stopped in his tracks. "Soundwave," he said in a gentle voice._

_Soundwave looked up, his gaze locking with his father's. "Your life is going to be filled with moments like that. No matter how much I want to protect you—" His father's voice wavered, then cut off. Coolant pooled in his optics. "I'm so sorry."_

_Soundwave didn't understand why his father was crying and stared at him, unsure what to do. "Don't cry. We have treats."_

_His father snorted and laughed, a light, happy sound that Soundwave loved to hear, while tears still streamed down his face. He sighed softly after a moment and smiled sadly. "You're absolutely right. We have treats." His father pressed a kiss to his helm. "Don't forget that no matter what, you'll always have us in your life, okay?"_

_Soundwave nodded. _

o.o.o

Staring blankly at the computer monitor in the communications room, Soundwave mulled over the memory file that had surfaced during his recharge the night before.

…_you'll always have us in your life._

It was a promise they had not been able to keep. His parents were long gone, and the only evidence of their existence lay in his memory files. Sadness rolled through him, and he dimmed his optics in response. He missed them more than he liked to admit. They had been his entire world for all his life until the moment they were ripped away from him. When he had reached maturity, they encouraged him to stay at home with them, offering to always be there for him since they knew he would never be accepted by the outside world. He missed having that kind of unconditional acceptance and love.

He pressed his fingers against the glass of his chest plate, focusing on the gentle thrum of his cassettes' energy signals. Aside from his parents, they were the only ones to accept him in the same way. Perhaps that disconnected feeling he couldn't identify had more to do with the grief of losing them than anything else, leaving him with a fear that he'd never know that type of love again. After all, being alone in the world was how it had been from the moment they passed away. Maybe there was simply no other way to be.

"What the frag are you listening to?" Starscream's grating voice jolted Soundwave from his thoughts.

He glanced over at the SIC, standing in the doorway of the comm. room. Soundwave realized he was referring to the music currently playing, which happened to be from the mix Blaster had made for him.

"'Life on Mars' by the human singer David Bowie," Soundwave replied.

"I don't know how you stand human music. It's awful." Starscream strutted from the doorway into the room. "Here." Starscream tossed a datapad onto the computer console in front of Soundwave. "Megatron is building some device and needs you to crunch numbers for him. He wants to know how much energon it will take to power it and how many raids it will take to gather enough up."

Soundwave picked up the datapad and turned it on. Schematics for a large-scale laser cannon were displayed. He was instantly concerned. What did Megatron want with such a device? "What is the purpose of this cannon?"

"How the frag should I know? All I know is that he wants your report right away." Starscream flicked his wings in annoyance. "Treating me like some errand drone, hmph," he muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest and scowled.

Soundwave found Starscream's little tantrums somewhat amusing. Starscream had been one of the first mechs he spent time observing in order to understand how they operated and find ways to work around their behaviors. While Starscream often had some very brilliant ideas, his personality clashes would always ruin his chances to make them work. Still, he was a useful tool when properly pointed in a direction, which Soundwave had made use of in the past when he'd needed to.

"Data will be ready in three breems," Soundwave replied as he carefully placed the datapad down on the console.

"I'll go tell our illustrious leader his favorite pet is on it," Starscream sneered as he spoke. "You know, being his favorite will only make it worse for you if you ever do make him angry."

"Your concern is unfounded," Soundwave replied. Starscream's assessment was totally off. From his observations, Megatron liked having his ego stroked and by doing so, Soundwave was ensuring he remained in his good graces. Megatron would never have a reason to be angry him. He'd make sure of that.

"Who said I was concerned?" Starscream asked as he started to laugh. "I can't wait for the day you finally frag up." The seeker then haughtily strutted out of the room, apparently not interested in Soundwave's possible response.

He sat quietly for a moment staring at the empty doorway. Being the head of communications had its perks, and his extracurricular activities surrounding Blaster would go unnoticed by Megatron so long as he was careful. There wasn't anything to worry about. Soundwave smirked a little behind his mask, knowing he had it all under control.

…

_From medics to his own parents, Blaster had always been told he'd have a hard time finding someone to spend his life with. Most mechs that were interested in a serious relationship would also want to bond, which wasn't an option for him. That didn't deter Blaster, though. He refused to give up. There had to be someone out there just for him._

_He had been dating Overdrive for twelve orns. They liked the same music, shared political views, and both loved going out and having fun at the local energon pubs. Overdrive even loved to play with his cassettes. Blaster's hopes were rising with each moment he spent with Overdrive. He had great potential for being a life-long partner. _

_They walked back towards Blaster's apartment after a fun-filled evening of drinking some tasty high-grade and listening to a local band play at an energon pub they often frequented. Overdrive reached down and laced their fingers together as they walked along in comfortable silence. The night air was still and the streets virtually empty. It felt like an impenetrable bubble of happiness was wrapped around them. _

_They both came to a stop in front of Blaster's apartment building and he leaned into Overdrive's side, gazing up at him and grinning. "Comin' up?" _

_Overdrive squeezed Blaster's hand. "Yeah."_

_They rode the elevator up and ambled hand-in-hand down the corridor to his small apartment. Once inside, Blaster wrapped his arms around Overdrive's waist, hugging him while staring up into his handsome face. The slight buzz from the high-grade had started to fade, but the buzz he got from the affectionate feelings he had for Overdrive were just as intoxicating. He tipped his head forward and lightly brushed his lips against Overdrive's, who responded in kind. Their lips met and locked in a soft-mouthed kiss that quickly morphed into much more as their lips parted and glossae entwined. Primus, Blaster loved kissing, especially kissing someone as cute as Overdrive. _

_Suddenly, Overdrive broke off their kiss and leaned back. Blaster stared at him, feeling confused by abrupt end to their lovely kiss. Overdrive's lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but then he pressed them together into a hard, flat line. _

"_Why'd ya stop? It was gettin' good." Blaster offered a small smile as he spoke. _

_Overdrive reached up and lightly ran the back of fingers down Blaster's cheek. "I need to talk to you..." He paused, biting at his lower lip for a moment."It's about something I've been thinking about for a while."_

"_Oh?" Blaster canted his head, unsure if Overdrive's serious tone was a good or bad thing. _

"_Yeah. Thing is, I really like you, Blaster. A lot." Overdrive glanced away._

_Something in his tone felt off, but he wasn't sure why. "I like you a lot, too," Blaster replied, as a distinct sinking feeling suddenly hit him._

_Overdrive dimmed his optics, then took a step backward, breaking their embrace. "I-I can't keep seeing you" He winced as he spoke. "We need to end things."_

_Blaster felt his happy bubble world burst. "But, why? You just said you like me!"_

"_That's exactly why." Overdrive frowned as he tensed his posture and finally locked gazes with Blaster again. "I am falling for you."_

_Blaster shook his head in disbelief, completely confused. How could this be happening? The walls of his small apartment felt almost like they were closing in on him. "Then why the slag do you want to break up with me?"_

"_Because we'd never get past this part, you know? All we'd ever have is interfacing. As much as I enjoy my time with you, I know at some point I'll want more. I'll want…your spark." Overdrive's optics dimmed as a glossy sheen covered their surface. "I've thought about it a lot. Tried to figure out if I was strong enough to stay with you despite your spark, but I don't think I can do it." _

My spark…_ Blaster stared at Overdrive, feeling deeply hurt. How could the world could be cruel to him? Wasn't it bad enough he was barred from ever bonding? He really thought things would end differently this time and yet here he was being rejected based on his spark_ again.

"_I wish things were different, Blaster," Overdrive said as he lightly touched Blaster's cheek._

_Staring at Overdrive and seeing the regret on his face only made it all sting so much more. This mech that claimed and acted like he cared couldn't accept him as he was? "But this is who I am. Why do you have to end it now?" Blaster's voice cracked slightly._

"_I think you're amazing, but I also don't think I am the right match for you," Overdrive replied with a sad-looking frown._

_Right match? But they got along so well and had so much fun together. The only part that didn't match up was Overdrive's idealistic notion of what made a long lasting relationship possible: bonding. They could easily have a wonderful life together without that part if he'd only be more open. "Then go." _

"_Please don't be upset. I'm really sorry. I wish—"_

"I_ wish I could find someone that would accept me for who and what I am. You are obviously _not_ that mech." Blaster interrupted as he locked gazes with Overdrive. "Now, please get_ out."

_Overdrive nodded as he dimmed his optics. He quietly moved to the door and glanced back over at Blaster. "I hope you find someone someday." Blaster's apartment door then opened and shut, leaving him all alone. _

_Blaster sank down to sit on his couch, holding a hand over the center of his chest. He took some comfort from the thrumming of his cassettes in his subspace pocket as he started to cry. It was so unfair. His optimism and hope for his future happiness faded with each rejection. This was the third time Blaster had been so thoroughly let down, and he wondered if he'd really have it in him to try again. _

_He lay down on his side on the couch and started to quietly sob. _

_Was he really so unlovable? Would he live the rest of his life all alone? He prayed to Primus that wouldn't be his ultimate fate. _

o.o.o

A holoframe in Blaster's hands played images of Overdrive as he sat on the floor beside the closet space in his quarters. He had been riffling through the box looking for an old data disc of music when he came across the frame. Despite having his spark broken at the time, he had never erased the frame images. Overdrive had been his last real attempt to find someone to love him. If only it had worked out…

"Who's that?" Eject asked.

Blaster glanced over at Eject leaning against his arm and staring at the frame. "His name is Overdrive."

Eject glanced up at Blaster. "Oh. Is Jazz coming over today?"

Blaster shook his head.

"Okay." Eject ran back over to Rewind to help his brother rearrange their small city of parts.

Watching them, Blaster wondered if anyone in the entire universe could ever accept him and all his creations just as they were. Then a stray thought occurred to him: _Does Soundwave feel like this?_ Having seen Soundwave so vulnerable during their last encounter and learning just how young he was had radically altered Blaster's perception of the Decepticon. He no longer seemed like a dark foe but a fellow Cybertronian that he had a lot in common with. Blaster shook his head, knowing that was a dangerous thought.

_If anyone found out, I'd be in huge trouble. _

Blaster dropped the holoframe into the container from his closet and stared at it as the images continued to loop. It felt like all his choices in the past were huge mistakes. Perhaps keeping this secret about Soundwave was another in a long line of bad decisions. However, the connection he felt to his counterpart had been very real. Bad decision or not, Blaster almost felt like he needed someone to talk to outside his little world on the _Ark_.

He softly sighed air from his intakes in frustration.

Reaching into the container, Blaster tapped the side of the frame for the menu. He clicked 'select all images' and then pressed 'delete'. Past mistakes were in the past, where he decided they should stay. By not letting go, he'd never be able to move forward.

"I think it's finally time to move on and grow up," he quietly told himself.

…

"I'm sorry, but I'm heading to New York in a little while. I won't be able to take you to your little concert," Tracks said in his affected tone. "In fact, Skyfire is waiting for me out front."

Blaster's shoulders sank. This evening's concert was the one he had pre-planned via his gifted data disc mix to meet Soundwave at and he really didn't want to miss it. Unfortunately, his alt mode made it impossible to travel long distances without help. "But I planned on goin'. You sure you can't leave tomorrow mornin' instead?"

"I'm afraid not. Raul is expecting me there tonight so he can properly prep me for a car show competition tomorrow, _which_ I plan on winning." Tracks smiled smugly. "Perhaps you should ask Jazz."

Blaster narrowed his optics. That was a low blow, even for Tracks. "You know, sometimes you are such an a-"

"You need a ride, Blaster? I could take you," Bluestreak interrupted as he wandered over to where Blaster and Tracks were standing in the rec room. "I don't mind. In fact, it would be fun hanging out."

Blaster stared at Bluestreak. He couldn't refuse the offer without it coming off as unfriendly or possibly suspicious. Tracks never wanted to stick around for the raucous music, which is why he was the ideal ride for Blaster's planned rendezvous with Soundwave. If he went with Bluestreak instead, he'd never get an opening to slip away. Caught between what he wanted and keeping his secret, he felt he had no choice. "Yeah. Okay, Blue. Thanks."

"See? Now you not only have a ride, but someone to see the concert with." Tracks smirked, then strutted off, leaving Blaster standing with Bluestreak.

"It'll be fun. I've always wanted to go with you and Jazz, but it seemed like something the two of you liked to do together, so I never asked. This really worked out, didn't it? Good thing I was walking by." Bluestreak smiled brightly at Blaster.

"You really have amazing timin', Blue." Blaster forced a smile to his lips. This was not how he had planned things to go.

"What time is the concert?" Bluestreak asked.

"At 7 pm," Blaster replied.

"Oh, should we get going then?" Bluestreak's doorwings perked up.

"Yeah, we probably should."

A short time later, Blaster sat in his alt mode inside Bluestreak's cloth interior as they made their way to the concert arena. Bluestreak prattled on about all sorts of things and Blaster would reply now and again, but mostly he was trying to figure out a way to get a moment alone to seek out Soundwave. Nothing was coming to mind, though.

"We're here!" Bluestreak announced as he came to a stop and opened the driver's side door.

Blaster transformed as he hopped out of the seat, landing on his feet beside Bluestreak as he too transformed. They locked gazes once they were both in robot mode, and Bluestreak grinned. "So which way?"

Blaster offered a small smile in return. "Up in back, so we don't block the view for the humans."

"Sounds good; lead the way!" Bluestreak practically beamed, clearly excited to hang out with Blaster.

A pang of guilt then hit Blaster over wanting to somehow ditch Bluestreak in order to meet up with a Soundwave.

They took seats on the hillside just above the back row of seating for humans. During the opening act performances, the nearby humans struck up a conversation with Bluestreak. The entire time they chatted, Blaster kept looking around, scanning the area behind them for Soundwave in the waning sunlight.

The sharp angle of the sun made all the plants' shadows look long, and the colors were intensified from its deep orangey glow. After several minutes of looking around, Blaster still hadn't spied his counterpart. Had he seen Blaster with another Autobot and left? Would they not get another chance to talk?

"You okay?" Bluestreak asked as he lightly touched Blaster's upper arm.

Blaster glanced back at Bluestreak, realizing he was done talking to the humans. "Yeah, I'm totally cool."

Bluestreak looked unconvinced, glancing over his shoulder at the hillside behind them where Blaster had been staring a moment before. "You see something?"

"Nah," Blaster replied.

"Oh." Bluestreak canted his head as he shifted his attention back to Blaster. "You seem like maybe you don't want to be here with me. Is it because I'm not Jazz?"

"Aww, Blue, no way. I'm glad you came. Seriously." Blaster forced himself to make the biggest smile he could.

Bluestreak's doorwings twitched, then he smiled back. "Okay. I know I might not be fun like Jazz, but I'm really happy to be here with you."

Blaster's faked smile softened into a genuine one. Bluestreak was so incredibly kind-sparked. "Trust me, you're fun to hang out with."

Bluestreak's optics shined brightly. "Really?"

"Really."

The main act entered the stage, and a blast of music hit the arena, causing the crowd to go wild. They both fixed their gazes on the band as they started in on their first song, which echoed throughout the arena.

"Wooow," Bluestreak said with awe.

Just then, what felt like a piece of metal thunked against Blaster's thigh. He looked down to see a small data disc on the ground beside him and quickly picked it up, sliding it into his personal subspace pocket. Fortunately, Bluestreak was so enthralled with the band's playing he didn't notice. Blaster glanced up to see the distinct shape of Laserbeak disappear into the now shadowed hillside landscape.

In the distance, Blaster saw a glint of red light flash then disappear. _Soundwave…_

He had missed his chance. Would he get another one? Maybe the disc could answer that question. He'd have to wait until he was back on base to find out, though.

"This is so cool!" Bluestreak said excitedly.

"Glad ya like the band," Blaster replied with a little laugh.

"I do!"

The remainder of the concert they sat side by side, watching and listening to the charged performance below. As much as Blaster loved this particular band, he felt his enjoyment being tainted by disappointment. It occurred to him then just how much he had been looking forward to seeing Soundwave again. There had been something really nice about stepping out of his usual place in the war for a little while to connect with someone he truly had something in common with. _I wonder if Soundwave was disappointed, too?_

Eventually the concert came to an end, and Blaster was once again riding in the driver's seat of Bluestreak's interior answering a long string of questions the young sharpshooter asked about the band they had seen play. He hoped they could get back soon so he could see what was on the disc Soundwave dropped for him. The anticipation of not knowing was making him antsy. If he hadn't been in his alt mode, he knew he'd be fidgeting like crazy. They finally came to a stop and Bluestreak swung open his door, allowing Blaster out.

Looking out over the now moonlit landscape, Blaster realized that Bluestreak had stopped some distance away from the _Ark_. He frowned, trying to figure out why they hadn't driven up to the entrance area when he felt Bluestreak take hold of his hand and lace their fingers together. Surprised, he swiveled his head around, coming face to face with Bluestreak, who nervously smiled at him.

"Um. I…" Bluestreak averted his gaze downward.

Bluestreak at a loss for words? And what was with holding his hand? Then it hit Blaster like a bomb blast: _Bluestreak likes me?_

"I had a good time, Blaster." Bluestreak glanced up and bit at his lower lip.

"Me, too. But, ah, Blue—"

"Really? Cause thing is, I was hoping maybe we could hang out more. Maybe even, you know…" Bluestreak leaned closer, his optics dimming as he gazed deeply into Blaster's optics. "Do you think it would be all right if I kiss you?"

Caught off guard, Blaster wasn't sure how to react. He had never thought of Bluestreak this way before. He was handsome, sweet, and caring, though. Maybe it could work? "O-okay," Blaster nervously replied.

Warmth spread over his lips, and for the first time in a very, very long time Blaster found himself kissing another mech again. Part of him craved what Bluestreak was offering: another chance to be loved. But the other part of him was screaming to stop this now before he was hurt all over again.

Bluestreak's free hand took firm hold of Blaster's waist as he gently parted his lips. Blaster responded in kind, allowing their glossae to meet and entwine. He ignored the internal voice telling him to stop and deepened their kiss by flicking his glossa inside the heated space of Bluestreak's mouth. Then, the most out of place thought crossed his mind: _But I wanna know what's on the disc from Soundwave…_

He leaned back, breaking their kiss.

"You okay? Did I do something wrong?" Bluestreak asked, his optics surging brightly.

Blaster met the concerned gaze and shook his head. "No, no! But ah, I think maybe this should go a little slower." _Soundwave's disc is the last thing I should be thinking about right now. What the frag is wrong with me?_

"Oh, I get that. I've never even met your cassettes, and I know they are important to you. Maybe we can hang out, and I could meet them?" Bluestreak sounded so hopeful.

"Yeah, we could do that. I think I need to call it a night for now, though." Blaster glanced down at Bluestreak's hand on his waist. No one had touched him like this in so long, and yet he wasn't having that same yearning desire he remembered having when Overdrive touched him.

Bluestreak gave him one last squeeze then pulled away his hand. "Is it okay if I hold your hand until we get closer to the entrance?"

"Yeah, sure," Blaster replied, smiling.

His whole adult life Blaster had been looking for someone to love him, and from the outside Bluestreak seemed like a really good choice. He was kind-sparked and sweet. Blaster was also sure his cassettes would like him.

Still, something about this sudden turn in events wasn't clicking the way he felt like it should. As nice as that kiss had been, it lacked a true 'sparked' feeling. Even the fiery passion he remembered having when he'd kissed Overdrive hadn't been there at all. Maybe it would just take some time to get to know Bluestreak better in order to build some stronger feelings for him.

He glanced over, seeing a huge, goofy grin plastered across Bluestreak's face.

Or maybe he wasn't having those feelings because Bluestreak just _wasn't _the one for him…

_Fraggit. Why do I always make such colossal mistakes_?

…

Frenzy carefully set down an open container of energon on the floor of their quarters. Ravage meandered over and started to drink the liquid fuel. He glanced at his brother as he set out a similar container for Laserbeak.

Soundwave was currently on shift and had left them all together in the room, which he did as often as possible. Soundwave disliked how Megatron used them, and so when their illustrious leader wasn't around he'd have them stay together in their quarters. Earlier in the day, Megatron had taken a trip to Cybertron and wasn't scheduled to be back for a while.

Taking care of Ravage and Laserbeak was fun for Frenzy. It reminded him of what life had been like before the war killed his creator and other sibling-cassettes. Frenzy softly sighed air from his intakes as he remembered his last moments with their creator. He had put them in a large metal box just as the explosions started rocking the small neighborhood they lived in. Frenzy remembered how scared he was, how worried for the others he felt, and how he and Rumble had hugged each other tightly. The box they had been placed in then violently jolted to one side, and Frenzy had slammed his head into the thick metal wall of their container. After that, everything went black, and he'd passed out. When he came to, the first thing he saw was Soundwave. Everything changed after that.

Sharp waves of anger spiked through the bond he shared with Rumble, interrupting his thoughts and sad memories. The bond he shared with his brother was relatively strong, and the full force of Rumble's moods easily passed over it.

"What's yer problem?" Frenzy finally asked, annoyed at being forced to endure his brother's bad mood.

"Nothin'." Rumble stalked over to the game console and slammed his fist down to turn it on.

"Hey! Don't break it!" Frenzy scolded.

"Whatever." Rumble plopped down on the floor and sat waiting for the game to start up.

Unwilling to take his sour mood a moment longer, Frenzy walked over and stood between Rumble and the monitor. "What the frag is yer problem?"

Rumble deeply frowned. "Nothin'. Now move it!"

"No!"

The next thing he knew they were rolling around on the floor punching at one another. Being equally matched, Frenzy knew he couldn't end the fight unless he managed to tip the odds in his favor, so he rolled them toward where the berth sat in the center of the small room and pinned Rumble against its base.

"Get the frag off me!" Rumble yelled.

"Stop being such a little aft, and maybe I will!"

Frenzy retracted his visor, and narrowed his red optics. Their visors were mods Soundwave gave them so they would have the same extra sensory information that his visor provided him. They both really liked them, especially since it made them look more like their adopted caretaker.

Rumble's visor retracted, revealing his bright red optics. "Let go of me."

"Not until you stop being an aft." Frenzy frowned, frustrated with his brother's defiance.

"Like that's ever gonna happen. We'll be stuck here forever! But fine with me if that's what you want!" Rumble halfheartedly struggled against the hold he was in.

"Just tell me what's got you in such a bad mood."

"The Big Guy is headin' out _again_ this afternoon," Rumble said in a venomous tone.

"So?" Frenzy then glanced up to see Ravage was watching the two of them, while Laserbeak was sitting on the desk ignoring the melee below.

"So? _So?_ Don't you see what's _happenin'?_ Sneaking off to see that Autobrat spells trouble for all of us." Rumble stopped struggling as suspicion and worry crossed their bond instead of anger.

"But that Autobot guy is like him. You can't blame the Big Guy for wanting to talk to him. Our creator used to have dual-sparked mechs over sometimes. It's just what they do." Frenzy didn't quite track where his brother's suspicion was coming from.

"Come on, Frenzy. Think about it for a second. He tried to go see him last night, and there was another Auto-idiot with him, so what does he do? Drop a disc with info and a time to meet _today?_ He's totally obsessin'! What if talkin' turns into somethin' else?" Rumble asked as he frowned.

Frenzy let go of Rumble and shifted to sit up. His brother remained lying on the floor staring up at him. "So what if it does?" Frenzy asked.

Rumble rolled to sit up and leaned into Frenzy's space. "Then we're all fragged, you moron!"

Truth was, Frenzy was glad to see Soundwave take a genuine interest in another mech. Choosing an Autobot to hang out with was certainly dangerous, but he trusted Soundwave. He had protected them, and they had returned the favor, looking out for him when he needed it. They were an unstoppable unit when they worked together, and Frenzy highly doubted Soundwave would ever willingly put them in danger. "You're being paranoid."

"Am I?" Rumble frowned as he sat back on his heels and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I see what you're saying, but, Rumble, we _can't_ be everything for him. He's not the kid that we first met anymore. And who better for him than someone like another dual-pulse?" Frenzy watched his brother's posture slump slightly. "You know I'm right. Up until now he's just been treating everyone aside from us like test subjects. He's not acting like that this time. Maybe they'll get to be more than friends, too. Then we'd have a ton of other creations to hang out with. That'd be cool."

Rumble reached up and slapped the side of Frenzy's head. "You fraggin' idiot! That would never happen, not in a million-billion stellar cycles! The moment Megs gets wind of the Big Guy hanging out with an Autobrat, we're all gonna be scrapped!"

"Fraggit! Don't hit me!" Frenzy rubbed at his helm and deeply frowned at his brother. He realized that they were both right. Soundwave needed someone in his life aside from them, but if that someone was an Autobot, they were definitely in danger. "Rumble…what do we do then?"

"Nothin', for now." Rumble got up and wandered back to the game console. "I need to think. You should, too. We gotta try and figure out how end this thing."

Frenzy stared at his brother as he sat down and started to play Frogger.

'_End this thing.' _

He knew Rumble meant to end the possibly budding relationship between Soundwave and the Autobot, but he wondered if maybe they should think bigger. Like end the war itself so that they could have a real life again. He was honestly sick of fighting and worrying all the time. It really would be nice if they could finally have some stability for once.

He smiled a little as he remembered their home with their creator and his partner. A home with loads of other cassettes to play with, and they'd never wanted for anything. Frenzy realized just how much he wanted that kind of life again.

_Maybe we _can_ have that life… if we come up with a good plan and work together._

They just needed to think _big._

_

* * *

A/N- I am working on chapter 5. Hope to give it to my lovely betas soon! Thanks for all the favs and your thoughtful reviews. I hope you continue to enjoy this fic as much as I am enjoying writing it!  
_


	5. Redefining Lines

Title: Everything Will Change: Redefining Lines

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

Notes: Soundwave has done what he has to in order to survive in a warrior's world, while Blaster wonders if he'll ever find love. Circumstances soon alter their perceptions of the world and what they expect from life.

_This story was inspired by several fics. The one influencing the start of this story is 'Imperium in Imperio' by Mirage Shinkiro. I will list other fics as the chapters move forward._

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

Title taken from the song "Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service.

* * *

The previous evening had been a disaster of epic proportions, and now everything felt like it was spinning out of Blaster's control.

He had onlined in the morning to the memory file of kissing Bluestreak, and winced at his poor decision. After a night's recharge, he knew in his spark he didn't have deeper feelings for Bluestreak. Not sustainable ones, anyway. In the short term he might get some of the affection he craved, but the last thing he ever wanted to do was use someone like that, especially someone as sweet as Bluestreak.

There was also the matter of the contents of the data disc. Eager to know what was on it, he had popped it into his personal computer console as soon as he returned to his quarters after the kissing incident. Soundwave had left a time stamp and coordinates for a meet-up in the afternoon. Apparently he was anxious to see Blaster sooner rather than later. It was pure luck, or possibly fate, that today happened to be Blaster's day off in the shift rotation. Still, why was Soundwave in such a hurry to see him after their failure to meet last night? Blaster started to wonder if he was getting in way over his head by continuing to try and see Soundwave in secret.

Between the realization that he didn't have strong feelings for Bluestreak and his secret meetings with Soundwave, Blaster felt totally overwhelmed by anxiety and guilt.

_What a fragging mess, _he thought as he slowly walked down the hallway toward the barracks.

Then there was the whole Jazz issue.

It had been a little over a week since their last conversation. The other issues in Blaster's life had put into sharp focus how much he missed having Jazz to talk to.

He had barely looked up, too lost in his swirling thoughts, as he walked from the rec room to his intended destination. He came to a stop and stood staring at the closed door in front of him. In light of everything else going on, he had come to the decision that he wanted at least _one _thing in his life to be stable again.

He wanted his best friend back.

Rallying his courage to follow through, he pressed the buzzer. The door slid open, revealing Jazz lying on his couch while tapping his foot against the end armrest in time with the upbeat music that was playing. He gazed at Jazz for a moment, noticing his visor was dark.

"Hey, Jazz."

The visor immediately lit, and Jazz practically fell off the couch as he scrambled to sit up and fumbled with the remote to lower the volume. "Blaster! Hey."

By Jazz's reaction, Blaster figured he had been expecting someone else, probably Prowl. "You busy?"

"Nah! Come on in." Jazz motioned to Blaster.

He walked into the somewhat cluttered space. Jazz liked to collect things, and it showed. Items from all over the galaxy sat crowded together on his shelves and were strewn across his desk. On the floor beside the couch sat a couple piles of datapads as well as a container overflowing with data discs.

"Have a seat, man," Jazz said with a small, reserved-looking smile.

Blaster pulled out the desk chair and sat down. He had been thinking about what he was going to say to Jazz for a while, but now that he was here, it felt like the words he had mentally rehearsed were inadequate. He stared at Jazz, then let a gust of air escape his intakes. "Primus, I don't even know where to start."

Jazz canted his head to one side. "Wherever you like."

Blaster frowned. "I feel like I totally fragged everythin' up."

Jazz shook his head. "Nah. We just had a lil' communication break down. It happens from time to time."

"I guess I should have told you how I felt. I just…I've been burned badly before." Blaster realized just how much his past was affecting him now. If only he could somehow erase all the painful rejections he'd already endured, then maybe he wouldn't have gotten so upset with Jazz.

Jazz's visor dimmed. "I really had no idea ya felt that strongly fer me. Ya tend to hide stuff, so it can be hard to tell what's goin' on in yer head sometimes."

Blaster couldn't argue with that. He did hide a lot of his feelings, but it had become a knee-jerk reaction to being hurt so much. "I know. Thing is, I've been treated differently my whole life. Keepin' stuff hidden made it easier to fit in. I was pretty happy livin' that way. Well, until _recently_."

Jazz sadly smiled. "Heh, that's 'cause ya need to be accepted for who you are. _Everyone _does. I do get why it's hard fer ya, though."

Blaster's thoughts wandered back to the tangled mess he was in. Perhaps his lack of feelings for Bluestreak stemmed from a desire to protect himself from being rejected again. And yet, he was willing to risk everything just to talk to Soundwave. Frowning, he realized really _did_ want acceptance, and was seeking it from a fellow dual-pulse sparked mech, even if he was a Deception.

"You okay?" Jazz asked.

"Yeah…well no." Blaster glanced down at his hands in his lap. He couldn't tell anyone about Soundwave, not even Jazz. "Look, I'm sorry about how I reacted. I should've been more up front about how I felt." Blaster looked up and offered Jazz a small smile. "So, you think that maybe can we go back to bein' friends?"

"You really over yer feelings fer me?" Jazz asked.

All of Blaster's fantasies surrounding a future life with Jazz had lost their former luster, and Blaster knew he was willing to let them go completely in exchange for a friendship that had come to mean so much to him. "I am."

Jazz grinned. "Then, of course!"

Blaster smiled. "That was easier than I thought it would be."

"Hey, we're all gonna make mistakes. I said some purdy stupid things that hurt ya and I am super sorry about that. But thing is, good friends forgive." Jazz reached over and put his hand on Blaster's forearm and gave it a little squeeze.

Blaster put his hand over Jazz's. "Thanks, Jazz."

"Sure thing." Jazz pulled away and leaned back against his couch. "So I heard through the grapevine you and Blue had an interestin' evenin'."

Surprised, Blaster's optics brightened. "How did you know that?"

"Blue told Prowl." Jazz's visor dimmed as he half smiled. "So what's up with that?"

Blaster's posture sank. "I excel at being stupid?"

Jazz laughed a little. "I take it yer not into him like how he's into you?"

"Yeah. I was totally taken off guard, and it's been a zillion stellar cycles since anyone actually _wanted_ to kiss me." Blaster shook his head at his own bad behavior. "I should have stopped it, but I didn't."

"How was it?" Jazz asked with a huge grin. "I always wondered if Blue was a good kisser."

"Not that I like kissin' and tellin', but I will admit it was nice. I just didn't feel that, I dunno, _excited _feeling." Blaster frowned.

"Hmmm." Jazz glanced down for a moment. "Maybe ya just need some time to get to know him in that way." Jazz glanced back up. "'Cause, ya know, it took me quite a while before I finally had that little spark dance around Prowl."

"Spark dance?" Blaster asked.

"Yeah, you know, 'spark flutter'. When a spark chooses a bondmate and all that jazz."

Leaning back in his seat, Blaster fingered his thigh paneling. "My spark isn't like yours. I don't think it can do that."

"Why not? Sparks are sparks, man." Jazz lightly tapped the center of his chestplate. "Yours might be different, but that doesn't mean it won't choose someone."

"Maybe." Blaster vividly remembered when his parents had 'The Talk' with his older brothers about sparks and bonding. He was much younger than they were at the time, but listened intently while they explained to his siblings that one day when their sparks reacted a certain way to another mech or femme it meant they were taking the first steps down the winding road of courtship that would eventually lead to bonding. A road Blaster knew he wasn't allowed down.

"Well, if ya really don't think there's a future fer you and Blue, I'd say it's best to let 'im down sooner rather than later." Jazz's smile faded to his more serious expression.

"I know." Blaster nodded his head. "I was going to tell him after his shift." He didn't relish the fact he was going to have to hurt Bluestreak's feelings, but at the same time he needed to put the brakes on things now before it got any more out of control.

Jazz sat forward and patted Blaster's arm. "Hey, if it goes badly, stop by here and we'll hang out for a while. 'Kay?"

Blaster nodded. "'Kay."

Gazing at Jazz, Blaster was grateful that at least one thing was finally back on track again. Now to deal with the rest of it.

…

_Peering around the corner, Soundwave silently spied on his fathers standing in the middle of the main living area of their home. As youngling, Soundwave was starting to fully understand the ramifications of having his unusual spark. At home he was treated like any other youngling would be, but when he would venture out into the world he was made painfully aware of how different he was from everyone else. Other younglings stayed away from him and adults would often whisper and stare at him. _

"_You can't keep doing this to yourself, Harmony. We didn't know."_

"_I should have known!" Harmony softly sobbed as he curled into Distortion's hold._

"_He'll be fine. He's got us." Distortion spoke in a gentle, calming voice, but it didn't seem to help._

_Soundwave had taken a trip with his father, Harmony, earlier to do some shopping, but their fun outing ended the same way their trips downtown always seem to end: with someone making a derisive comment about Soundwave and his spark. _

"_Each time we go out, it's the same thing. And it breaks my spark to see him exposed to everyone and their cruelty. So what's the solution? Keep him locked up here forever? We won't live forever, Distortion! What happens when we are gone?"_

_His father, Distortion, hugged Harmony close. "I hate seeing you so upset."_

"_I hate seeing them be mean to Soundwave. He doesn't deserve it," Harmony replied as he pressed his face into the crook of his other father's neck. They stood quietly together for a long moment. _

_Soundwave didn't like the negative attention, but at the same time he had grown to expect it. What bothered him more about being ridiculed in public was his father's reaction to it. His father always blamed himself and that was far more painful for Soundwave than it was to listen to some stranger's unsolicited judgment. _

"_He'll never know what this feels like, either." Harmony twisted his head to place a soft kiss to Distortion's chin. "To have someone hold him when he's upset. To have someone to be close to. Doesn't that eat at your spark? Knowing we did this to him? That I didn't fragging notice until it was too late?"_

"_Harmony, you are being way too hard on yourself. We made a mistake, that's all. Besides, Soundwave is perfect as he is. Just because he's different doesn't mean he's doomed." Distortion leaned back a little and gently tipped Harmony's chin up with his fingertips so they could look into one another's optics. "Now you're breaking my spark with that sad look." He leaned forward and the two lightly kissed._

_A small smile curved Harmony's lips after the brief kiss. "I love you."_

"_And I love you, too. Now let's just concentrate on making this a happy home for Soundwave and us. Okay?"_

_Harmony nodded. "Okay."_

_The weighty truth of his father's words settled in Soundwave's mind. The love his parents shared was a love he would never know. He wondered what it felt like for them. He could see it, but he couldn't really understand it. Perhaps by never having it, he simply wouldn't miss it. He nodded to himself, deciding that was probably the best scenario, anyway. Despite how his parents treated him, he knew that he would never be like them. His unique spark meant his life would end up nothing like theirs and the only type of love he'd feel is kind his parents offered to him. _

_He silently watched his fathers hug one another close, offering each other comfort. He hated being the source of pain for them, but he also knew it was out of his control. The best thing he could do to cope was control what he could in his world. At that moment, he decided he wouldn't leave their home again except to visit the medical center. That way it would minimize the pain for all of them. _

o.o.o

Oddly, the last few nights of recharges had been fraught with old memory files surfacing. Soundwave mulled over the most recent one as he finished up his report on the most recent communications surveillance.

His fathers had tried so hard to protect him. They did the best they could under the circumstances, but Soundwave knew his spark condition would always set him apart from everyone else. His father's words echoed through his processor: '_He'll never know what this feels like, either… To have someone hold him when he's upset. To have someone to be close to.' _Staring down at his hands, he wondered what was so appealing about being held or holding someone. Being hugged by his parents had been comforting. Perhaps it was a similar sensation? He frowned behind his mask, knowing that was something impossible for him to experience and that it was best not to waste energy thinking about it.

Soundwave refocused on the screen in front of him, finished filing his report, and then logged off the computer terminal. His shift was over, and now he needed to prepare for his afternoon rendezvous with Blaster.

Seeing Blaster with the other Autobot the previous night had been deeply disappointing. He hoped that his counterpart hadn't intended for the unexpected tag-a-long, but whether he did or not didn't change how let down Soundwave had been by the change in plans. He had been looking forward to another moment alone with Blaster. There were so many questions he still wanted answered, including new questions like why had Blaster's touch made his plating tingle? He theorized it was because his body was in distress from the budding sparklet, but without proof he couldn't be sure.

A small swell of excitement rippled through him. He was looking forward to some time alone with Blaster and an uninterrupted opportunity to ask more questions and work on building trust. This was assuming his counterpart could make the appointed time…

…

After returning to his quarters, Soundwave worked on another playlist to give Blaster, this time creating more of a mixture of different types of music he enjoyed. Once he finished, Soundwave slipped a data disc into his personal subspace pocket and stood up from his desk and computer console, turning to face his cassettes.

His gaze landed on the brothers who had been unusually quiet since he returned. Rumble was playing with the video game console while Frenzy sat silently beside him. Usually they played a two-player game or else egged each other on as they took turns playing a single player one. Instead they were being eerily quiet and Frenzy wasn't playing at all.

"I must leave now. Ravage, Laserbeak, return." Soundwave's chest opened and both his cassettes complied, transforming and sliding into place. He closed his chest plate and glanced back at Rumble and Frenzy. They hadn't even acknowledged his statement. Typically they would respond. Something was definitely amiss. "Rumble, Frenzy please monitor communications in my absence."

"Whatever," Rumble replied in a flat-sounding tone.

Soundwave frowned behind his mask. "Did an issue arise during my shift that should be addressed?"

Frenzy finally looked over at Soundwave, shaking his head. "No."

"Your behavior indicates other-" Soundwave winced as a sharp pain radiated through his spark. Up until now, his bouts of spark pain from the budding sparklet had happened while he was alone or his cassettes were stored in his subspace pocket. He quickly grabbed hold of the desk behind him with one hand, and sat on the edge of it as he grasped at the glassy portion of his chest with the other hand.

A light touch to his leg came as a surprise, and he jerked slightly before he looked down to see a very worried expression on Frenzy's face. "What's the matter?"

For a moment, he tried to think of a viable excuse that the brothers might buy, but quickly realized that they knew him too well to believe any of the excuses that came to mind. He decided it was finally time to reveal his secret to them. "My spark has a budding sparklet."

Frenzy's visor retracted, revealing his overly bright optics. "Holy frag! How far along is it? Wait, you should lie down!"

Rumble abandoned his seat and wandered closer but remained quiet.

"I do not have time to rest," Soundwave replied. The pain had been sharp, but it was already fading away. He stopped clutching his chest and reached down to rest his hand on Frenzy's helm. "There is no need to worry."

"I don't think it's a good idea to go out now. What if it hurts ya again while you're away?" Frenzy's small hands took firm hold of Soundwave's leg. "Or while yer flying?"

"I will be fine." Soundwave hated that his damaged vocalizer made it impossible to show that he was trying to offer verbal comfort to Frenzy. He lightly stoked his small helm in an attempt to physically express his desire to reassure him instead.

Frenzy frowned at Soundwave, then swiveled his head to look at his brother. "Tell him to stay!"

Rumble crossed his arms over his chest. "You should stay. And not just 'cause yer carryin' a sparklet."

Soundwave canted his head. "What is the other reason?"

"This whole thing about seein'—" Rumble suddenly snapped his mouth shut, and shifted his focus to Frenzy. "Ugh! Never mind!"

Time was starting to run short, and as much as Soundwave wanted to get to the bottom of the mysterious behavior Rumble and Frenzy were exhibiting, he simply didn't have the time to spare. "We will finish this discussion when I return."

Frenzy looked back up at him, a frown marring his face. "Be _really_ careful!"

Having lost their creator, Soundwave had never imagined the brothers would accept, let alone become attached to, someone who didn't even share an energy signal with them. But evidently they cared quite a bit for Soundwave. "I promise."

…

Making his way down the hallway, Blaster carried two energon cubes in his hands intended for his cassettes once he got back to his quarters. He needed to get them fueled, then put away in the recharging unit so he could make his way out to the rendezvous point to see Soundwave. He picked up his pace, knowing he was running short on time.

Rounding the corner to the barracks, he nearly collided with Sunstreaker.

"Whoa! Hey there! Almost smashed into each other," Blaster said, immediately slipping into his happy-go-lucky mask and smiling up at the tall warrior.

Sunstreaker's lips curved into a deep frown and he remained mute, glaring at Blaster.

"Uhh…So what's up?" Blaster asked, unsure what to make of the dark look on Sunstreaker's face.

A yellow hand swooped down and plucked one of the cubes of energon out of Blaster's grasp. He examined it, then refocused his glare on Blaster. "I was actually looking for you."

"You were?" Blaster asked.

Sunstreaker nodded. "We have something in common, ya know." The warrior's gaze bounced back to the cube in his hand. "This is for your lil' cassettes, right?" Sunstreaker asked, holding the cube up and out of Blaster's reach.

Blaster's smile faltered. "Yeah." Concern mixed with his uneasiness. Sunstreaker's tone was dark, even for him.

Sunstreaker grabbed Blaster's shoulder with his free hand and jerked him closer. He then bent so far forward that their noses almost touched. "You aren't the only one with a cursed spark around here." Sunstreaker's optics narrowed. "Me and Sides can't bond, either."

Twins. Blaster knew that due to splitting they had come into the world with a bond already in place, making it impossible to bond to anyone else.

"See, Sides has had a thing for Blue for a while. But because we can't bond, he never said anything. Then you fragging swoop in and steal Blue away just like that? I'm telling you now: _break it off_." Sunstreaker's demeanor grew more menacing with each word.

Not willing to be bullied, Blaster narrowed his optics too. "It's really none of your business, but Blue kissed _me_. And I'm sorry you can't bond, but at least you won't kill your potential partners and can still share sparks." Blaster's words came out in more of a biting tone than he intended, but he held fast to them anyway, refusing to back down from the much larger warrior.

Sunstreaker pulled back a little and his frown softened. "He kissed you, hm?"

"Yeah." Blaster glanced at the energon cube still in Sunstreaker's grasp. "Can I have that back now?"

The cube was shoved into Blaster's arms as Sunstreaker let go and pushed past him in the hallway, sauntering away.

Blaster watched his form grow smaller as he walked away then disappear around a corner. Rumors were already flying around, inaccurate ones. Shaking his head at himself, he knew he needed to be sure to deal with Bluestreak this evening, no matter how unpleasant the thought of hurting him was. The quicker he fixed his mistake, the better for everyone.

…

The sky was nearly cloudless as Soundwave flew toward his destination point a few miles away from the Autobot base. There was the blind spot in their surveillance directly behind the mountain that their ship lay partially entombed in. Within that area he could get close enough that Blaster shouldn't need a ride from his comrades.

He was distracted as he made his way to see Blaster, though. His thoughts centered on how oddly Rumble and Frenzy had acted. They obviously cared about him, but they were also upset about something they weren't willing to tell him. Without a spark connection to them, he couldn't be sure how serious the issue really was and if he should be concerned. Hopefully a stern talk with them later would yield a better answer. Then there was the situation of the budding sparklet. So far he had been able to keep it secret, but as it started to reach the end stages of development he knew it was going to cause him pain more frequently and most likely happen at inopportune moments. There wasn't anything he could do about it, unfortunately. He would simply need to bear the pain as best as he could and still tend his assigned duties and hope it detached and reabsorbed quickly when its time came.

A flash of light in the sky suddenly caught Soundwave's attention, interrupting his thoughts and causing him to slow down. Using his visor, he zoomed in to see if it was an Autobot or possibly a human plane. Red, blue and silver against a larger white metallic object came into focus, and Soundwave halted mid-air.

Flipping through various visual filters he sharply focused on a pair of fliers with their lips locked together: _Starscream and Skyfire._

This was an interesting bit of intelligence to stumble across. It also might prove to be useful at a later date if he recorded some footage of them.

"Laserbeak: Eject."

His cassette transformed mid-air and swooped around Soundwave's position. He could feel over their thin bond just how happy it made Laserbeak to be allowed to fly around in the open sky.

Soundwave smiled a little behind his mask. He stretched out his arm and Laserbeak responded to unspoken cue, landing on the offered perch. Extending the wire from the wrist on his opposite hand, he plugged into a port on Laserbeak's side and looped the feed from his visor back to Laserbeak to record. All the time he had spent on mods for all the cassettes really did have their moments of paying off. Once he had captured several astroseconds of footage he unplugged their connection and opened his chest for Laserbeak to return. Hesitancy laced through their bond. "Blaster will find your presence disconcerting. Please return."

Laserbeak did as he asked, transforming and sliding back into Soundwave's special subspace pocket. He flexed his fingers against the closed glass of his chest and made a mental note to take Laserbeak out later so he could spend some time flying around. He couldn't offer much when it came to indulging his cassettes, but he did what little things he could for them.

He gave the glittering jets in the distance one last look before resuming his course. After all, he didn't want to be late.

Arriving at the coordinates, he found Blaster was already there, sitting on an outcropping of rock with his head propped up on his hand a small frown marring his face. Soundwave landed a few paces away, suddenly feeling uneasy. With the proximity to the Autobot base and the upset expression Blaster wore, he couldn't be sure that he wouldn't be ambushed. "You are early."

Blaster straightened his posture and half-smiled. "Wasn't sure how long it would take to walk out here, so I gave myself extra time."

"That sounds logical." Soundwave's gaze bounced around the surrounding terrain. Trees, bushes, and rocks comprised an olive and brown colored scene that stretched all the way toward the mountain in the distance. At the time, picking a location close to the Autobot base seemed like a good idea, but now that he was here he couldn't deny he felt uneasy.

"I was honestly a little surprised you wanted to see me so soon," Blaster said as he leaned backward, propping himself up with arms.

Aesthetics were hardly a concern for Soundwave, but something about Blaster's posture struck him as intriguing. He found himself staring at the curved shape his counterpart's relaxed posture created, although he wasn't sure why. "Waiting another orn to see you again was … unsatisfactory."

Blaster snorted a little laugh. "You're pretty funny."

"Funny?" Soundwave faintly tilted his head, unsure of he should be offended by the remark or not.

Blaster's lips curved into a small, genuine-looking smile. "I didn't want to wait, either."

A warm sensation emitted from Soundwave's spark in response to his counterpart's words and smile, which radiated outward. Concerned by a physical reaction to a non-physical interaction, he looked down and he touched his chest. Why was his spark acting so oddly?

"You okay? Is the sparklet actin' up?" Blaster asked as he sat forward.

"No." Soundwave glanced back at Blaster, his gaze locking on the brilliant blue optics that were watching him with so much concern.

"You sure?"

Soundwave nodded.

Blaster raised an optic ridge. "You don't seem too sure."

Soundwave tensed his posture. "There is no need to concern yourself with my condition."

Rearing back a little, a hurt look crossed Blaster's face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be nosy. I just—eh, never mind." He looked away, his frown returning in full force.

_Frag_. Soundwave winced behind his mask as he realized just how ingrained his habit of pushing others away really was. Hardly anyone around him showed an interest in his well-being, and oftentimes when they did, they were fishing for something. He doubted Blaster was motivated by such selfish intentions, though, and wanted to quickly mend the rift he had unintentionally created.

"I apologize," Soundwave said as he relaxed his hands arms at his sides. "Forging a friendship is a new experience that I am still adjusting to."

Blaster looked back over at him, his optics surging brightly. "Friendship?"

A nervous feeling fluttered through Soundwave's fuel tank. That had been his objective from the start. Did Blaster not want the same thing? If he didn't, then why was he here? "Your objective differs?"

The frown on Blaster's face converted back to a small smile. "Guess I wasn't thinkin' of objectives. That's what you want from me? To be friends?"

Soundwave nodded. "Is that not a shared goal?"

Blaster scooted over on the rock and patted the open space beside him. "Sit."

Confused, Soundwave didn't move. "You did not answer my query."

"I _do _want to be friends with you." Blaster's optics dimmed. "So start by sittin' down with me."

Soundwave tentatively moved closer and took a seat beside Blaster on the large piece of hard rock, but his posture remained uncomfortably rigid. Neither said anything for what felt like an eon of time. Glancing over, Soundwave noticed a pensive look had taken over Blaster's expression. "You appear upset. I hope that I am not the source."

Blaster shifted his gaze back to Soundwave, his blue optics brightening a little. "I'm not upset with you or anything. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Is that the explanation for the frown when I arrived?" Soundwave asked.

"I was frowning?" Blaster half-smiled. "Heh. Yeah, I guess so. I did somethin' incredibly dumb last night and I am not looking forward to dealing with the fallout from it later."

"I see." Soundwave wanted to know more, but didn't want to pry. He was used to gathering information from listening in on other's conversations, not being involved in one himself. He had no idea how to go about asking.

"So, anyway. Friends. You do realize how crazy that sounds, right?" Blaster asked with a sly-looking smile.

"We have much in common," Soundwave replied.

"We're also enemies, accordin' to the symbols on our chests." Blaster's smile faded a little, as if he didn't like his own assessment of their situation.

"They are merely symbols outside a battlefield." Soundwave knew they were treading in dangerous territory, but he was willing to take the risk. Blaster didn't look at him the way everyone else did. They spoke as equals. They interacted as peers. He realized at that moment why he was so determined to get to know Blaster, no matter the amount of peril involved… Blaster accepted him for _who_ he was.

"I suppose." Blaster rubbed at the back of helm. "Truth is, I feel pretty comfortable 'round ya. Which is kinda weird, considering we barely know each other."

"We share similar experiences," Soundwave replied.

"That's true, and we do seem to have a lot in common, aside from our sparks." Blaster grinned.

That smile. Soundwave found it to be one of Blaster's more appealing qualities. "Indeed." Soundwave reached into his subspace pocket, and pulled out a data disc. "This is for you," he said as he offered it to Blaster.

Plucking the disc from Soundwave's fingers, Blaster laughed a little. "You are spoiling me again, hm?"

"I do not have much to offer, but I do what I can," Soundwave replied.

"I appreciate your lil' gifts. I'll make you one next time, assuming…" Blaster trailed off and his smile faded.

"Assuming?" Soundwave asked.

"You know, I fraggin' hate this war," Blaster commented as he stared at the disc he held. "It makes everything so complicated."

"I agree with your assessment." Soundwave knew that if he hadn't attempted to bridge the gap their factions created, they wouldn't be sitting here talking. However, if it were still the Golden Age they would have been able to spend time getting to know each other at their leisure. "But the time we have spent together so far has been pleasant."

Blaster glanced back at Soundwave, offering him another one of his warm-looking smiles. "Yeah, it has for me too."

"My cassettes are the only ones I normally spend time around," Soundwave admitted.

"That sounds very lonely," Blaster said in a softened tone.

"It can be. You do not appear to be affected in a similar way. You are fortunate," Soundwave said as he dimmed his optics behind his visor.

"Trust me, I know what bein' lonely feels like," Blaster said in a sullen tone of voice.

"You do not interact with your fellow officers?" Soundwave asked.

"Yeah, but," Blaster dimmed his optics. "I hide what I am from them. There's a total of three mechs I trust enough to allow anywhere near my cassettes. Aside from that, I just try and fit in as best I can. Heh, thing is, hiding is probably just as isolating in its own way."

Soundwave allowed his rigid posture to relax a little. They were so alike and yet opposite in how they handled the pitfalls that came with their spark condition. However, the overall effect was the same. They each hid away from those that didn't understand them, while remaining dedicated to those in their care. "We each appear to be equally devoted to our cassettes."

Blaster nodded. "They're kinda my whole world. When everything else is a slagheaped mess in my life, they never fail to cheer me up. Remind me that there's somethin' good that can come from me being here."

That was very true for Soundwave, too. Whenever he was upset, Ravage would always appear at his side or Laserbeak would play video footage of things he enjoyed. Even Rumble and Frenzy were fiercely loyal to him, which he'd never expected after they first met. They each in their own way did their part to help ease his otherwise overwhelming loneliness. He touched the center of his chest and thought about the budding life inside him. Guilt about his decision to not keep it suddenly hit him hard.

"Did I say somethin' I shouldn't have? Not that I can tell too well with your visor and mask, but you seem kinda upset." Blaster leaned forward a little.

Soundwave shifted his gaze to Blaster. He was so kind-sparked, which reminded him a little of his father, Distortion. "I am fine."

Blaster softly sighed air from his intakes. "I'll take your word for it." His optics then focused on Soundwave's chest. "I haven't budded since I had my mini-mechs. I am a little jealous you are gonna have another one." Blaster shook his head and smiled. "How weird is that, huh? Wanting another creation in the middle of a war?"

"It is not odd. As you stated, our cassettes provide us emotional support we otherwise lack." Soundwave frowned behind his mask as guilt ate away at his spark. How could he not want this new creation to be a part of his life? He hated that he felt he had no choice. When it came down to it, he was trading its life to maintain the status quo. But was that really fair?

Blaster's fingers lightly stroked Soundwave's upper arm, leaving a warm tingling sensation in their wake. "Seeing as we have so much in common, I think we can give each other 'emotional support', too."

It had happened again. His dermal plating had reacted to the touch in a pleasant manner. Perhaps Blaster was special in some way? Why else had a touch that normally caused Soundwave to cringe instead feel so amazing? He refocused on the conversation at hand, though. All of his odd reactions to Blaster would need to be analyzed later. "I had been curious if the sensation of loneliness I was experiencing was simply a part of being dual-pulsed."

"In a way, maybe it is. But I also think most of us are lonely, dual-pulsed or not. This war has really ripped a huge hole in our once happy existence," Blaster replied in more serious tone. "That's why I think I try so hard to have fun. Capture a little of that happiness, even if it's only for a moment."

Soundwave lifted his gaze to meet Blaster's. This smiling, jovial mech before him was trying to be happy despite everything. _That must take amazing strength of will,_ Soundwave thought. "You are not quite what I expected."

"Isn't that what I said to you last time?" Blaster asked as he laughed a little.

Soundwave smiled behind his mask. "I am pleased that I may call you a friend."

"Me, too."

"Would it be possible to make our meetings more frequent?" Soundwave asked.

Blaster nodded. "Sure. We just need to be careful is all."

"Of course."

They sat and talked for a little while longer about their sparks and how they coped until Blaster finally indicated he needed to return. They agreed to meet again at this same location the following Earth week. As Soundwave watched Blaster's retreating form disappear, he pondered the odd physical responses he felt. He hoped it wasn't abnormal, but having never been close to anyone other than his creators, he didn't know what 'normal' was.

Perhaps with some investigation he could figure it out.

* * *

_A/N- Sorry for the long delay between chapters. Life is busy and all that… But I am still plugging away at this story, and should have another chapter for you all soon. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews and faves! :3_


	6. Theory of Chaos

Title: Everything Will Change: Theory of Chaos

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

Notes: Soundwave has done what he has to in order to survive in a warrior's world, while Blaster wonders if he'll ever find love. Circumstances soon alter their perceptions of the world and what they expect from life.

Warnings: Death of OC characters for back histories.

p.s. The angst factor is pretty high in this chapter… o_O

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

* * *

The chatter in the rec room grew louder as more mechs poured in after shifts ended, all coming together to refuel and rehash their day.

Blaster sat at a corner table with his gaze pinned on the doorway, waiting for Bluestreak to cross its threshold. His mind was wandering, though, replaying parts of his afternoon with Soundwave. The innocence his counterpart exhibited was so different than the image he normally projected. Even with his face hidden away and his voice flat in tone, Blaster found Soundwave had a rather warm personality. Sweet, even.

_I wonder what's behind that mask of his?_ Blaster had always been curious about mechs with mods that covered their faces. Sometimes that type of gear was simply to give an edge to the wearer, like Jazz's visor feeding him an array of different visual inputs for his spying or recon missions. Or sometimes mods were meant to hide an otherwise expressive mech's reactions, like Prime did with his mask. What was intriguing to Blaster was the mask and visor combination Soundwave wore. Why was he hiding _all_ of his face?

"Hi Blaster!" Bluestreak took a seat beside Blaster after his exuberant greeting.

Distracted by his thoughts, he had completely missed seeing Bluestreak enter the rec room. "Oh! Hey, Blue."

"Have a fun day off? Do anything with your lil' cassettes?" Bluestreak asked.

He did have fun… _with Soundwave._ "Nah, just a boring day."

"Aww. Maybe we can do something now? You want to go for a drive or something?" Bluestreak smiled as he spoke.

It was clear from Bluestreak's tone of voice that he was excited about getting to spend time with Blaster. _Frag, this is gonna suck telling him… _"Um, maybe we could just take a little walk up the mountain. There's a cool view not too far from here."

"Okay. Let me grab an energon cube to sub-space for later. You want one, too?" Bluestreak asked as he stood up from his seat.

"Already had mine. Thanks, though." Blaster felt like his spark was sinking in his chest. Why couldn't he be attracted to Bluestreak? It would make things so much easier.

Bluestreak quickly returned to the table, sporting a huge smile. "Ready to go?"

Blaster nodded as he pushed to stand.

Less than a kilk later they were walking side-by-side toward the Ark's entrance while chitchatting about nothing in particular. If there was one thing Blaster had gotten quite adept at, it was faking his way through situations. He slipped into his happy-go-lucky mode and with Bluestreak's tendency to talk it was easy to maintain a cheery attitude and not let on that he was about to relay some bad news once they were alone.

The late afternoon light that poured inside from the Ark's open entrance was tinted an orange hue. Suddenly a dust cloud just outside the open doorway kicked up. As it cleared, it revealed the twins transforming from their vehicle modes. Blaster stiffened at the sight as he remembered his earlier conversation with Sunstreaker. Primus couldn't lay off on the irony even for a second, it seemed.

"Hi Sides! Hi Sunny!" Bluestreak waved at the twins.

"Heya, Blue. Blaster…" Sideswipe walked up and stopped just in front of them, while Sunstreaker remained awkwardly standing a few paces away. "What'cha up to?" Sideswipe asked.

"Nothing much. Just going for a walk. You guys gonna be in the lounge later?" Bluestreak asked, his smile never fading.

"Um, maybe." Sideswipe was smiling, too, but even Blaster could see it was faked. He glanced at Sunstreaker, noting the troubled look on his face. Born with a bond must be odd. Blaster had a vague understanding of what a bond was like, since he had one with his cassettes. But what he shared with them was only a shadow of what a real bond was actually like and he did wonder just how much a full bond impacted the twins and their lives.

"Well, I really hope you'll stop by. I want to play a new video game that Wheeljack got us. Smokescreen and Tracks are gonna come to hang out, too."

"I'll try to, Blue." Sideswipe glanced at Blaster. "Have a good time, you guys."

Blaster knew the seemingly friendly words directed at him were anything but affable. A sadness permeated Sideswipe's expression as he gazed at Blaster before turning away.

"Okay, later," Bluestreak replied, apparently oblivious to what was going on.

The twins proceeded inside without another word, walking so close their arms were touching. Unlike Blaster, they had each other for support. Another half that understood in a way no one else ever could. _But I do have someone like that now, Soundwave. _Blaster dimmed his optics, knowing how much trouble he'd be in if anyone knew. And yet, for the first time in his life, he had someone who understood him. Someone to talk to about things he normally hid away. That freedom of self that came with being around Soundwave had overrode his sense of duty and loyalty. It wasn't like they were trading sensitive information or anything, though. Didn't the good he got out of it outweigh the potential negatives?

"You okay, Blaster?" Bluestreak lightly touched Blaster's shoulder.

Jolted from his thoughts, Blaster's optics surged for a moment. "Oh, yeah. Let's go."

"You lead the way," Bluestreak replied as he hooked his arm around Blaster's.

Primus, this was going to be really awful telling him...

Reaching a small plateau up the mountain path about a ½ mile away from the Ark, Blaster carefully unwound his arm from Bluestreak's. The sun was slowly sinking behind the distant mountain range, coloring the sky in deep shades of orange and pink.

"Wow, this is so pretty." Bluestreak's doorwings perked up as he stood staring at the scenery, unfazed by Blaster's withdrawal of his arm.

Blaster gazed at him, noting how handsome Bluestreak was. Especially with his striking red chevron and silvery paneling that reflected the intense range of hues created by the sunset-colored sky. Too bad there was no way of controlling attraction. "You've never been up here?" Blaster asked.

"Yeah, but never around sunset."

Silence reined for a long moment, as Blaster steeled himself for the inevitable. Bluestreak's natural urge to talk broke the momentary quiet, though, delaying Blaster from saying what he needed to.

"I guess we should talk, huh? I hope you weren't caught too off-guard last night. I realized afterward that I didn't give you much warning. But thing is–" Bluestreak paused to look at Blaster. "After I heard about Jazz and everything, I realized how lonely it must be for you. And I know I hate being alone. It reminds me of, well you know, when I almost died. So I didn't want you feel alone, too. It just seemed like we could comfort each other, you know?"

Blaster stared at Bluestreak, feeling badly for the young gunner, but he needed to admit to his lack of romantic feelings. He couldn't let this drag on another astro-second. "Blue, you are really sweet, but the thing is I don't have–"

"Also, I ran into Jazz earlier, and he asked me if I was being serious about you or not," Bluestreak interrupted. "He made it seem like maybe you wanted more than a short-term relationship. Then I stopped to think about it and realized I hadn't thought it through at all. Long-term versus short-term and all that. That made me wonder if what you want and what I want might be totally different. 'Cause in the end, I don't think I really wanted something long-term, I just kinda wanted to be around someone nice and not feel so alone." Bluestreak's doorwings lowered as he spoke.

Jazz. Blaster knew his best friend was looking out for him. Protecting him. He squarely focused his gaze on Bluestreak. "I do think we want different things, Blue."

"I had a feeling you'd say that." Bluestreak softly sighed air from his intakes. "I should be totally honest with you, anyway. I like another mech. It was terrible of me to kiss you like I did seeing as I do like someone else a lot. But, thing is, he doesn't like me and I am just so tired of feeling all alone."

"Aww, Blue. You're anythin' but terrible." _I wonder if he's talking about Sideswipe?_ "I get where you're comin' from. I guess I didn't stop ya from kissin' me for similar reasons. Feeling wanted like that was a nice change of pace for me."

Bluestreak looked at Blaster and sadly smiled.

"So…How do you know he doesn't like you? Did he tell ya that?" Blaster asked.

"No. I never _told_ him I like him in the first place, but if he did have feelings for me he would've said so by now. It's fine, though. Some things just aren't meant to be sometimes." Bluestreak's voice almost cracked as he spoke and his doorwings drooped low. "Maybe we should just head back."

"How 'bout instead we sit and watch the sunset?" Blaster replied. "After all, we came out here, may as well enjoy it."

"Okay," Bluestreak replied softly and he lowered himself down to sit.

Blaster did the same, taking a seat right beside Bluestreak.

"And not to be stickin' my nose in your business or anything, but I think you should tell whoever it is how you feel." Blaster gently elbow-bumped Bluestreak's arm. The young gunner's brilliant blue optics focused on him. "Unless you tell him, how's he ever gonna know? Or what if he's waiting for _you_ to say somethin'? Trust me on this, I know from first-hand experience."

Bluestreak sadly smiled. "I don't know. I gave up on trying to get his attention a long time ago. He just doesn't see me like that." Bluestreak shifted his gaze to the ground as a sad expression swept his face. "I feel alone all the time, Blaster. I hate it. Even when I am in a crowded room, I feel alone."

"Blue…" Blaster scooted closer and put an arm over Bluestreak's shoulders. "You aren't alone. Every one here loves you to pieces. And I bet if you made a move on this mech you like, you'd be pleasantly surprised."

Bluestreak looked back up at Blaster. "You're so nice, Blaster."

Blaster offered Bluestreak a warm smile.

"I'm sorry about kissing you like I did. I know I kinda jumped you and all." Bluestreak meekly smiled. "You're pretty cute, though."

Blaster laughed. "I am? Wow, thanks for the compliment. You're one good lookin' mech, yourself."

"Too bad it's not something that'll work out between us," Bluestreak replied.

"Yeah. But I don't think either of us should give up. Just cause we don't match up doesn't mean there isn't someone out there that will be a good match for each of us." Blaster's own words echoed in his processor and his thoughts strayed to the one mech that did in fact best 'match' him: Soundwave. That thought sent a chill down his back strut. It was a line of thinking he needed to quickly cut off. A friendship was one thing, but even the notion of something more than that was out of the question.

"I hope so, Blaster." Bluestreak leaned into Blaster's half embrace. "Being alone sucks."

Blaster gave Bluestreak a squeeze. "It sure does. We've just gotta hang onto hope. Things will eventually change for the better."

…

_Slowly, Soundwave felt his body coming online. Every system that initialized took massive effort on his part to maintain as he floated toward consciousness. _

"_Come on, now. You can online, I fixed all your vitals," spoke a gruff voice._

_Soundwave dimly lit his optics to see a medic standing over him. _

"_There ya go. That was quite a blast you survived." The medic plugged a scanner into the systems access port on the back of Soundwave's neck and focused on his hand-held device. "Everything is looking good. You're gonna be stiff and sore for a couple orns, though."_

_The last thing Soundwave remembered was lying pinned under a piece of roofing grasping at the cold, lifeless hand of his father, Harmony. How had he survived? He knew he had been in that rubble for at least half an orn before his body shut down. He last remembered thinking about soon he'd join his fathers and the comfort he found in that thought just before he passed out. "How did I surv—" Soundwave cut his vocalizer off, instantly mortified by the monotone voice that emitted from it. "What is wrong with my vocalizer?"_

"_Yeah. I did my best with the tools I've got here, but half of your frame was crushed, including your vocalizer. I reconstructed it, but due to the extensive damage that's how it's gonna sound from now on. Plus, because of its limitations, I had to reprogram your speech patterns." _

_Soundwave frowned, deeply disturbed by the news this medic so casually delivered. His voice was permanently altered, his fathers were dead…He then felt for his cassette, but no energy signal emitted from within. Panic gripped his spark in response. "Where is my cassette? Did he receive damage?"_

"_He's fine. Your body protected your lil' creation. I did put him in stasis until you onlined, though. He was pretty upset, whining, wandering around and whatnot." The medic unplugged the cord. "That dual-pulse spark of yours is the only reason you're still alive. You're one lucky slagger."_

_Lucky? Soundwave stared at the medic, his shock written across his face. Waking up to a world where his fathers were dead and he was left alone didn't exactly fall under the category of 'lucky' in his opinion._

"_Let's get you washed down and waxed." The medic gently prodded Soundwave to sit up, which he obliged in a daze. "You'll feel better after that."_

_Was this medic insane? Nothing was going to make him feel better. Nothing… Tears of coolant pooled on his optics as he fought hard against the urge to cry. _

"_The Decepticon army captain will want to see you after you're a little more recovered, too. But not until I discharge you." The medic pulled on Soundwave to get off the berth. "The washracks are over here." _

_Too shocked and overwhelmed by emotions he wasn't used to dealing with, Soundwave staggered along behind the medic. They passed a berth where Ravage's listless body lay. Soundwave stopped cold in his tracks, staring at the only thing left of his life before the bombs dropped._

"_Oh yeah, he's just in stasis. You can have him back after we get you cleaned up," the medic commented as he stepped through a doorway and motioned to Soundwave to follow him._

_On the other side was a small room with two washrack stalls. "Drying cloths are here, and there is soap and wax in the dispensers." The medic then locked gazes with Soundwave. "Take all the time you need in here, all right?" _

_Still feeling stunned, Soundwave simply nodded. _

_The door closed behind the medic and Soundwave wandered into one of the stalls. He reached for the panel to turn on the water, choosing a warm setting. The shock of his situation finally slipped away as the spray nozzle sent water streaming down his repaired frame. He stared down at the shiny new plating and the repair seams that criss-crossed his legs and abdomen. He lightly fingered one of the seam lines along his right side. Why had Primus spared him? He should be dead like his parents. A sharp pain suddenly gripped his spark as he thought about his fathers. Harmony's smiles, Distortion's caring nature…_

_Gone. Everything he knew was gone. His fathers were gone_ forever_. _

_Soundwave wasn't used to processing such intense emotions, and crouched down under the spray of water, huddling into a ball on the stall floor. He glanced at the shiny metallic wall of the stall only to be dealt yet another blow. He stared at his face reflecting back at him. One third of his facial plating had been reconstructed with mismatched plating several shades darker than the rest of his face. He scooted closer, staring with overly bright optics at his now malformed face. Tears pooled once again on his golden optics and this time escaped in streams down his cheeks, which were washed away with the water pouring over his helm. He looked so hideous. Scarred outside as well as inside. _

_Unsure how to deal with the sheer enormity of his loss, he stopped trying to hold back and gave into the urge to cry, allowing sobs to wrack his frame. He was alone in this world that had treated him so cruelly. No fathers to protect him and love him. No home to be safe in. No insulated world to live in._

_Without his consent, without any real warning, _everything_ had changed. _

._.

"Hey, Big Guy. You okay?" Frenzy asked as he shook Soundwave, rousing him from his recharge.

He stared at the small mini-mech whose face was mere micro-meters away. "I am fine," he replied as he focused his optics on Frenzy.

"You were, ah, crying," Frenzy replied in a hushed voice.

Soundwave internally cringed. "Memory file dump. Nothing to be concerned about," he replied as he rolled from his side to his back on the berth.

Since he didn't share energy signals with Rumble and Frenzy, they didn't always recharge inside the special sub-space pocket with Ravage and Laserbeak. More so lately with the added energy pulse from his budding sparklet that was now interrupting their recharge cycles due to its increase in size. Over the last few days, they had been making use of the mini-berth Soundwave built for them. He glanced over to see Rumble was sprawled out over its surface, leaving no space for his brother.

"Did I wake you?" Soundwave asked he looked back over at Frenzy.

"Nah. I got up cause Rumble took up the berth and I heard ya. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Never heard you make sounds like that before." Frenzy looked worried as he gazed at Soundwave.

"I am fine." Soundwave reached up and lightly patted Frenzy's helm.

Looking unconvinced, Frenzy frowned at Soundwave. "You've been different lately."

"Different?" Soundwave asked.

"Yeah. Maybe it's just your sparklet or something. Or maybe it's that Autobot guy. You just seem more, I dunno…" Frenzy glanced down, pursing his lips together as he appeared to contemplate what he was trying to say. "More like you care about stuff than you used to."

That was not an assessment Soundwave expected to hear. "Have I not been attentive to all of you in the past?"

"Sure you are." Frenzy rubbed his forehead and his visor dimmed. "Eh, never mind. I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I'm fragging exhausted and Rumble keeps taking up the whole slagging berth."

Soundwave glanced back at Rumble again, blissfully unaware of the discomfort he'd caused his brother. "I will build you another berth. For now, recharge here."

He shifted his gaze back to Frenzy who smiled. "Thanks, Big Guy." Frenzy then climbed up, lying on his front across Soundwave's chest. He pressed the side of his helm to the glassy center. "I can hear the new creation in there."

An ache radiated through Soundwave's spark, prompted by his guilt. The closer it got to the inevitable separation, the worse he felt about his choice not to keep it. Still, what could he do? Short of ending up in enemy hands at his moment of separation so the medic that cared for Blaster could help him, there was no way to safely have it removed. And even then, why would the Autobots ever help him? He'd masterminded too many attacks to warrant anything other than a hostile response.

He watched Frenzy's visor dim then go black as he easily slipped into recharge where he lay. Soundwave loved his cassettes more than he could even properly express to them. His world that had been shattered into pieces after he lost his parents had slowly been rebuilt around his constant companions. He wished that having them in his life were enough to quell his loneliness. Instead, he was now putting them all in danger to forge his new friendship with Blaster.

Soundwave quietly vented air from his intakes, frustrated with his current situation. For the most part he was keeping everything in control, but even Frenzy was seeing some sort of change taking place. A change he wasn't sure had a full grasp on. His thoughts wandered to the reactions he'd experienced around Blaster. New and unexplained sensations that he wanted to understand the origins of. Perhaps after shift tomorrow he could spend some time investigating what it all meant. Maybe then he'd have a better idea of how to handle everything.

…

_It had happened in an instant. Blaster had watched with horror as his first creation, a turbo-cat he named Tracker, ran out ahead of him in the middle of a firefight and was hit by stray laser fire. It had pierced through his plating and extinguished his small spark instantly. The pain that gripped Blaster's own spark at the moment his creation was killed was so intense he had crumpled to the ground and his body initiated a shut-down. _

_Time had lost meaning after that. Blaster now lay in a berth in medbay, hugging Tracker's cold frame to his chest, lost in a daze of grief and pain. He wasn't sure how long he had been in medbay, all he knew was he felt lost and unable to grasp reality. The lights in medbay made a soft humming sound that seemed to only further numb Blaster. _

_The curtain that was drawn around his berth was pulled back, but he didn't bother looking at whoever his latest visitor was. Medics were all the same. They only seemed to view Blaster as an object of study. _

_A white head accented with a dark grey chevron leaned into Blaster's line of sight. Symbols on his upper parts of arms indicated this wasn't a regular medic, but the Chief Medical Officer. "Hey there," his visitor said as he plopped down in the chair beside the berth. _

_Blaster blankly stared at him. _

"_Believe it or not, you aren't the first dual-pulse I've taken on as a patient. My name is Ratchet, and I'm the CMO." Ratchet leaned forward in his seat and sharply focused his optics on Blaster. "Do you have another cassette? Or just this one?"_

_The medic was asking a question. Blaster frowned as he tried to force himself to focus enough to answer. Another cassette? Yes…Ramhorn. He could feel his other creation's energy pulse in his chest, but it was weaker than usual. How long had he been lying here like this? "Ramhorn…"_

"_You've been here for three cycles, I bet he's in need of some energon. How about I hold this one for you, so you can let Ramhorn out?" Despite the fact it sounded like a question, Blaster could tell by Ratchet's tone of voice that it was more of an order. _

_The tight grip Blaster had on Tracker's frame loosened as he nodded at Ratchet, indicating he'd comply. Ratchet got to his feet and gingerly pulled Tracker out of Blaster's arms, holding the lifeless body with care. Blaster stared at Ratchet for a moment, intrigued by how this medic was acting. Then he pushed himself up into a sitting position. How could he have forgotten about Ramhorn? He must be starving. Blaster ejected his other creation, who landed on in his lap in a limp heap. _

"_Ramhorn, I'm so sorry." Blaster pulled his creation into his arms and hugged him. He could feel just how weak his other cassette was through their thin bond. "He needs energon."_

"_There's a couple cubes on the tray beside your berth there," Ratchet replied. _

_Blaster spotted them and grabbed hold of one, which he then held to Ramhorn's mouth, pouring it in a messy stream that half went down his intake and half dribbled down his front. Ramhorn sent a sensation of affection to Blaster mixed with feelings of grief over losing his sibling cassette. "I'm so, so sorry Ramhorn," Blaster said in a softened voice. "I'm a terrible caretaker."_

"_No you aren't. The state you are in is normal for any dual-pulse that loses a creation." Ratchet carefully slid to sit on the edge of the berth, still holding Tracker while reaching into his sub-space pocket and pulling out a cleaning cloth to offer Blaster. "It's going to take time to recover from the trauma."_

"_Oh," Blaster replied as he took the cloth and started to wipe away the energon spilt across Ramhorn's front. _

"_Would you like to keep this guy here a little while longer?" Ratchet asked, gently lifting Tracker's frame up in his arms._

_Blaster gazed at his dead creation then shook his head. He hugged Ramhorn's warm frame to his chest. _

"_Then I'll take him with me. I want you to recharge some more, and have that other cube of energon." Ratchet stood up and frowned at Blaster. "I heard the commander of your team requested you use your cassette in that battle. Just so you know, he's been reprimanded and you will not be placed into an active unit for the time being."_

_Gazing up at Ratchet, Blaster realized this medic wasn't like at all like the ones that had cared for him back home before the war. This one seemed to genuinely care. "Thanks."_

"_I'll be back to check on you, and that cube better be emptied," Ratchet said in a gruff voice, although a hint of a smile pulled at the corners of his lips. _

_Blaster watched Ratchet duck back behind the curtain, taking Tracker away with him. A twinge of pain rolled through his spark as the reality of his loss settled in. Ramhorn wriggled in his grip, as if trying to get Blaster to lie down. In response, Blaster simply hugged him even tighter as he felt tears of coolant start to pool on his optics. He'd lost his family members one by one, and now losing Tracker was just too much to bear. He broke down at that moment, crying and hugging Ramhorn close. _

_This war was destroying everything he cared about. He wasn't sure how to move forward in the face of so much death…_

._.

For Blaster, losing his first creation had been one of the worst moments of his entire life. He lay silently in his berth after waking from his memory file play-back, and lightly touched his chest, tuning into the comforting sensation of all his cassettes' energy signals humming within him. It had been a long time since he'd really thought about Tracker.

He remembered how hard pulling out of the dark place Tracker's death had sent him to was. Ratchet's care had been the first step back from the brink for Blaster. Meeting Jazz shortly after had also been a big part of his recovery.

Blaster had also at some point decided to focus on what little things made him happy and let the rest fall away. While it had been a choice that helped him back then, he now wondered if it was time to fully face things that he had been glossing over for so long. Like how lonely he truly felt. Bluestreak's admission from a few days earlier still weighed heavily on his mind along with Soundwave's confession of feeling isolated. Were they all doomed to being left feeling adrift? Or was there a way back?

The eternal optimist in Blaster wanted them all to find comfort and happiness. There has to be a way to fill the voids the war had left in each of their sparks. The question was how? Blaster had been seeking love as an answer, but after such fruitless attempts even the optimist in him was starting to have some doubts.

Rolling to his side, he dimmed his optics as reality started to fade away and he gave into his exhaustion, seeking a little more time to recharge. His waning thoughts swirled around hopes that Sideswipe and Bluestreak could find a way to come together, while he also wondered how different things might be for him and Soundwave if this stupid war wasn't in the way. In a different place and time, perhaps their friendship would have had the chance grow into more, ending the loneliness for both of them. If only…

…

"I have a special mission for you, Soundwave." Megatron's smile always bordered on a sneer when he about to ask Soundwave to do something dangerous. "The Autobots have a special interface chip they use to connect to all the satellites around this dirtball planet and tap into the human communications' networks. I need you to sneak into their base and steal it."

Soundwave stood perfectly still in the control room beside where Megatron sat. He nodded in agreement to his commander, despite his private reservations about such a mission or the possible uses Megatron had in mind for such a communications chip. The pieces of this puzzle had yet to reveal the bigger picture: a large laser cannon that Shockwave was designing, a need to gather large amounts of energon and now this item he wanted from the Autobot base. Whatever was brewing, it seemed to be large scale.

"As always, I can rely on you, Soundwave." Megatron reached out and harshly patted Soundwave's arm.

His dermal plating practically burned where his leader's fingers made contact and he fought back the urge to flinch or shy away from the unwanted touch. He knew he should say something reassuring and ego-stroking to Megatron, though. "I am here to serve you, Lord Megatron."

A feral-looking smile curled Megatron's lips. "Of course you are. The timeline is set for this afternoon to infiltrate the Autobot base. Several small teams will be sent at the same time to raid nearby power plants as a cover and to empty the base of the fighting forces. Thrust and Dirge have been assigned to accompany you and provide another distraction at the entrance. I am sure it will be an easy mission."

Soundwave nodded. "I will not fail you."

"Excellent. One more thing, I want Rumble and Frenzy on Starscream's raid team to throw off Autobot suspicions," Megatron said with smirk.

Soundwave frowned deeply behind his mask in response to the added orders. It was rare, but Megatron sometimes separated them for fighting in battles. This was why all his cassettes were equipped with weapons and added armor. Still, it didn't make it any less upsetting when these moments did arrive and he knew they were going to be in danger without him there to protect them.

Megatron turned his attention back to the large screen monitor, scrutinizing the schematics of the cannon. "Be sure to let them know, and you are dismissed."

Soundwave nodded, then quickly exited the control room. In the hallway he stopped to comm. his mini-mechs.

:: Rumble, Frenzy, you are to accompany Starscream without my escort for a power plant raid this afternoon. :: Soundwave felt a small sharp pain in his spark from the budding sparklet and lightly touched the center of his chest. The pain from his spark was uncomfortable, but not the type of overwhelming sensation he'd normally feel when the sparklet was growing. It was starting to reach the end stages where growth was slow and constant, instead of in larger growth spurts.

:: Being split up this time? :: Rumble asked.

:: Affirmative. Please use extreme caution. ::

:: You too, Big Guy, :: Frenzy responded.

:: Yeah, no running into laser fire while you've got that sparklet, got it? :: Rumble said in his most authoritative voice.

Soundwave smiled behind his mask, touched by their concern for him. :: Yes. ::

He glanced downward at his fingers pressed against his chest_. If only things were different_, he thought. _I am very sorry about your intended fate, sparklet. _

…

Alert sirens blared throughout the Ark. Blaster sat with Red Alert in the communications room, attempting to relay information to two teams that had been dispatched to deal with Decepticon attacks. More reports from humans in distress at other power plants suddenly came up on screen.

"We've gotten three more reports, Prime," Red Alert practically yelled. "Fairhaven plant in North Plainville, the main power routing station in the desert just outside Calamity Springs, and the gas refinery at exit 87 off highway 123. Teams have already reached the previous two reported areas, including yours."

:: Prowl, Jazz, and Ironhide each divide up remaining soldiers on base and proceed to the locations Red Alert has provided, :: Prime ordered over the general comm. link lines.

Blaster and pulled up the satellite images of all three new areas that had just been reported to be under Decepticon attack. This was bad. The Decepticons had been quiet for a while. The Autobots had been anticipating something would happen, but five raids for energon at once was a new tactic that had left them scrambling. Soon, everyone but essential personnel had left the base in teams to intercept the sudden attacks and protect the humans caught in the middle of their never-ending war.

:: Decepticons at Ark entrance, I repeat, Decepticons at Ark entrance! :: Smokescreen shouted over the comm. lines.

Blaster and Red Alert exchanged shocked looks. "What the slag is goin' on?" Blaster asked.

"I don't know, but this is far worse than it first seemed. Perhaps the simultaneous raids were to draw everyone away from the base, which means there is something _here_ they want," Red Alert replied.

Blaster brought up the camera feeds for the Ark, and carefully inspected the footage, while Red Alert continued to relay messages and deal with the five off-base teams.

A blip in the feed from the camera trained on the mainframe area behind the control room caught Blaster's attention. It repeated again at 1.2 milliseconds later. It wasn't a live feed. _It's being hacked_, thought Blaster. And there was only one mech talented enough for such a nearly perfect hack job: Soundwave.

The world seemed to come to a screeching halt for Blaster as his realization sunk in.

Spending time with Soundwave had been so fulfilling for Blaster and in an instant he was reminded that they were treading in uncharted territory with their 'friendship'. He worried that if Soundwave were caught by one of his comrades he'd be shot at and damaged or possibly killed. That thought evoked an odd, out of place desire to protect his counterpart and Blaster's gut reaction was to get to Soundwave before anyone else did. "I see an anomaly, I'm gonna check it out myself since we are short-handed."

Red Alert opened his mouth to possibly protest, but then snapped it shut and nodded. "Report anything you find, and call for help should we have a Decepticon onboard."

"Will do," Blaster replied just before he raced out the room.

He quickly descended the steps from the communications area and swung around the corner toward the narrow corridor that led to the mainframe area from the left side. He pulled out his sub-spaced pistol just in case, and held it out in front of him as he quietly walked down the hallway. He paused when he reached a point in the corridor that made a 90-degree turn. Blaster pressed himself to the inner wall, then carefully peered around the corner, spotting Soundwave a few meters away accessing one of the mainframe computer interface terminals with Ravage standing at his feet.

Blaster quickly ducked back behind the wall. The memory files of a young, curious dual-sparked mech were clashing with the image of a hardened warrior that now stood mere meters away. Duty and personal desire crashed into each other, leaving Blaster questioning everything that had transpired in the last few weeks. Maybe it had all been a ploy leading up to this moment. No, Soundwave couldn't have known it would be Blaster who'd come to confront him. Blaster glanced at his hands, now trembling slightly with the pistol held between them. He _needed_ to confront his 'friend' before anyone else found him.

Mustering his courage, Blaster stepped out from behind the wall, but made sure to keep his pistol pointed downward. Soundwave was walking in his direction, apparently finished with whatever he had been doing. "Halt!" Blaster shouted.

Soundwave came to a stop, obeying Blaster's curt order.

"Whatever ya just did to the mainframe, undo it _now_," Blaster said in a falsely confident tone.

"I have done nothing to sabotage your mainframe." Soundwave held up what he had evidently stolen, some sort of data chip. "However, if I do not return with this item, I will be punished for being insubordinate."

"I can't let ya just walk outta here with whatever you stole," Blaster replied.

Soundwave faintly nodded. "Do what you deem is correct in a battle situation."

"'Deem is correct'? You sayin' I should treat you like my enemy? Shoot ya to keep you from gettin' away?" Blaster asked, feeling torn and confused.

"Yes." Soundwave stood perfectly still, unwavering in his posture or affirmation of Blaster's questions. "This is war and we are currently foes due to our faction allegiances, putting us into direct conflict. I will not hold your actions against you."

Blaster slowly lifted his pistol up and aimed it at Soundwave's chest. The settings were not meant to injure, but instead stun his foe. Under normal 'battle conditions' he'd shoot, knock Soundwave unconscious, and turn him over to his superiors. Blaster stared at the glassy center of his counterpart's chest. Thanks to their time together, he knew a small creation pulsed within. Even just a stun from his pistol could end that small life prematurely, or possibly damage it. How could he live with himself if he did end its life with his military actions? It was at that moment Blaster realized that things had gone too far between them. That he couldn't bring himself to shoot meant he'd gotten too attached to Soundwave to be an effective soldier for his faction. "Fraggit!" Blaster lowered his pistol. "I can't…"

Soundwave cautiously moved forward until he was standing directly in front of Blaster. They locked gazes. "Your failure to shoot me is based on our friendship?" Soundwave asked.

Blaster frowned. "I don't want to harm your sparklet."

Soundwave's visor brightened, then dimmed. "You have chosen to protect me."

"I suppose so." Blaster frowned. "You better move quick if you plan on gettin' outta here in one piece, though." His guilt over betraying his faction was intense, but his desire to protect his counterpart and only other dual-pulse sparked mech left alive was in the end much stronger.

Soundwave started to walk past Blaster but paused to tentatively touch Blaster's arm, leaving a warm tingling sensation in his fingers' wake. It was a tender gesture that took Blaster by surprise. He looked at Soundwave, allowing his confusion to play across his face. "I will protect you as well," Soundwave said as his visor dimmed. Then he withdrew his hand and swiftly moved forward down the hallway, disappearing around the corner without another word.

Left standing there, Blaster found himself mired in mixed emotions and varying thoughts. He was guilty of betraying his faction, although no one knew about it…yet. He was also far more emotionally attached to Soundwave than he realized and could now see that he had been trying to live in a state of denial regarding his feelings. That seemingly stray thought from a few days earlier during his talk with Bluestreak about how he and Soundwave were well-matched suddenly took on new significance. Blaster shook his head at himself, knowing how much of a mess he had just made by his actions.

:: Blaster, report in. Did you find an intruder? :: Red Alert's voice jolted Blaster back to reality.

:: Signs of tamperin' with the mainframe, but no Decepticon spotted. :: Blaster lied.

:: The Decepticons on the entrance just took off and they had Soundwave with them. Prime's team is returning after driving the Decepticons away from the power plant, :: Red Alert replied, filling Blaster in. :: Return to the comm. room, I need the extra help up here. ::

:: On my way, :: Blaster replied.

As he made his way back to the communications room, he tried to come to some sort of understanding about his actions. What he knew for sure was that he had crossed a line and it was too dangerous to keep moving forward with Soundwave like this. Knowing himself and recognizing the twinges of feelings that were creeping in for what they were, he knew he'd end up falling for his counterpart and that would put not just him at risk, but his creations would be put in danger, too. The last thing he wanted was to end up dead if the Decepticons caught them together, orphaning his creations. All his recent actions now felt like huge mistakes he'd made. How could he be so reckless? All because he felt lonely? No matter how emotionally satisfying it felt to spend time with Soundwave, it simply wasn't worth the risk.

He lightly touched his chest as he made his way up the stairs. _I won't put you in danger anymore. I know I just protected him, but you guys always come first. I promise to end this whole thing so you'll be safe. _

* * *

_A/N- Almost time for the good stuff! Thank you readers that are still hanging in there with me on this story. I am in the midst of moving, so updates are super slow, but I promise I won't let this story hang unfinished. I love it too much…_


	7. Irrational Logic

Title: Everything Will Change: Irrational Logic

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

"I want to take you far from the cynics int his town  
And kiss you on the mouth  
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,  
Start a brand new colony  
Where everything will change,  
We'll give ourselves new names, identities erased  
The sun will heat the ground  
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony

(Brand new colony)  
Everything will change..."

* * *

For the first time in several Earth weeks, Blaster found himself sitting with Jazz on a couch in the corner of the lounge area, hanging out like old times. The aftermath of the Decepticon attacks was still a hot topic around the base. Others in the lounge sat several meters away, gathered around the large screen television with the human news network on, talking about the recent events.

Jazz had other things he wanted to talk about, though.

"I stalled out on asking him to bond, and now I am not as sure as I was, ya know?" Jazz frowned.

Blaster felt guilty, knowing Jazz's not asking Prowl to bond had been in large part due to his own meltdown and fight they had. "But you love him, right?"

"Yeah." Jazz leaned against the back of couch, staring at the group of mechs sitting around the television. "I guess I'm scared he's gonna say 'no'. I don't wanna have 'im turn me down."

The issue didn't seem that complicated to Blaster, though. Was he missing something? "You love him, he loves you, you both have spark flutter, and so bonding is the next step. I don't see why he'd turn ya down."

"Well..." Jazz looked back at Blaster and sheepishly smiled. "I dunno if he's got the flutter 'er not. I kinda never asked 'im."

Blaster playfully punched Jazz's shoulder. "You idiot. Ask him!"

Jazz laughed a little. "I know. I wanted it to be more of a spontaneous thing. Be all romantic and sweep 'im off his feet."

"That's a nice idea and all, but think about it a sec. You wanna commit the rest of your life to him. It's probably better to talk about it all first, rather than just put him on the spot like that." Blaster genuinely smiled, happy that things between them were finally feeling normal again.

"Yeeeah. Yer right." Jazz faintly shook his head. "That's just not as romantic."

Blaster leaned back against the couch, too. Rubbing at the back of his helm, he tried to think of some sort of middle ground between open communication and being spontaneous. "Maybe I could ask him?"

"Ask 'im, what?" Jazz's visor dimmed at he looked at Blaster.

"If he's got spark flutter," Blaster replied.

Jazz chuckled. "Thanks for the offer, but I gotta be the one to ask that kinda thing. I like that you care enough to offer, though."

Blaster gazed at Jazz, remembering why he had been attracted to him in the first place. He was not only handsome but also kind down to his very core. Plus, he had the type of personality that could make anyone feel at ease. Blaster knew that his attraction to Jazz had never been at the spark level, though, and despite his fantasy of a life with him, it simply wasn't meant to be. His getting so upset with Jazz had been a pretty immature reaction. But at the same time he now saw how it had been a reaction born from his intense loneliness. Primus, Prowl was a very lucky mech to have someone as amazing as Jazz to love him.

"It's funny, just thinkin' 'bout askin' is makin' my spark all fluttery." Jazz grinned.

Blaster envied his best friend. As much as he wished he could feel that type of love, it seemed like it would always remain out of his reach. Perhaps that was for the best, seeing as his spark was never destined to bond anyway. "He's lucky to have you, Jazz. I really hope he does have the same spark flutter."

The grin on Jazz's face faded a little. "Blaster, someday you'll feel it, too."

Shaking his head, Blaster sadly smiled back at his best friend. "I'm not meant to have that kind of love. If I'm super lucky, maybe I'll find someone that'll want me despite my spark."

Jazz sat up and turned to face Blaster as a very serious expression suddenly swept across his face. "You'll find more than that, man. You _deserve _to be loved and cherished. Yer amazin', kind-sparked, generous and cute to boot." A small smile curved Jazz's lips. "Trust me, there's someone out there who's gonna not only love ya, but _need _ya in their life. Someone that you'll wanna protect and go to any length to make as happy as they make you."

The word 'protect' immediately brought thoughts of Soundwave to the forefront of Blaster's mind. He _had _protected his counterpart. It was actually the only time in his entire life that his desire to protect had extended past his creations to another mech. He always dated mechs that were guardian type personalities. He had always liked that feeling of being safe and cared for by someone seemingly 'stronger' than him. Even his friendship with Jazz was like that. He realized his relationship to Soundwave was radically different…

Blaster dimmed his optics. "You seem pretty sure I'll find someone."

Jazz put a hand on Blaster's shoulder and squeezed. "You will."

If only Blaster could talk to Jazz about Soundwave, then maybe he could better sort out his feelings regarding the whole situation he'd gotten himself into. But he couldn't. No one could know, not even his best friend. He needed to remain focused on the fact that no matter how much good he got out of his time with Soundwave, the consequences if caught were just too severe. His cassettes came first, always.

…

The mission had been successful. Megatron possessed a copy of the communications chip the Autobots used and was so pleased he had several cubes of high-grade energon delivered to Soundwave's quarters.

Soundwave had shared some of his spoils with Rumble and Frenzy who always enjoyed high-grade when they able to get their hands on some. It only took a small amount to send them into a giggling stupor while they played with their video game console.

Normally, he would take some measure of enjoyment in seeing them have a good time, but today he was only half paying attention to the brothers' antics. The encounter with Blaster was still weighing heavily on his mind. He had known the probability of crossing paths with his counterpart was high but he expected to be treated as an enemy. The fact Blaster allowed their friendship to trump their faction allegiance in a conflict situation seemed completely illogical. Why hadn't Blaster fired to initiate a fight? Why had the protective behavior Blaster exhibited towards him cause his spark flutter in his chest? It was so confusing. None of it made any sense.

The ability to think clearly was hampered by the noises from the video game. Soundwave glanced over at the brothers just in time to watch Frenzy toss his controller to the floor and crawl over to curl up against Rumble who had apparently already passed out. They had finally reached their little bodies' limits. Frenzy's visor went dark as he too succumbed to his stupor. Soundwave smiled behind his face mask, happy to see they had enjoyed the high-grade. The television continued to loudly play their video game's intro music and repeated game play imagery. Not wanting to disturb them by trying to step around them to reach the television, he opted to leave them in peace for a while.

As quietly as possible, he exited their quarters and proceeded to the commissary in search of a quiet place to think. Being third shift he found the space empty. He sat down at a small table and leaned back in the chair, blankly staring at the tabletop in front of him.

He considered all the variables about his involvement with Blaster. His counterpart cared enough to want to protect him and the sparklet he had growing against his spark, and that made him want to return the gesture. Soundwave worried that whatever Megatron's latest plan was for the oversized laser cannon might spell danger for Blaster. If he wanted to ensure his friend's safety he knew he might need to find a way to stop Megatron. Or else redirect him to something else.

"All alone?"

The voice echoed in the empty commissary. Soundwave glanced over to see Thundercracker with a cube of energon in hand headed his way.

"I was," Soundwave replied.

"Heh," Thundercracker grinned as he took a seat. "Was that a joke?"

Soundwave shook his head in reply.

A silver stripe of color that seemed out of place on Thundercracker's darker-colored torso caught his attention. He then saw a purple streak on the underside of one of the flier's arms.

Thundercracker pressed a finger to the streak of purple paint. "I was just fragging Skywarp into oblivion, if that's what you were staring at. Hence, the paint-transfer."

Soundwave internally cringed at the mental image of the two fliers engaged in a round of interfacing. He had never taken part in such an act, but he had watched plenty of footage of mechs interfacing. It looked awkward and uncomfortable, not something he was in any rush to experience himself.

"Why are you in here during third shift?" Thundercracker asked before taking a long swig of his energon.

"I needed a quiet space to think in," Soundwave replied. His monotone voice masked his true annoyance at being disturbed.

"Your lil' guys running amok in your room?" Thundercracker asked with a small smile.

Soundwave narrowed his optics behind his visor, not really in the mood to share anything regarding his life with his cassettes with the flier.

Thundercracker's small smile broadened. "So anyway, what happened with your 'friend'? Did my advice help you out?"

Suddenly reminded that Thundercracker had been key in aiding Soundwave before, he saw a golden opportunity to properly process what had been transpiring between him and Blaster with a mech that did possess some good insights. "Yes, it did. But I have had some new issues arise."

Thundercracker's wings twitched. "Issues?"

"I am having odd sensations occur when I am in his presence," Soundwave replied.

"Like what?"

"My dermal plating will tingle when touched in a friendly manner, and my spark will pulse harder or feel odd at moments when we are speaking." Soundwave watched Thundercracker carefully, searching his body language and facial expression for any indication that his described reactions might not be normal.

Thundercracker started to laugh. "Seriously? You have no idea what's going on?"

Soundwave reared back slightly in his seat. He should know? Know what? Now he had no idea what to say to cover for his apparent lack of knowledge.

Canting his head to one side, Thundercracker stopped laughing and gazed at Soundwave. "You really don't know, do you?"

Embarrassed and fearful of being ridiculed, Soundwave pushed his seat back and stood up. "I apologize for bothering you with my inquiry."

Thundercracker reached out, grabbed Soundwave's wrist and yanked. The touch elicited the usual burning sensation most mech's touches caused. "Sit down and stop being so slagging sensitive."

Soundwave's hand balled into a fist. "Let go of my wrist."

"You're attracted to him. That's what those sensations are from," Thundercracker finally explained.

"Attracted?" Soundwave hadn't considered that as a possibility.

"Heh, yep. And if your spark is reacting to him, you may even have some, ah, _deeper _feelings for him." Thundercracker let go and leaned back in his seat with a huge smile on his face.

"How can you be sure that is the cause?" Soundwave asked, still standing.

"'Cause that's what I feel like around Warp," Thundercracker replied.

Soundwave realized his fathers had never explained anything regarding relationships since they'd probably assumed he would never end up in one. He was ill-prepared for such a scenario to present itself.

"Sit back down." Thundercracker sat forward in his seat and gestured to the chair behind Soundwave. "Obviously, you need a crash course on how relationships and sparks work."

Reluctantly, Soundwave lowered himself to sit. "My spark is not like yours."

Thundercracker raised an optic ridge. "Sparks are sparks. Dual-pulse, split twinned, or otherwise. The mechanics of bonding change, but the sensations we feel are all the same. When dermal plating reacts to a touch, it's an attraction to the mech doing the touching, and a fluttered feeling from a spark is a vibration created when a spark is trying to resonate with a possible bondmate," Thundercracker explained.

Soundwave faintly shook his head. "I am unable to bond. My spark would kill potential partners."

Thundercracker half smiled. "So what? Doesn't mean your spark won't act like any other mech's, even if you can't bond."

He had a point. Soundwave shifted his gaze to the tabletop. Was the deeper feeling Thundercracker referred to _love_? But how was that possible? Their interactions were so limited. In a way that explanation made sense, though. Blaster's touch feeling pleasant to Soundwave, the emotional connection they forged over the course of only a few meetings, and the trust each placed in the other when they shared about their personal lives as dual-sparked mechs were all parts of something much larger, which might very well be a growing 'love' between them.

A hand waved in front of Soundwave's face, breaking his unfocused gaze on the tabletop. "Hey there," Thundercracker said, a touch of a laugh in his voice. "Did I break your processor or something?"

Soundwave glanced back up at the flier. "How common is it to develop 'feelings' for another quickly?"

A sly-looking smile curved Thundercracker's lips. "You mean is there such a thing as 'love at first sight'?"

Soundwave nodded.

"Yeah, I think there is." Thundercracker glanced down at his energon cube as a very serious expression swept across his face. "I knew the moment I saw Warp I wanted only him. Just took a while before we were both ready face the feelings we have for each other." Thundercracker shifted his gaze back to Soundwave and narrowed his optics. "And if you tell _anyone_ what I just said about me and Warp, I'll bash your helm in, _got it?"_

"Understood," Soundwave replied.

Thundercracker's usual feral-looking grin returned to his lips as he got to his feet. "Just be careful. Feelings that strong for someone else _will _make you do reckless things."

"I will take your advice under advisement," Soundwave replied.

Thundercracker laughed a little as he flicked his wings. "You do that." He then meandered out of the commissary.

Staring at the empty doorway, Soundwave carefully processed the seeker's words while analyzing his actions, reactions, and emotions surrounding Blaster. The best fitting conclusion really was that he was attracted to and quite possibly in love with his counterpart.

This revelation regarding his true feelings toward Blaster was huge. It gave new urgency to his desire to offer protection to Blaster from whatever Megatron's latest plan might be, and caused him to question his place within the Decepticon ranks. They had saved his life and out of respect for that fact, along with his hatred of the Cybertronian High Council for bombing his hometown, he'd pledged his loyalty to them. But now it felt like his life wasn't really his to live anymore and he could now see that there was more to life than simply surviving. Perhaps there was a way to bring him and Blaster together while also breaking the bonds of war that bound each of them.

A dull pain radiated within his spark from his sparklet. He touched his chest in response. _There is a possibility I might be able to save you, too, sparklet_.

This required some careful planning, but first he needed to verify that his feelings weren't one-sided. Their next meeting would be in two Earth days. In the meantime, he'd work on gathering more precise details about Megatron's plans.

…

It had been another quiet day in the comm. room for Blaster, leaving him with his swirling thoughts about how exactly he was going to word his goodbye to Soundwave later that afternoon at their pre-arranged meeting. No combination of words seemed adequate. In such a short time, he had really grown fond of Soundwave. If only they weren't enemies by faction. If only things were different… Blaster huffed air from his intakes in frustration.

After an entire shift of sitting there with nothing but his thoughts and worries about his current situation with Soundwave, he was relieved to see Red Alert's pinched-looking frown as he entered the room.

"Heya, Red." Blaster pushed to stand.

"Prowl wants to see you," Red Alert said as he plopped down in the emptied seat.

"What's Prowl want?" Blaster asked.

Red Alert glanced at Blaster, still frowning. "Go and find out yourself."

Why did Prowl want to see him? And why was Red Alert being so curt with him? Panic rippled through Blaster, causing his fuel tank to churn. Was there footage Blaster didn't know about showing his conversation with Soundwave? Red Alert did have a pension for placing cameras in undocumented places. Had he been caught on tape as a traitor?

Blaster forced a smile to his lips. "All righty. Uh, catch you later, Red."

Red Alert waved a dismissive hand at Blaster before logging into the computer.

Maybe Blaster was overacting. Prowl would have probably showed up with Ironhide to put him under house arrest if Red Alert had passed on footage incriminating him. The stress of this secret was really starting to cause him to mentally fray at the edges.

Soon Blaster was walking down the row of offices near the bridge of the Ark while fighting off the urge to completely panic. He needed to appear calm and not let on anything was wrong.

He stopped at Prowl's open office door.

Peering in, Blaster saw the SIC at his desk surrounded by neatly piled stacks of datapads. Blaster took a moment to collect himself, put on a friendly-looking smile and then knocked on the wall beside the doorway. "Hey Prowl. Um, Red said ya wanted to see me?"

Prowl set his datapad down and nodded. "Yes, please come in and take a seat."

Blaster walked in and as soon as he was seated the door to the office slid shut. An uneasy feeling rolled through Blaster's whole frame, causing his smile to falter.

"I have an important matter to speak with you about," Prowl said as his doorwings perked up on his back.

"Oh? What's up?" Blaster tried to sound casual, but could hear the strain in his own voice.

"This is a personal matter regarding Jazz. I am hoping that we may have an amicable conversation." Prowl sounded completely calm as he spoke, but his doorwings twitched behind him when he said 'Jazz'.

Relief washed through Blaster as he realized this had nothing to do with Soundwave. The subject of 'Jazz' was something he could easily handle. "What about him?"

Prowl glanced down at his hands neatly folded together on the desk. "Jazz is very important to me. He's been the one mech in my life that always accepted me just as I am." Prowl looked back up, locking gazes with Blaster. "And _you_ are important to _him_."

The weight of Prowl's last statement hung in the air for a long moment. Blaster couldn't tell if he heard jealously in his words or it was just a statement of fact as Prowl saw it.

Prowl then continued. "Despite the reconciliation between you two, it's clear that the nature of your friendship has been altered. I am not one to meddle normally, but Jazz means the world to me and I don't think he has the strength to tell you himself just how much he misses you."

Blaster heard touch of envy in Prowl's voice. It was subtle, but still there. He knew he needed to tread carefully. "I was tryin' to give you guys some space, that's all. Besides, I hung out with him the other day. We're cool. You don't need to worry."

Prowl's doorwings lowered and a small frown pulled at Prowl's lips. "Like I said, I don't like to meddle. I simply care about Jazz, and felt it was important to tell you what he seems unable to. I want to see him happy, and he is always in a lighter mood after spending quality time with you."

Nodding, Blaster warmly smiled. Jazz had been unsure if Prowl would agree to a bonding, but Blaster could see for himself that Prowl definitely loved him. Primus, they were so fortunate to have finally realized their feelings for one another after fighting side by side for so long. "You guys look out for each other. It's cute."

Prowl raised an optic ridge. "Cute?"

"Yep." Blaster chuckled a little at Prowl's reaction. "It's funny. I was thinking the other day when I was hanging out with him about how lucky you are to have Jazz love you as much as he does. But now I see he's just as lucky to have you, too."

A look of surprise flashed across Prowl's face for a brief moment. "Thank you."

Blaster realized he was jealous of them, but not because he wanted Jazz for himself. He desperately wished he could feel that type of love. A love that would make even the most stoic mech reach out to help the one mech that meant everything to him. "I'll try and be better about hanging out with him, okay?"

"Thank you, again," Prowl replied. "I hope you don't resent me for, well, many different reasons I can think of."

"I don't." Blaster stood up. "I'd only be upset with you if you ever hurt Jazz."

"I don't plan on hurting him," Prowl replied with a tiny, subtle smile.

For a brief moment, Blaster saw a hidden part of Prowl shine through with that smile. It revealed a beautiful, elegant-looking mech beneath the cold, stoic exterior he usually put forward. Just like Blaster faked his smiles with ease, he realized Prowl wore a mask of indifference. Perhaps they weren't as wildly different as he thought.

"Am I dismissed?" Blaster asked.

"This was a personal visit, therefore you have no need to ask to leave. And yes, I think everything we needed to say was said," Prowl replied.

Blaster nodded a goodbye and strolled out of the office. As soon as he stepped into the hallway his thoughts returned to Soundwave. The only mech he didn't put up a false face for. The one mech he'd told the full truth about his feelings surrounding being a dual-pulse spark mech. As much as he wished that things were different, wishing couldn't erase the faction symbols they each wore or the war that endangered each of them and their cassettes. His desire to be closer to Soundwave was irrelevant so long as his creations depended on him for protection. In a few hours he'd see Soundwave again and finally put an end to everything. Why did that thought make him feel so incredibly sad? Blaster touched his chest as he walked down the hallway, knowing it was what he needed to do even if he didn't want to.

…

To Soundwave's surprise, he'd arrived on time at their agreed meeting place but found Blaster wasn't there. He paced the area looking around, but didn't spy his counterpart in any direction. Was he mistaken about the time? He glanced at the flat rock they had sat on together when they last met, knowing he that at least he was at the correct location.

The sound of dirt and rocks crunching underfoot caught Soundwave's attention and he spun around to see Blaster slowly approaching. The mere sight of Blaster set Soundwave's spark pulse rate zooming. He was terrified and exhilarated all at the same time. He had spent the last couple of days contemplating how best to convey his newly discovered feelings. In the end he decided that describing how he felt was probably the easiest way.

Blaster came to a stop several paces away, and Soundwave noticed the small frown pulling at his counterpart's lips. His excitement drained away at the sight. Something was wrong. He could not only see it but also feel it.

"Hey," Blaster said, as he dropped his gaze to the ground.

"Hello." Soundwave took a tentative step closer. "Is there a reason for your distant proximity?"

Blaster nodded as he looked back up at Soundwave. "Yeah." The frown marring his face deepened. "We need to talk."

"That is usually what we do," Soundwave replied.

Blaster shook his head at Soundwave. "No, I mean _I_ need to talk."

"I see. I am listening," Soundwave replied.

Blaster winced as he spoke. "I'm sorry, but we can't be friends anymore. It's a bad idea and I need to make sure my cassettes are safe. I put 'em in danger when I confronted you back on the Ark, and I refuse to let that happen again. They come first. So that means this thing between us needs to end now, before somethin' really bad happens."

It felt as if Blaster dropped a verbal bomb over Soundwave's head, destroying all his joy and excitement from coming to terms with his true feelings. A sense of disbelief mixed with panic gripped Soundwave's spark in response. "This is a rejection?"

Blaster's optics brightened, then dimmed. "In a way, yeah."

_No._ Soundwave refused to accept it. He had opened up to this mech, exposed himself in whole to Blaster. He had built a relationship based on trust with him. The thought of losing him now upset Soundwave to the core of his being. "Please do not do this." Moving closer, Soundwave quickly tried to think of what he could say or do to keep Blaster from leaving.

"I'm sorry, Soundwave. I really am. I wish things were different, but I can't be this selfish. I just can't." Blaster looked almost as if he might cry.

The encounter on the Ark had caused Soundwave to finally see how deeply he cared for Blaster. Meanwhile, it appeared to have frightened his counterpart. The gaps they had bridged were pulling apart again. But how could he stop it from falling apart before his optics? Perhaps if he forged another, more personal connection with Blaster it could fix things. Show him how much trust Soundwave was ready to offer him. "Meblon was bombed shortly after I matured."

A confused look crossed Blaster's face.

"My fathers were all I knew. I lived a sheltered life in our home, which crashed down over our heads and killed them." Soundwave took another step closer and reached out, taking hold of Blaster's hand. Happily, Blaster didn't pull away from the touch; he simply continued to stare at Soundwave, seemingly baffled by the out of the blue story. "I held one father's hand as I lay there pinned under rubble from our house, waiting for death. They were my entire world until that moment." Blaster sadly frowned in response to the story. "Locking emotion away and surviving the aftermath was all that concerned me, _until now_. You mean as much to me as my fathers or as any one of my cassettes… _Please_ do not go."

Blaster shook his head and made a half-sparked attempt at tugging his hand out of the grip it was in. "Don't say things like that to me; you're just makin' this harder. Our cassettes are why I'm doin' this. It's better for both of us."

Soundwave knew Blaster would leave the moment he let go of his hand. He had one last ditch move to make. One he had reserved on purpose. His voice and words could only convey so much thanks to his vocalizer's damage. Despite how much he hated his appearance, he knew so long as Blaster couldn't see his true optics under his visor he'd never understand just how much Soundwave meant every word he said with his monotone voice. He gave Blaster's hand a gentle squeeze. "I am scarred from the bombing. My vocalizer fails to express more than just words to you."

"Huh?" Blaster's optics were glossy with coolant as he gave Soundwave yet another puzzled look.

Fear gripped his spark, knowing that his face was not considered attractive due to the mismatched paneling. He was scared his appearance might hurt his case more than help, but it was the last thing he could try. He just hoped by sharing his true face, which was something he so fiercely held as private, he could express what words were failing to. With those lingering thoughts, he dimmed his optics and initiated the sequence to open his facemask and retract his visor. He felt his hand suddenly squeezed hard as his optics fought to adjust the change in light and focus on his counterpart. Once they did, he was met with the sight of Blaster staring at him with wide, overly bright optics.

Soundwave made one last plea. "Please do not go. Stay with me."

One moment Blaster was ready to yank his hand free and walk away despite the feelings of grief that overcame him from having to end this friendship. The next moment his spark was surging in his chest and doing something he'd never thought it was even capable of doing: It was _fluttering_.

Completely dumbstruck, Blaster could nothing more than stare at the beautiful face Soundwave had just revealed to him. He focused on his features, which were refined-looking and accented by two brilliant, gold-colored optics. The 'scar' Soundwave mentioned was simply a deeper colored piece of facial paneling that ran the length of the left side of his face. Blaster thought it added to his already exotic looks.

It was more than his physical appearance that made him look so amazing, though. The fact that Soundwave was sharing something Blaster knew was deeply personal for him showed just how far he'd go to try and keep Blaster close.

"You're so beautiful," Blaster said absently, as he gazed at Soundwave.

His lovely golden optics brightened and Soundwave reached up to briefly touch the darker paneling. "My scar is unattractive."

Blaster moved closer instead of pulling away. He reached up, running his fingers down the supposed scar and causing Soundwave to faintly tremble in response. He smiled brightly at him. "All I see is a mark of a survivor."

Soundwave's optics dimmed then shifted their focus to their linked hands. "Does this mean you will not go?" This time, Blaster saw in his counterpart's face his fear of being rejected. The mask and visor had hidden away more than his beautiful, youthful face. It had been a last small wall standing between them. Without it there, Blaster could see for himself that there was no hidden agenda or possible deception on Soundwave's part. This mech before him was simply terrified of losing something precious to him, which was Blaster.

"Well now I can't," Blaster said as he playfully shoved Soundwave's shoulder with his free hand. "You're such a fragger, you know that?"

"I do not understand." Now it was Soundwave's turn to be confused.

Blaster took hold of Soundwave's free hand and pulled it to his chest, pressing it over where his spark was pulsing hard and fast. Soundwave's gaze shifted to their hands. "Feel that?" Blaster asked. "That's my spark choosin' you. I was tryin' to end things because deep down I think I knew this might happen." He shook his head at himself, realizing just how true his words were. Living in denial of the feelings he knew he was developing for Soundwave had been out of his own fear of being dumped yet again.

"My spark is like that around you," Soundwave replied, as his worried expression softened and he pulled Blaster's hand back to his chest in a mirrored gesture.

By the casual nature of his reply, Blaster realized Soundwave had no clue how significant a spark fluttering really was. He flexed his fingers against Soundwave's chest over the purple faction symbol, feeling the vibrations from the spark within reverberating through the glass.

"I enjoy your touch," Soundwave said as his optics dimmed.

He stared at Soundwave's exposed face, wondering how this would even begin to work out while knowing there was no escaping the fact that they were meant for one another. All his time searching for a love that would fill the void in his spark had ended right here, right now.

Jazz's earlier words suddenly echoed in his processor. _"Trust me, there's someone out there who's gonna not only love ya, but _need_ ya in their life. Someone that you'll wanna protect and go to any length to make as happy as they make you."_

Soundwave was unlike anyone Blaster had once dated or even had a crush on. He was cunning and an intelligent Decepticon warrior and at the same time he was an innocent and inexperienced mech that needed solid guidance. Blaster's spark pulsed happily knowing he would be the one to offer that guidance along with all the love he felt bursting inside him.

Blaster's gaze drifted to Soundwave's lips, which were ever so slightly parted as he continued to press Blaster's hand to his chest.

"I really want to kiss you," Blaster said in a hushed voice.

Soundwave's gaze met Blaster's. "I have no experience with kissing."

"That's okay." Blaster pressed close, causing their abdomens to touch. He unwound his linked hand from Soundwave's and snaked his arm loosely around to his waist as he leaned in so close their noses nearly touched. "Is it all right for me to be your first kiss?"

Soundwave looked surprised for a moment, then he seemed to relax a little and nod. "Of course." Soundwave's free then hand moved to the same spot on Blaster's hip that Bluestreak had touched when they kissed. This time, though, the touch lit Blaster's sensory net on fire, causing a pleasant sensation to ripple over his dermal plating in response.

A huge smile spread across Blaster's lips as he stared into Soundwave's gorgeous optics, which were trained on him. "I can't believe you're hidin' such amazing optics under that visor. I don't think I've ever seen a mech with gold optics before."

"Yellow optics were a trait specific to the inhabitants of Meblon. I am one of a very small number of survivors, hence the rarity," Soundwave replied. "I didn't want them to be altered when entering the Decepticon army and requested the visor."

"I'm glad you kept 'em the way they are 'cause they're really beautiful." Blaster leaned in and lightly ghosted his lips against Soundwave's. "Ready?" he whispered.

Soundwave faintly nodded.

Blaster gently mouthed Soundwave's lower lip first, then slid up so their lips met full on. Warmth spread between them as the pliable metal of their lips pressed and molded together. A soft-sounding whine escaped Soundwave's vocalizer in response. Encouraged, Blaster greedily pushed for more and parted his lips, pulling Soundwave's with his and then slipped his glossa past the opening. Soundwave's hand on his hip suddenly tightened its grip. Blaster teased the opposing glossa with his until it responded, leading to a light wrestling between their linked, heated mouths. It was a long, slow, _amazing_ kiss.

As with all good things, it did eventually come to an end, and Blaster broke their lip contact, pulling back to gaze once again into Soundwave's optics, which were now out of focus and dazed-looking.

"Did I perform the kiss correctly?" Soundwave asked with a vaguely concerned look on his face.

Blaster nodded and grinned.

A small smile curved Soundwave's lips. Blaster's spark pulsed hard in his chest at the stunning sight of that smile. "I can't get over how pretty you are."

With his hand still over Soundwave's chest, he felt the spark beneath start to pulse harder, too. "I am not used to such compliments," Soundwave replied.

"You'll get used to 'em with me around." Blaster let his gaze drop down to his hand. He traced the Decepticon symbol emblazoned across the glassy center of Soundwave's chest. "So, what _are_ we going to do 'bout the whole faction thing?"

"The solution is simple. I will leave my faction," Soundwave replied.

Blaster's gaze shot upward, locking with Soundwave's. "You'll become an Autobot?"

"No." Soundwave canted his head. "I would like to become factionless."

"Oh," Blaster replied. Made sense, though. He'd never be accepted as Autobot anyway. In fact, as soon as Blaster's comrades found out about them he'd probably be removed from duty himself. Perhaps being factionless was the best option.

"There are preparations to be made before I leave the Deceptions, however," Soundwave said with a frown.

Blaster frowned back at Soundwave, trying to imagine how one actually quits being a Decepticon. Run away? Hide? "Should I even ask what yer gonna do?"

"The less you know, the safer you'll be." Soundwave leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together.

The tender gesture rendered Blaster a lovesick mass of metal and all he could do was nod in agreement.

"May we try another kiss?" Soundwave asked as his gaze dropped down to Blaster's lips.

"Slag, yeah," Blaster replied with a small laugh.

Logic dictated that since Blaster's past choices had been huge mistakes that this choice might also end disastrously. Still, he had never felt as sure about anything as he did about the love Soundwave's presence evoked within him. No one in his life had managed to mean as much to him as his cassettes, but he had an undeniable desire to protect, love and give his all to this mech, just like he did for his creations.

As their lips met again for another incredible kiss, Blaster mentally vowed to do all he could to ensure Soundwave would end up safely by his side. War and factions had lost all meaning. Afterall, they were Cybertronians before they had been Autobots or Decepticons, and he had waited his whole adult life to find the mech that would stir his spark like this. No way in Pit was he letting go of him now. He'd do whatever it took and fiercely protect what was precious to him, cassettes and Soundwave alike.

…

"I'm fraggin' bored," Rumble said with a frown.

Laserbeak cocked his head to one side as he looked over at Rumble.

A new spacebridge location was being built on Earth's moon. Megatron sent half the crew there under Starscream's supervision to work on the new project while he remained on base. The group sent up included Soundwave who had been asked to help oversee the construction, since the Constructicons had a tendency to cut corners. He took Frenzy and Ravage with him, but left Rumble and Laserbeak behind to continue monitoring communications in his absence.

"Megs ain't gonna ever say somethin' about his plans over the comm. lines," Rumble said as he huffed air from his intakes. He was sitting on the desk with the computer console in their quarters to keep a close eye on the comm. lines during first shift with Laserbeak at his side.

Laserbeak squawked in response to Rumble's comment. To anyone else that sound was meaningless, but Rumble recognized it as a question. His and Frenzy's creator had several cassettes aside from them. Stellar cycles of time around all his sibling cassettes had taught him how to read the sounds and body language of the non-verbal creations.

"Ol' Megamoron's been extra secretive about this project. Usually he tells the Big Guy all about it, but this time he's talkin' to that fragger Shockwave, instead," Rumble replied.

Scooting closer, Laserbeak hunkered himself down to sit right beside Rumble facing the computer console screen. Rumble lightly patted the predator bird's back as he refocused on the computer screen, watching to see if the comm. line for the Control room or Megatron's personal quarters lit up.

"This whole thing with the Autobot guy has got me worried, too." Rumble frowned. "Unlike you and Ravage, me and Frenzy ain't connected to the Big Guy. I can't tell how he feels about that Autobot or anything directly, but it seems like he really likes him. He's been in such a good mood since he saw him the other day, it's kinda freakin' me out."

Laserbeak squawked again, but this time in a softer tone. It sounded like empathy to Rumble.

"I dunno. When stuff changes it's usually a bad thing. Soundwave's still a kid in a lotta ways, but he's so good at foolin' everyone they don't even know it. What if he makes a bad move and gets us all slagged 'cause of it?" Rumble knew Soundwave would never put them in danger intentionally, but his changes in behavior and his unwavering focus on the dual-pulse Autobot was cause for concern. "And what if he ends up liking that Autobrat more than me and Frenzy? What if he stops caring about us?"

Laserbeak rested his head on Rumble's leg and dimmed his optics.

"You're lucky to have a connection to him, 'Beak. I wish we did," Rumble said with a sad frown.

Rumble remembered just how scared of Soundwave he was when they first met. He seemed so cold and detached. At the time, Rumble figured he'd make an escape once Frenzy was fixed. He sat right beside his brother on the small desktop in Soundwave's quarters watching as he carefully made repairs. His hands were swift and yet gentle with Frenzy's frame as he worked to fix internal systems that had been knocked out of whack from being smashed around in the strong box their creator placed them in for safety. Once Frenzy onlined Rumble had hugged his brother to his chest and gazed up at Soundwave with awe.

There was no proper description for just how deeply Rumble cared for Soundwave. He had saved his twin brother. He had protected them. He had made sure they got what they needed, whenever they asked. He had treated them as if they were his own creations. In return, they tried to protect him as well. Offered him their friendship and unconditional devotion. It had been steady, nearly perfect balance they had achieved, and now it was all under threat. That Autobot was a dangerous distraction. Frenzy had been right, though. Soundwave wasn't the kid they first met, and no matter how much Rumble wished otherwise, the Big Guy needed more than just his creations to be happy.

"Change is dumb," Rumble muttered.

Laserbeak suddenly perked his head up and started to squawk loudly.

Rumble glanced at the monitor, seeing the Control room comm. line was on. He pressed the screen to listen in on the conversation.

:: All the parts are ready for transport, Lord Megatron, :: Shockwave said.

:: Good. I expect you to arrive with the transported materials in order to aid in construction, :: Megatron replied.

:: Of course, my lord. Have the rest of the Decepticons been informed of the master plan yet? :: Shockwave asked.

:: Not yet. I know Starscream will put up a fuss about blowing up this planet, so I have been holding back all the details. The amount of energy to be harnessed from its destruction will be more than enough to power Cybertron into the next millennia, with the added bonus of finally ridding myself of that wretched Prime. Such a perfect plan! :: Megatron started to laugh, clearly pleased with himself.

:: As always, Lord Megatron, you have all the angles covered. I will see you at the site in four Earth days. Shockwave out. ::

"That insane fragger is gonna blow up Earth," Rumble said as he quickly worked to encrypt a message to Soundwave. This was bad. Really bad. The type of situation that Rumble worried might lead Soundwave to making rash decisions in order to save his Autobot friend. "Listen, we've gotta be extra diligent about making sure the Big Guy doesn't do something stupid, 'kay?" Rumble said as he looked at Laserbeak.

A squawked reply told Rumble that Laserbeak understood.

He just hoped they could actually protect Soundwave. One thing he had learned over the stellar cycles was that Soundwave always thought several steps ahead and prepared for multiple outcomes.

"I'll be slagged before I let anything happen to the Big Guy," Rumble commented as he hit send on his message.

* * *

_A/N- The plot moves forward with the next chapter! More squishy moments coming up with a huge dose of angst… Thanks for reading my fic! I appreciate all the wonderful, thoughtful reviews. :3 _


	8. Partial Equations

Title: Everything Will Change: Partial Equations

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

"I want so badly to _believe_ that

There is truth, that _love_ is real

And I want _life_ in every word

To the extent that it's absurd…" -'Clark Gable' by Postal Service

* * *

Focusing on his surroundings had become secondary over the last few Earth days for Blaster. If left alone, he simply would begin replaying the life-changing events he'd experienced with Soundwave. The heated paneling of their frames touching; soft, pliable lips that were Blaster's for the taking, and those dazzling golden optics gazing at him… These memories had become all-consuming thoughts for Blaster.

His worries for Soundwave's safety, the sparklet he had growing against his spark, and the cassettes also weighed on Blaster's mind. Their situation was intensely complicated, muddling any sort of clear path to happiness for them. Still, Blaster's optimistic side hoped that he could push past the obstacles to finally have the love he'd longed for as his side.

"Right, Blaster?" Jazz asked.

Blaster glanced at his best friend. "Huh?"

"I was just sayin' that this movie is supposed to be scary." Jazz canted his head and his visor dimmed.

"Oh, yeah. Tracks said the twins picked a scary one." Blaster sat on one of the couches in the lounge with Jazz sandwiched between him and Prowl. It was movie night. Something Jazz liked to organize to get the crew to relax and socialize outside shifts. Every couple of weeks someone else would pick a human movie for them to watch. This week the twins had chosen 'Alien'.

"You've been spacey lately, man. Everthin' okay?" Jazz asked.

Blaster nodded and smiled. "Oh yeah. I'm just a little distracted that's all."

Prowl didn't say a word, but a small frown curved his lips in a downward shape as if he appeared worried.

"Distracted, eh?" Jazz grinned. "I hope it's a _good_ distraction."

A genuine smile overtook Blaster's lips. He could hardly contain his desire to tell Jazz _everything_, but he needed to keep his secret…for now anyway. "Yeah. It is."

Jazz laughed a little in response.

Prowl then asked Jazz about their plans for after the movie was over and Blaster zoned out again, his gaze wandering the lounge full of his comrades as he further pondered his situation with Soundwave.

Blaster glanced at the large twin warriors across the room. Sunstreaker sat on an opposing couch in a relaxed position with his arm propped up on the back with Tracks seated beside him. On the floor at his brother's feet sat Sideswipe. Smokescreen crossed the room and sat down beside the large red warrior and to Blaster's surprise, Sideswipe snaked an arm around Smokescreen's waist and hugged him to his side.

Thoughts of Soundwave were momentarily derailed, replaced with confusion. Hadn't Sunstreaker said Sideswipe liked Bluestreak?

"I wonder what humans think scary is? Ain't nothin' scarier than Sunstreaker when he gets his paint chipped!" Jazz laughed and elbowed Blaster's side.

"Perhaps we will get some sort of insight into the human psyche by seeing what they imagine an alien life form aside from us looks like and how they envision handling them," Prowl said in his usual dry tone.

Jazz burst out laughing. "Oh man, Prowler. You're so… _Prowl_." Blaster glanced at them. Jazz was goofily grinning while a small, amused smile graced Prowl's lips. Blaster could see just how in love they really were. His feelings of jealousy were long gone now, his resentment replaced by understanding. Now if only he could figure out how to handle bringing Soundwave to base without it turning into a huge disaster.

Blaster's thoughts started back on their usual track, looping around Soundwave, until he spotted Bluestreak darken the doorway. His gaze followed Bluestreak's, which was pinned on Sideswipe and Smokescreen. He quickly glanced back at Bluestreak just in time to see his doorwings droop down as he spun around and left the lounge.

_Poor Blue… _

"Ah, I gotta go." Blaster got to his feet.

"Go where? The movie's startin' in a minute." Jazz looked almost hurt by Blaster's abrupt attempt to leave.

Blaster tapped his chest. "I have something that needs tendin'. I'll hurry up and come back."

"Oh. Heh, all right. Don't be too long," Jazz replied.

Blaster nodded to both of them, then left the lounge. He felt vaguely guilty about using his cassettes as an excuse to Jazz, but it wasn't totally a lie. More a false implication…

Bluestreak's distinctive shape came into view when Blaster rounded the hallway towards the barracks. He jogged toward the young gunner. "Hey Blue!"

Bluestreak came to a stop and turned his gaze to Blaster. His bright optics were glassy-looking, as if he was about to cry. "Blaster?"

"I saw ya duck out of the lounge. Just wanted to see what's up. Don't like scary movies?" Blaster tried to maintain a light tone in his voice. He really wasn't sure why he felt compelled to talk to Bluestreak. Maybe it was due to how deeply he could sympathize with him, or maybe he still felt a little guilty about allowing that kiss between them to happen. Either way, Blaster wanted to help Bluestreak if he could.

"I wasn't in the mood. I'm just gonna go to my room." Without another word, Bluestreak turned away from Blaster and continued down the hallway.

"You wanna talk about it?" Blaster asked.

Bluestreak glanced over his shoulder. "Not really."

Those were the least amount of words Blaster had ever heard come out of Bluestreak's mouth. Being alone while feeling rejected hadn't helped Blaster at all, and he highly doubted it would help Bluestreak.

"Want to hang out in my room? Meet my cassettes?" Blaster offered.

A surprised look swept Bluestreak's face. "Really? But I thought you never showed them to anyone. And besides, I kinda messed up our friendship and all because of the—"

"Don't worry about all that. You're my friend, Blue. I promise. I've just been really distracted lately. Come on. I know you want to meet 'em." Blaster smiled at Bluestreak.

"Um, okay. If it's really okay with you and everything."

"Of course it is."

Blaster led Bluestreak to his quarters. They walked side-by-side in silence until they reached Blaster's door. Bluestreak being so quiet and withdrawn was spark-breaking to see. Once they were inside, Bluestreak stood awkwardly in the center of the room looking around. Blaster had put up various concert posters he'd collected from Earth, which had captured his guest's attention.

Although Blaster wanted to offer a friendly audio for Bluestreak to vent or unload his burden to, he also didn't want to pry. It was up to Bluestreak to share if or when he was ready to. In the meantime, Blaster could only offer his friendship.

"So, you want to meet 'em?" Blaster asked.

Bluestreak's gaze snapped back in Blaster's direction. "I do, but I know they're special to you so if you don't want to that's okay."

"You know, I hide 'em because of how every one reacts to them." Blaster touched his chest, and couldn't help but think of Soundwave. Blaster had kept his creations out of sight not just for their protection, but also to help himself fit in better. Whereas Soundwave had no such qualms about letting his out around others, and allowed them much more freedom. It was actually an aspect of his counterpart's personality Blaster envied. He wished he could be that confident in who he was. He locked gazes with Bluestreak and decided that as small a step as it was, he wanted to share them with his friend. Blaster half smiled. "You ready to meet 'em?"

Bluestreak nodded as his gaze dropped to Blaster's chest.

Blaster ejected his creations one by one. Eject and Rewind landed facing each other and stretched their arms over their heads. Steeljaw landed right beside Blaster and focused his attention on the visitor. Ramhorn transformed and then lumbered over to the table where Blaster stored his extra energon rations for them and sat down, waiting expectantly.

"Ah, Ram, it's not time for fuelin'. I let ya out to meet Blue, here," Blaster said to his creation.

Ramhorn glanced over then got up and stalked back over, only to flop onto the floor beside Steeljaw.

"Heh, they are all so cute. Hey, the mini-mechs can talk, right?" Bluestreak asked.

Blaster nodded. "Yep. They are still maturing, so they tend to speak in shorter sentences."

Bluestreak squatted down and waved at Rewind and Eject. "Hey there, guys. I'm Bluestreak, but everyone calls me Blue. It's nice to meet you."

"Hi," Eject replied. "This is Rewind." Eject pointed at his brother.

Rewind shyly averted his gaze to the ground.

"He's scared of your back things." Eject canted his head.

"My back things?" Bluestreak looked confused.

"Your doorwings." Blaster knelt down on the floor behind his mini-mechs and hugged them at their waists, pulling them close. "Blue is very nice, and those are just part of what he looks like."

"Oh," Rewind said as he looked up to stare at Bluestreak's doorwings.

Bluestreak's sad look faded to a warm-looking smile as he gazed at Eject and Rewind. "I can't believe that you made them. It's so incredible."

Rewind shifted his gaze to Blaster. "Can we go build?"

"Sure. Have at it." Blaster let go, and Eject and Rewind headed for their small-scale city of parts.

Ramhorn grunted as he got up, walked over to Bluestreak, then flopped on his side on the floor right next to him.

Blaster laughed. "Ram likes ya."

Bluestreak grinned as he patted Ramhorn's belly. The bright smile was short-lived, though, replaced a sad expression. "At least I know someone can like me, I guess."

Blaster knew how much being rejected could hurt, and it pained him to see someone as sweet as Bluestreak in so much pain. "You know Blue, I'm happy to listen if all you want to do is talk."

A resigned-sounding sigh of air escaped Bluestreak's intakes. "I told him." Bluestreak lightly petted Ramhorn's side. "And he said it could never work. Now he's seeing Smokescreen and I just…" Bluestreak's voice wavered and he trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

"So it was Sides, huh?" Blaster said in a softened tone.

Bluestreak nodded as his optics grew glassy-looking from coolant pooling on their surface. "Of everyone, he picks Smokescreen. Maybe I'm just not flashy enough looking. Or maybe I'm not funny enough. Or maybe I'm…I dunno, too boring."

Blaster moved to sit beside Bluestreak. "Maybe it's not you at all. Maybe it's Sides. Maybe he picked another mech with doorwings because he wishes he could be with you."

"But if that were true, why would he tell me 'This could never work'?" Bluestreak asked as he turned to look at Blaster, with a couple of tears escaping down the cheeks of his sweet-looking face.

"I'm not gonna pretend to understand a twinned sparked mech, but I do have a little insight 'cause of my spark. Maybe he told you that because he does have strong feelings for you." Blaster canted his head. "The twins can't bond. Maybe he's trying to protect you and himself, too."

Bluestreak's gaze shifted to the floor, as he appeared to ponder Blaster's words. "You think that's it? 'Cause you know I don't care about that. The bonding, I mean."

"Well, in my experience _most_ mechs do care about bonding." Blaster didn't know for sure, but he had a feeling the twins probably had similar experiences of rejections to his own.

"All I care about is Sides," Bluestreak said as he looked back over at Blaster. "I've loved him from the moment I met him, Blaster. What do I do? How do I get him to see me the way I see him?"

"You can't get him to 'see' things like you, but you can tell him what you just told me. Tell him you love him no matter what and always have," Blaster replied. Above all else, Blaster wanted to believe in the power of a spark to love. That love had the ability to transcend all obstacles in its path. Maybe it was a completely selfish desire on Blaster's part to believe in such a lofty ideal of love, seeing as he wanted his love of Soundwave to be stronger than the war raging around them, but he also firmly believed that such a love existed for everyone. "Give it one more try and talk to him again."

Bluestreak stared at Blaster for a long moment. "Sounds like you're speaking from experience."

"Maybe," Blaster said with a small smile. "I really do think he's just tryin' to protect you both without realizin' he's hurtin' you in the process, though."

"Yeah, maybe he is..." Bluestreak forced a small smile then glanced back at Ramhorn and continued to pet his belly.

In Blaster's mind, life shouldn't be ruled by circumstance alone. That fate could only affect their lives to a point, beyond that it was up to them to get what they needed or wanted. Besides, it seemed like anything truly worth having always took effort, which made it all the more rewarding in the end. He wanted to believe with all of his spark that with a little extra work he and Soundwave would have a life together and that Bluestreak could find happiness with Sideswipe. That life could be so much more for all of them, even in the midst of a war. "You gonna try to talk to him again, you think?"

"Yeah." Bluestreak glanced back at Blaster. "If I can catch him alone, I will."

"Well, if there's anythin' I can do to help, you let me know," Blaster said as he smiled brightly at Bluestreak.

Bluestreak nodded.

"You want to play, Blue?" They both turned their attention to Eject who had apparently wandered over when they weren't looking.

"Um, sure. What are you guys playing?" Bluestreak replied without missing a beat.

Eject grinned. "Come and help build!" Eject ran back over to his brother and waved at Bluestreak to join them.

Bluestreak scooted across the floor and sat beside Eject and Rewind helping them move pieces of their play city around. Steeljaw even went over and sat down to watch. Blaster couldn't help but smile at the sight. Despite the sheltered lives his creations lived, they were still friendly and accepting of someone new. He hoped when the time came, they'd be as open around Soundwave and his cassettes. He felt both nervous and excited when he thought about his creations meeting Soundwave's for the first time. If only it were as simple as stealing Soundwave away from the Decepticons and bringing him back to base…

Or maybe it _was_ that simple.

They were set to meet in a couple of Earth days anyway, which presented an ideal opportunity. Blaster didn't see the point in waiting, anyway. Their sparks had chosen each other, and that was reason enough to jump right in the deep end for Blaster. Besides, he didn't want to lose the mech he had waited so long to find to the war around them. Every moment Soundwave remained with his faction the more danger he was in, plus there was the matter of his sparklet. Unlike other medics, Ratchet had made Blaster's last sparklets' separation practically painless. He highly doubted the Constructicons would be as gentle and wanted a less painful experience for Soundwave, too. He wanted to give him all he could. Blaster decided at that moment he'd try and convince Soundwave to leave his former life behind and start a new one with Blaster as soon as possible, even if that meant dealing with the mess bringing a Decepticon to base would cause.

He watched Bluestreak playing with his cassettes and hoped for both their sakes that love could be stronger than fear.

…

After living in survival mode for so long, Soundwave was looking forward to finally living his life for himself. The news of the communication Rumble picked up between Megatron and Shockwave only hardened his resolve to destroy their corrupt leader. Soundwave had been excluded from the actual building of the laser cannon over the last Earth week, but he had overseen the construction of the base that housed it. Every security system was under his control, and no one would be able to break his encryption.

Soundwave had several contingency plans sets up, but the overall goal was to destroy the laser cannon, base, and Megatron in one large explosion. It was a matter of waiting for the right moment to set his plan in motion. Currently, Megatron had most of the crew back on Earth busily working to repair the Nemesis with the parts Shockwave had sent over the spacebridge. Megatron wanted their battleship back in working condition so it could transport their troops back to Cybertron along with what he touted would be a substantial amount of energon. Megatron had conveniently left out the part of the plan to destroy the Earth in the process of obtaining said energon, though.

A small frown pulled at his lips in response to his thoughts. Soundwave flew through the sky towards his and Blaster's meeting place. It was early afternoon on Earth, and Soundwave just had finished pulling two shifts back to back to help repair some of the secondary computer systems aboard the Nemesis. Soundwave didn't have any time to spare for recharging if he wanted to make his pre-arranged meeting, and Primus knew how badly he wanted to see Blaster again. He had left all his cassettes in his quarters on the off chance something went awry, knowing that for the time being, that was the safest place for them to be.

Before he left for his get-together with Blaster, Rumble had protested loudly while Frenzy remained quiet on the issue. Despite his concerns about the brothers and their divergent reactions, he didn't have time to properly address them and left with things once again feeling unsettled, which now nagged at him.

Then there was his sparklet. A constant, dull pain radiated from his spark just like it had before both Ravage and Laserbeak separated, which meant this sparklet was very close to doing the same. He just hoped it would wait until after he set his plan in motion and escaped with his cassettes.

Reaching the area, Soundwave landed and walked towards their meeting spot. His processor felt like it might overheat from the multiple layers of thoughts he had going on at once: Destroy Megatron, escape with his cassettes, save his sparklet, protect Blaster—

"Hey you!" Blaster yelled out as he waved.

All of Soundwave's troubling thoughts slipped away the moment his gaze landed on Blaster. Despite how busy he had been over the last Earth week, it had also been an excruciating wait to see Blaster again. A smile tugged at his lips still hidden away behind his mask as he approached. "Hello."

A nervous flutter rippled through his spark as they drew closer. Their last meeting had ended in kisses and being physically close, but Soundwave was unsure how to properly act now. Should he hug Blaster as part of their greeting? Kiss, even? A relationship of this sort was something he had absolutely no experience with. He felt both excited and terrified all at once. The last thing he wanted was to fail at playing his part properly, but without any first-hand experience all he had to go on were his parents' interactions as an example. He was worried he'd accidentally do or say the wrong thing.

Blaster seemed to sense his hesitancy, and stopped about arm's length away as he warmly smiled at Soundwave. "Primus, it's good to see you. Waiting was like torture."

Soundwave nodded in agreement as he gazed into Blaster's pretty blue optics. His spark was both fluttering with his affection and contracting with small waves of pain from the sparklet. It was an odd juxtaposition of sensations.

"You okay?" Blaster asked after a moment, his smile fading to a look of concern.

Soundwave nodded again.

"You're being quiet, even for you." Blaster canted his head.

Soundwave could try to pretend he felt confident, or else he could simply be honest with Blaster. He shifted his gaze down to the ground. "I am nervous."

"That's okay." Blaster reached out and took hold of Soundwave's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Soundwave looked back up at Blaster. "I am just unsure how to properly act due to the change in the nature of our relationship."

"Act like yourself." Blaster stepped a little closer. "'Cause from my point of view, you're perfect just as you are."

A shiver ran down Soundwave's back strut in response. Such total acceptance was something he'd _never_ known. "I tend to be awkward in your presence."

Blaster grinned. "I know. It's cute."

Soundwave squeezed his counterpart's hand. Blaster also had the unique ability to make him feel so incredibly special.

"I want to see the faces I know you're making behind that mask of yours." Blaster reached up with his free hand and lightly traced his forefinger down the center of Soundwave's mask plate.

Obliging the request, Soundwave retracted his mask and visor. His optics flickered off then back on, adjusting to the change in the light. His optics then focused on Blaster's grinning visage. "Better?" he asked.

"Primus, I'm still totally blown away by those optics of yours." Blaster moved even closer, as if magnetically pulled.

Soundwave's spark swelled in its chamber in response. This feeling of love was so powerful. It filled him with an amazing sense of worth he didn't normally feel. No longer a spectator, but a participant in something his parents and every medic that had ever treated him told him would be impossible to experience. "The way you make me feel is extraordinary."

"Same here." Blaster touched his chest. "I feel like my spark is going to explode when I'm around you."

Soundwave smiled as he glanced at his counterpart's chest plate. He would never have guessed his curiosity about a mech with a spark like his could have led to all this.

"And that smile of yours makes me feel like my joints might melt." Blaster laughed as he feigned said 'joint failure' and fell forward.

Soundwave wrapped an arm around Blaster's waist, catching him, and Blaster happily pressed their frames together as he let go of Soundwave's hand to encircle his arms around his neck instead. Their faces hovered close, and Soundwave sensed what might happen next. Sure enough, Blaster tipped his head to one side and lightly brushed their lips together. From completely awkward to totally in sync, Soundwave pressed his lips to Blaster's, officially initiating a kiss.

Why was this so easy? Soundwave had wondered ever since their first arranged meeting. Was it their shared experiences as dual-pulse sparked mechs? Was it their love of music? Was it the fact their personalities seem to perfectly compliment one another? Maybe it was all those things… and _more_.

Blaster pulled back, breaking their all too brief kiss. "Just what I wanted. How did you know?"

"It was what I wanted, too." Soundwave replied.

"You know what else I really want?" Blaster asked with a somewhat devious-looking smile.

Tensing, Soundwave was suddenly nervous Blaster wanted to try something like interfacing. Being inexperienced, he was not in any rush to try something like that so soon.

"I want you to come back to the base with me. Like _right now_," Blaster replied as a more serious look overtook his handsome features.

It took a moment to process Blaster's suggestion. "Base? Autobot base, you mean?"

"Yeah. Your sparklet's gotta be close to separating and Ratch is a great medic. I know it'll be a mess at first, but I also know Prime'll understand if I explain everythin'," Blaster said with a pleading look on his face.

Soundwave frowned. "I cannot go with you now."

"Why not? Now's the perfect time," Blaster replied with a pout.

"I do not have my cassettes with me and I have one last objective to meet before leaving the Decepticons." Soundwave gave Blaster's frame in his grasp a small squeeze. "It is for our collective protection."

"I thought you always carried your cassettes with you." Blaster frowned. "And what do you mean 'collective protection'?"

Soundwave wasn't sure if telling Blaster the details would worry him more or not. "I don't want you to be concerned for me. I simply want to secure safety for all of us."

An indescribable look crossed Blaster's face. He looked almost amused but had a decidedly disapproving grimace pulling at his lips. "I can't tell you how awesome it is to hear you refer to me, you and our creations as an 'us', but you better tell me what's goin' on. We gotta trust each other with big stuff like this."

It appeared that not telling him his intentions was going to upset him more than if he kept it to himself. Soundwave then looked Blaster square in the optics. "I am going to remove Megatron from power. That is the only way to ensure our safety."

"Are you serious?" Blaster's optics flashed overly bright with his surprise.

"Yes."

A worried look swept across Blaster's face. "Of course you are." A sigh of resignation escaped his intakes. "No way I can convince you to just grab your cassettes and come back, huh?"

Soundwave shook his head then leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together as he stared into Blaster's optics. "Please place your trust in me. The only way to ensure a positive outcome for us is to remove him from his position."

Blaster reached up and trailed his fingers down the side of Soundwave's face with the mismatched paneling, causing him to vaguely tremble from the intimate touch. "Then I want you to promise me somethin'."

Soundwave faintly canted his head. "And that is?"

"Promise me that no matter what happens, you'll come back to me," Blaster said in an exceedingly serious tone of voice. "'Cause two sparks choosing each other is a huge deal, let alone _our_ two sparks choosin' each other. I don't want to lose you now that I finally found you. So please promise me. _Promise _you'll come back to me."

Soundwave nodded. "I promise."

Blaster leaned forward and buried his face in the side of Soundwave's neck, as he pressed close. They stood hugging each other tightly. A long silence followed, not that Soundwave minded. The feeling of Blaster's frame pressed against his was making his plating tingle all over and his spark pulse wildly. His pleasure was edged with sadness, though. Worrying Blaster was the last thing he wanted to do, but he also wanted to be honest and retain the trust they had in one another.

As foolish as it looked from the outside, taking down Megatron really wouldn't be all that difficult. Soundwave had no reason to betray his leader until now. He just hoped his plan went as smoothly as he wanted. Everything was in place; all he needed was an opening to initiate the destruction sequence. Once Megatron was gone, Soundwave could freely engage in moments like this one without worry. Having something to fight for other than survival was certainly far more empowering than he'd imagined. He would hold true to his promise, not just for Blaster but also for himself. A lifetime of being an outsider had been painful and lonely. This was his chance to finally belong. His chance to truly live life for once… and _nothing _was going to stand in his way.

…

After a quiet shift, Blaster walked towards the common room intending to have some energon. He felt totally dazed, though. An unsettled feeling had taken hold, ruining his formerly good mood from a few days earlier. Seeing Soundwave had been both wonderful and spark-wrenching. He wanted to steal him away back to the base, but it was clear there was no changing Soundwave's mind. A nagging sense that something bad might happen plagued him. Soundwave was in danger and he was helpless to protect him. Blaster huffed air from his intakes in frustration.

"The one thing I really wanted to do for him I can't…" Blaster quietly said to himself.

"For who?"

Blaster stopped in his tracks and turned halfway around. To his surprise, he saw Sideswipe standing a few paces away in the hallway. "Uh, no one."

"Blue?" Sideswipe asked with grimace.

_No_, but Blaster decided to go with it. "Well…maybe."

"You two seeing each other again?" Sideswipe's posture was unusually stiff as he spoke.

Blaster shook his head. "No."

"Oh." Sideswipe shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

Blaster glanced around, and noted that the nearest mechs were inside the common room some distance away. He then focused his gaze on Sideswipe. "Not sure why it would matter to you, even if we were."

Sideswipe frowned deeply. "It doesn't!"

Blaster reared back from the unexpected raised voice.

Balling his hands into fists, Sideswipe quickly averted his gaze to the floor. "You know, I wish things were different, but they aren't. And it's too much to ask and not fair to him." Sideswipe glanced back up at Blaster. "You know what I'm saying?"

"I think so." Blaster sadly frowned. "But you aren't givin' him enough credit."

Sideswipe's optics brightened. "What do you mean?"

"I don't really wanna interfere. Look, just go and talk to him. Like, actually talk to him," Blaster replied.

"What the frag does that mean?" Sideswipe asked with a disgruntled look on his face.

"It means you're blowin' your chance at somethin' worthwhile. It's scary to risk everything but nothing worth having comes easy, Sides." Blaster stepped closer to Sideswipe and spoke in a softer voice. "He's been to Pit and back. I want to see Blue happy for once, don't you?"

Sideswipe sighed air from his intakes, showing his resignation as he locked gazes with Blaster. "Yeah. I do."

"Then talk to him." Blaster smiled at Sideswipe.

Sideswipe nodded in agreement.

Blaster nodded back, then continued toward the common room. He felt a little bad for interfering, but Sideswipe was being an idiot and Blaster honestly wanted to see Bluestreak smiling again. He wandered over and grabbed a ration of energon, pondering whether he'd done the right thing or not. After all, who was he to be doling out advice when he was keeping such a huge secret himself? Still, it was so plain to see how they belonged together…

"Hey man!" Jazz's voice was so distinct. Blaster turned to see him alone at a table in the common room. "Come sit with me."

Blaster smiled, pleased with such a warm greeting from Jazz. He plopped down in the set beside his best friend.

"You never came back that night after the movie and I haven't seen ya since. What's up, man?" Jazz sounded concerned.

"Sorry 'bout movie night. I wound up running into Blue and he needed some cheerin' up." Blaster didn't bother concealing his desire to frown. Before, he'd hide behind faked smiles, but they seemed to take so much effort now in comparison to the way he'd find himself grinning around Soundwave. Besides, he was tired of the masquerade. He wanted to just be himself around Jazz. "And I got moved to first shift again."

"Yeah, I'm on a special schedule fer the next couple of Earth weeks. Ops stuff… Gotta head out in an hour, actually." Jazz half smiled. "Blue, huh? Reconsiderin' him or somethin'?"

Blaster shook his head at Jazz. "Nah, I was just hangin' out with him 'cause he was bummed out."

"Ah, I see." Jazz took a swig of his energon. "Well, when our shifts line up again, let's go do somethin' fun."

"Sure thing." Blaster sipped at his energon. _It's scary to risk everything but nothing worth having comes easy. _He thought about his own advice and then glanced at Jazz. "Hey. Did you ever ask Prowl to…you know…?"

Jazz's grin grew huge. "Yep."

"And?"

"We haven't picked a date yet, but he said 'yeah'." Jazz looked so proud and happy all at once. "We want to meet with Prime and tell 'im before we do anythin', though. In case there's an issue or what not."

"Think he'll say no or somethin'?" Blaster asked, genuinely curious.

"Nah. Prime may be strict in some ways, but he's got a soft spark. He said once to all the officers in a meetin' somethin' to the effect of: just 'cause this slaggin' war has made such a mess of things don't mean we should stop livin'." Jazz canted his head to one side. "I'm gonna take that bit of advice to spark."

Suddenly, Blaster wanted to tell Jazz all about Soundwave. About how Soundwave was nothing like the image they all had of him. How war had determined his side in it, leaving him no choice. How gentle he really was, how sweet… This war had certainly complicated something that should have been easy for Blaster. "Hey Jazz?"

"Yeah?"

"We can trust each other, right?"

"Of course." Jazz looked a little worried. "Why? Somethin' wrong?"

"Not exactly." Blaster averted his gaze to his energon cube. "I haven't told you 'bout somethin' going on, but it's 'cause I can't say anything yet. Even though I really want to." He then looked back up at Jazz. "But when it's okay for me to say, I want you to know I'm gonna tell you first."

Jazz reached over and squeezed his forearm. "You can tell me anythin' anytime ya want to, even now if ya gotta. We can go someplace else now if ya need to talk."

A genuine smile spread across Blaster's lips. Jazz was so amazing. Their friendship had weathered so much, and it appeared to not only still be intact, but stronger than ever. Unable to control himself, Blaster had to at least tell Jazz what it was about, even if he couldn't say who it concerned. "I am for real in love with someone, but I can't tell you who, yet. When I can, I will, though."

"For_ real_ in love? Like, spark flutter and everythin'?" Jazz looked surprised.

"Yeah. The whole thing, Jazz." Blaster felt his smile slip into a wide grin. Admitting out loud his feelings for Soundwave was enough to give him that amazing lovesick, spark-fluttered feeling.

"Wow." Jazz play-shoved Blaster's shoulder. "An' yer gonna make me wait to find out who?"

"Sorry. I just can't tell you. I'll tell you as soon as I can. I promise." It wasn't a complete confession, but it was close. And Blaster suddenly felt lighter as a result.

"Well, you tell me the _second_ you can. 'Kay?" Jazz said, elbowing Blaster.

"I will." Blaster just hoped that whatever Soundwave was going to do would happen sooner rather than later. The wait was excruciating and frustrating. Being able to share with Jazz eased his stress a little, though. At least his best friend knew, even if he didn't know who.

_Hurry up, Soundwave. I want you here with me safe and sound. _Blaster thought to himself as he fingered his energon cube.

…

Something didn't quite feel right, but Soundwave couldn't quite place where his unease was coming from. He had been in the middle of reprogramming the navigation systems for the Nemesis when Megatron ordered him to return to the moonbase at once. The abrupt order could mean trouble at the base, but he saw nothing out of the ordinary once he arrived.

He walked down the hallway at an even pace toward the main control room on the base, his steps echoing off the metallic walls. What could have been so urgent that Megatron would have pulled him away from the work on the Nemesis?

Upon entering the main control room, Megatron spun in his seat at the computer console, his optics narrowing as they focused on Soundwave. Standing just beside him was Shockwave who also turned his one optic in his direction. A sudden sinking feeling struck Soundwave.

"Well, if it isn't my most _trusted_ officer," Megatron said with a distinct sneer in his voice.

Something was _definitely_ wrong…

Soundwave rarely felt alarmed by anything, but Megatron's tone was the same he used when he was about to punish Starscream for misbehaving which more often than not ended in a physical altercation. He needed to remain calm and composed, though.

"Shockwave picked up some interesting footage the other day that he shared with me. Would you like to see?" Megatron pounded his fist on the computer console without breaking his gaze on Soundwave, and a video feed started to play.

Glancing at the screen beside Megatron, Soundwave watched with horror as a video file of him and Blaster hugging close from a few days before played on the screen.

The world came to screeching halt.

"No sound was recorded, since this was from a video feed of a human satellite. Care to fill in the dialogue for us, Soundwave?" Megatron's voice was low and menacing. Shifting his gaze back to his obviously enraged leader, Soundwave could see the seething anger practically roll off Megatron's frame.

Too shocked to properly answer, Soundwave simply shook his head.

"I can't quite make out what they are saying from their lips, but it does appear they may be planning something against the Decepticons," Shockwave said as he focused on the monitor.

How had this happened? Soundwave had done nothing to warrant being spied on. Had Shockwave had been tracking his movements on_ purpose? _But if so, _why?_

Soundwave shifted his gaze the one-optic'ed mech, trying to wrap his processor around the 'why' of Shockwave's motives. This was a mech that been in charge of Cybertron _until_ Megatron awoke. A mech that might be resentful of losing the power he once wielded. A mech that might very well have plans all his own and could be looking for a scapegoat... _Fraggit_. Soundwave had somehow missed that possible angle.

Megatron rose from his seat and took heavy steps toward Soundwave.

Now what should he do? Fight? No, he'd be killed for sure. He needed to stay alive in order to set his plan in motion and keep his promise to Blaster.

"Aren't you pleased I decided to keep tabs on the crew, Lord Megatron?" Shockwave then added.

Megatron narrowed his optics on Soundwave. "Unlike Soundwave here, you have proven your commitment to me." Megatron then shoved his laser cannon under Soundwave's chin. It whirred as he charged it up. "Tell me why I shouldn't obliterate you on the spot for betraying me!"

'_I can't wait for the day you finally frag up.'_ Starscream's words suddenly came to the forefront of Soundwave's mind. As much as it galled him, Soundwave realized he needed to act like Starscream and seem sorry, even if he wasn't. "There was no sharing of intelligence. I apologize for my severe lack of judgment."

Megatron leaned so close their noses nearly touched as he stared down Soundwave. "Tell me all you all you wanted was a good frag and I'll _consider_ simply tossing you in the brig until I decide an appropriate punishment. _Or_ I may still slag you."

Soundwave nodded, his chin hitting the rim of the cannon barrel. "You are correct in your assessment, Lord Megatron."

Megatron lowered his cannon, but didn't back away. "Of all my officers, I trusted you the most; your devotion and willingness to do as I commanded being your best qualities. You've lost my respect _and_ your place at my side."

Finally pulling back, Megatron appeared to be done with his reprimand as he took a couple steps away. Then, without warning, Megatron spun back around and backhanded Soundwave's face so hard he stumbled backward. His mask loosened from the blow. Distracted by his pain and his attempt to keep the mask in place, Soundwave was taken by total surprise when Megatron knocked him to the floor by kicking one leg out from under him. He landed with an echoed thud, pain flaring across his sensory net from the impact. His sparklet seemed to react to the violent fall, causing yet another layer of pain to flare inside his spark, too.

Megatron stooped over Soundwave. "Next time you get that itch to frag someone, keep it within the ranks. Assuming I _ever_ forgive you for this." Megatron straightened back up.

_Is this finally over?_ Soundwave wondered as he tried to cope with the immense pain now raging throughout his frame. Then, as if in slow motion, Soundwave watched Megatron shift his weight and kick him in the head full force. The impact was sharp and agonizing, causing his vision to flicker, but his discomfort was short-lived.

_My promise…_

The world went black.

* * *

_A/N: Oh noes! A cliffhanger! No worries, next chapter shouldn't take as long to get posted up. Thanks to those who are still reading this. :3_


	9. Probabilities

Title: Everything Will Change: Probabilities

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

A big Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro& Starfire201.

"I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up.  
If I could stand up mean for the things that I believe." -'L.E.S. Artistes' by Santigold

* * *

Slowly, the world around Soundwave came into focus. A throbbing pain rippled across his sensory net. To his relief, he also felt the dull pain of the sparklet pulsing against his spark. He had no idea the extent of the damage it might have been dealt, though. Glowing energon bars in his peripheral view told him that he was inside the brig cell. He lay silently on the floor, not yet ready to move his battered frame. He needed to clearly think through his change in circumstance and decide the best course of action.

Escape from the cell would be easy. Every security system on the base was actually under his control, since he had designed it that way. He could remotely open the door at any point, but seeing the amount of rage that exploded from Megatron made it clear that his betrayal wouldn't be mitigated by further betrayal. Not only that, he worried that his actions might have negative consequences for his cassettes. Guilt filtered through him, causing a flash of heat over his face plates. He had done what he promised he'd never do: put them in danger.

_Promise… I promised Blaster I'd return to him, too. _

How could he have let everyone he cared about down so thoroughly? How could he have missed the angle with Shockwave? In retrospect it was so obvious. He had been distracted, though. Even when he had been busy doing detailed programming sequences on base for the Nemesis, his thoughts always drifted back to Blaster. Thundercracker's words of warning about how love led to recklessness resonated for Soundwave now.

Sighing air through his vents, Soundwave finally decided to move and pushed himself up into a seated position. He looked down at his dented frame, then lightly touched his helm where the plating was now concave. His vision wasn't quite working properly with flickers of white interrupting his visual feed.

Simply put: He was a wreck.

Voices echoed down the adjoining hallway. He listened as best he could, trying to determine who was speaking. The shrill pitch of Starscream's unique voice gave the flier away. Soundwave turned his gaze to the doorway that led to the hallway beyond. Of all the contingency plans Soundwave had made, blackmailing Starscream was actually one of the best options. If only he'd come into the room _alone_. The chances were slim for engaging in private conversation, though.

Frowning behind his loosened, cracked mask, Soundwave prayed to Primus that this opportunity be granted to him. It would be the simplest and most effective way to regain his power over the situation.

The voices grew louder. The clack of turbine feet against the metallic floor echoed.

"I'll meet you two in the control room in a moment. I have something I need to take care of," Starscream said.

Sure enough, Primus granted Soundwave's prayer, and Starscream strutted through the doorway alone. With one hand on his hip, Starscream swaggered over to the cell with a smug smile curving his lips. "Lookie what we have here: Megatron's favorite pet in his cage. Interesting position you've landed yourself in." Starscream leaned forward and sneered."So, I heard you were caught fragging some Autobot."

They had kissed and held each other, nothing more. Soundwave knew how the rumor mill among the Deceptions worked, though. Small assumptions were often blown out of proportion and taken as truth. "Not true," Soundwave replied, his voice filled with static.

"Oh? So there isn't footage?" Starscream smiled as he flicked his wings. "I heard Shockwave recorded the whole thing."

"There is footage." Soundwave reached into his sub-space pocket and pulled out one of the copies he had of Starscream and Skyfire's kissing session. He tossed the small datadisc toward Starscream. It skidded across the smooth floor and made a clinking sound as it tapped Starscream's foot and came to a stop.

Starscream frowned, then stooped down and plucked the disc from the floor. "You recorded yourself fragging that Autobot? I thought you were a little off, but not that—"

"It is not footage of my encounter," Soundwave interrupted.

A confused look crossed Starscream's face. "Then what's it a recording of?"

"See for yourself." It was Soundwave's turn to be smug. He smiled a little behind his broken mask as he watched Starscream stalk over the computer terminal in the room and slide the disc into the reader.

The small screen lit up with the recorded footage and Soundwave watched Starscream's wings tense and quiver just before he ripped the disc from the reader and spun around. Enraged, Starscream stomped over to the cell. "You fragging followed me you Pit-spawned-slagging-defect-sparked-aft-wipe? How_ dare_ you? I should finish the beating Megatron started!" Starscream shouted.

Soundwave didn't respond. He had observed Starscream from afar and knew that Starscream's desire for self-preservation would trump all else. No matter how angry he got, he'd backpedal on any threats to be sure he wasn't the next victim of Megatron's rage.

Starscream narrowed his optics, then dropped the disc the floor and stomped it into pieces. "All right, you fragger. Since I am sure that wasn't your only copy of the footage, I'm left to assume this is blackmail. _What do you want?_"

Finally, something was going his way. "Only one request: Retrieve my cassettes from the Nemesis and deliver them to Skyfire."

"Skyfire…? Why the frag do you want me to-" Realization bloomed across Starscream's face. "Oh, wait. You want him to take them to that Autobot you were caught with, don't you?"

Soundwave nodded.

Canting his head, Starscream narrowed his optics."Why don't you want them back here with you?"

"It is not safe." Soundwave wasn't going to give away his plans to Starscream if he could help it, but Starscream wasn't stupid, either. He'd probably see through the veiled comment.

"Not safe, eh?" Slowly, the anger faded away from Starscream's face, replaced by curiosity. "Should I infer that my fliers and I are better off not being near the base as well?"

Soundwave nodded again.

Starscream returned to his usual haughty pose with one hand on his hip, though he still sported a small frown. "What are you up to, Soundwave? Knowing you, something is brewing here."

"It is none of your concern," Soundwave replied. "All that is of any concern are my cassettes' safety."

Suddenly, Starscream's expression shifted to a softer, almost sympathetic gaze. "They are quite important to you, aren't they?"

Maybe it was the pain raging through his frame, or perhaps it was the idea of letting Blaster and his cassettes down. Either way,Soundwave was tired of this conversation and just wanted Starscream's compliance. "All that matters are my cassettes and the Autobot, Blaster. Nothing else means anything. I will do what I need to do to ensure their safety." Letting an exasperated hiss of air escape his intakes, Soundwave asked one last time. "Will you deliver them or not?"

"Keh. I never imagined you had a single passionate diode in your entire frame." Starscream grinned wickedly. "I rather like seeing some fiery passion coming from you. I don't know what you have planned, but as long as you promise me that_ I'm_ going to be the one left in charge, then I'll make sure your cassettes are safely delivered to Skyfire. Deal?"

"Deal."

Finally, progress.

Starscream strutted to the doorway, then paused to look back at Soundwave. "Passion is a powerful tool. Be sure to use it to its full potential."

Staring after Starscream, Soundwave mulled over the words that only a few Earth weeks ago would have sounded like poetic gibberish to him. He realized that until Blaster entered his life, he had been stuck in an emotionally stunted state, unable to see anything beyond his day-to-day life. Things were so radically different now. The light at the end of his tunnel of numbness was fueling him to act boldly. He wanted to be free of the binds this war had him in.

The moment he felt through his thin bond to Ravage and Laserbeak that they were with Blaster, he'd make his move.

…

"Something is really wrong, Rumble," Frenzy said, unable to hide the panic in his voice.

"Yeah but the Big Guy said to stay here." Rumble's own worry permeated their bond.

Soundwave had left all the cassettes in his quarters with strict orders to stay in the room and not leave. That wasn't all that unusual. He had left them all together in their quarters plenty of times. What _was_ unusual was the way both Ravage and Laserbeak were acting.

At the very same moment, they both began to freak out. Ravage whined while Laserbeak squawked non-stop. After the initial raucous they made, Ravage started slamming himself into the door and Laserbeak fired on the door with his lasers. The brothers had to act quickly, disarming Laserbeak to prevent any of them from being harmed by reflected laser fire bouncing off the metallic door.

"What do we do, Rumble?" Frenzy asked.

"I haven't a fragging clue," Rumble replied.

Frenzy sunk down to sit on the floor, watching Ravage's continued efforts to try and break the door down. He then glanced over at Rumble who hugged Laserbeak tightly to himself in order to keep him from erratically flying around the room. Soundwave's creations had _never_ acted like this before.

Rumble glanced at Frenzy. "You think he's dea—"

"Shut up!" Frenzy shouted. "Shut up, shut up! Don't even say that!"

"Calm down! I was just trying to think of why they're acting like this," Rumble snapped back.

Frenzy shook his head. "They are trying to get to him… He must be hurt. That's gotta be what it is."

"Yeah. You're probably right. Maybe we need to go find him then. I mean, what if it's thesparklet? Maybe it separated while he was on the moonbase." Rumble's voice wavered slightly.

The sound of beeps from the door lock being overridden caught the brothers' attention. The lock was encrypted, though, and the override was denied as it made a double beep.

"Who is that?" Frenzy jumped to his feet and grabbed Ravage around his middle, trying to pull him away from the door.

The door continued making a series of beeps; each time the access was denied. Frenzy managed to pull Ravage back and was using all his strength to keep the turbo cat from charging at the door again. Fear that Frenzy hadn't felt since the day he and Rumble lost their own creator now gripped his tiny spark. "Rumble… I'm _scared_."

"Frenzy, don't worry. I'll protect you—"

A blast echoed in the small room from the entry way and the broken door was shoved aside. Smoke curled around in the air, then parted to reveal Starscream holding a metallic container that he dropped to the floor. "I don't have much time. You all need to get in this box, _now!_"

"Why the frag would we do that?" Rumble shouted.

"Because Soundwave asked me to retrieve your little afts and deliver to you that Autobot he's been seeing. Now get in!" Starscream pulled back the lid and motioned to them.

"How do we know he sent you?" Rumble yelled. "You've got no proof you giant flyin' tin can!"

Ravage broke free of Frenzy's grip and to his surprise, transformed and landed in the box.

"What the frag?" Rumble said as he glanced at Frenzy.

"Let go of Laserbeak," Frenzy replied. Rumble complied, letting go of Laserbeak. Sure enough, he did the same thing as Ravage and transformed, landing in the container.

"Now you two!" Starscream said in a brisk tone.

"Where's Soundwave?" Rumble asked.

"On the moonbase, in the brig. He was caught on a video feed with the Autobot he wants me to deliver you to. Now, stop asking stupid questions and get in!" Starscream flicked his wings in annoyance.

"Is he hurt?" Frenzy asked.

"Ugh!" Starscream reached down for Frenzy, but Rumble jumped in front of himand hadhis arm caught in the flier's grip instead. "Listen! I don't have more than a small window of time to get you little pit-spawns to safety before I'm noticed. Now stop fragging around and get in the container!"

"Answer the question!" Rumble said as he struggled inStarscream's grasp. "Is he hurt?"

"Megatron beat the slag out of him when he found out," Starscream yanked on Rumble and picked him up, depositing him in the container then slamming down the lid. His gaze shifted to Frenzy. "Get over here."

"No!" Frenzy spun around and ran toward the berth, sliding beneath it and wedging himself against the wall in the farthest corner.

"Come back, here, you little fragger!" Starscream's arm flailed under the berth in an attempt to grab him, but Frenzy managed to dodge the blindly grasping hand. Then the flier shifted to peer under the berth; his red optics narrowing as he deeply frowned. "What part of 'I don't have time for this slag' do you _not _understand?"

"How badly hurt is he?" Frenzy asked.

Starscream let out an exasperated sigh of air from his intakes. "He's pretty slagged up."

Frenzy's fears intensified. "Will he… die?"

"From his injuries? Probably not. From being a love sick fool? Possibly. Now get out from under there!" Starscream reached again, this time stretching his arm out far enough to grab hold of Frenzy's foot and pull him out from under the berth.

With every ounce of fight left in his frame, Frenzy squirmed and struggled against Starscream's hold. "We have to save him! Let me go!"

"_You_? Save_ him?_A bunch of little cassettes? Now that's pretty funny," Starscream chuckled as he approached the container with Frenzy in his grip. "Listen, he's finally made a choice that isn't based in his processor but his spark. Now you want to rob him of the glory of fighting for something worthwhile? How selfish of you."

Frenzy stilled. "What do you mean by that?"

Starscream canted his head. "It's like how I shoved Skyfire away to protect him. Making choices based on how we feel in our sparks often means doing crazy things."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. It's not important. Just stop fighting me and get in the fragging container already," Starscream snapped.

Tears of coolant pooled on Frenzy's optics. "But I don't want him to die…"

"I'm sure you don't." Starscream lowered Frenzy to stand beside the container, but still held his upper arm tightly in his grasp. "If you want my honest assessment, I'd say he has a 50/50 chance. In the end, this is his battle to wage, not yours."

Frenzy sadly stared at the container, trying to process everything. Soundwave might die _because_ he had fallen in love. Rumble had been right about it being dangerous to talk to the Autobot, but Frenzy felt in his own spark that Soundwave was much stronger than Rumble gave him credit for. Up until now, they had all worked together as a unit. Fought together. As painful as it was to think that Soundwave was keeping them away on purpose,Frenzy also understood Soundwave was doing his best to protect them because he loved them.

Over his bond to Rumble, he felt his brother's resignation. Their emotions were running higher than usual; Rumble must have felt Frenzy's own acceptance of their situation. He then looked up at Starscream. "Then take us to the Autobot, if that's really what Soundwave wants."

…

The buzzer to Blaster's quarters sounded. Blaster dimly lit his optics as he focused on the door, unsure if his audios were fritzing or not. After all, it was the middle of the night. Why would anyone be buzzing his room now?

Sure enough, it buzzed again.

Blaster slid off his berth and wandered to the door. His processor was racing as he reached out for the switch to open it. Maybe it was Jazz with a problem? Or maybe it was Bluestreak needing to talk to someone? To Blaster's complete confusion, he was greeted with the sight of the large flier, Skyfire, clutching a metallic box to his chest. He had run missions with the flier before, but they were not in the same social circles on the Ark at all. Dumbfounded, Blaster didn't even greet his late night visitor, just stood and stared at him.

"May I come in?" Skyfire asked in a hushed voice.

"Uhh, sure…" Blaster stepped back and watched Skyfire duck under the door frame's top edge as he stepped into the room.

"Sorry, I know it's late and all," Skyfire said in a sheepish voice.

"No offense, but why the slag _are _you buzzin' my room in the middle of the night, anyway?"

Skyfire heaved a thick sigh of air through his intakes, then very carefully placed the box in his grip down on the floor. "To deliver this to you."

Blaster's gaze shifted to the container. "Couldn't wait until mornin'?"

"No. And…I'm going to ask for your discretion here. Please don't tell anyone I'm the one that brought it here." Skyfire sounded nervous.

Refocusing on his unexpected visitor, Blaster frowned. "What do ya mean?"

"I mean…" Skyfire trailed off as he stared down at the container. "Open it and you'll understand. I'm going to have to go, though."

Perplexed, Blaster nodded. "Okay," he replied as he watched Skyfire quickly exit his quarters, the door sliding shut behind him.

Blaster knelt down, and fingered the latches on the front. He was reluctant to open the box without knowing what was inside. Blaster sucked in a draught of air and let it escape his intakes before he undid the latches, and then liftedthe top. To his complete shock, Rumble and Frenzy were sitting inside each holding a cassette to their chests.

"Hey there, Autobrat," Rumble said with a frown.

"Rumble!" Frenzy scolded.

Ravage transformed as he leapt out of the box, followed by Laserbeak transforming and flying around the room, ultimately choosing a place to perch on Blaster's desk.

"Leave it to that lazy fragger, Starscream, to cram us into a container too small for all of us. My leg joints have cramps now." Rumble said as he stiffly climbed out the container followed by Frenzy.

Blaster stared at the twin mini-mechs in disbelief. Soundwave had sent his cassettes here? But why? And wait…_Starscream_? Was Skyfire secretly seeing the Decepticon SIC? Was this all really happening? A smashing sound interrupted Blaster's train wreck of thoughts. Ravage had rammed himself into the door, and trotted back to make another charge at it. Blaster quickly moved to grab hold of the turbo cat, holding him around his middle.

Frenzy stared at Ravage and frowned."The Big Guy is in trouble."

"They've been actin' like maniacs for a while now," Rumble added. "Like they wanna get to him."

Blaster glanced at the mini mechs. "In trouble?"

"Starscream said Soundwave was caught with you, and Megs slagged him up," Frenzy said, his voice wavering as he spoke.

"What?" Blaster's worst fears were suddenly realized. He had reluctantly trusted that Soundwave could handle his self-assigned mission, but now it seemed his worry was well founded.

"Yeah. We really outta get up to the moon-base and rescue him. So let's get a move on, Autobrat," Rumble stalked over the door and folded his arms against his small chest.

"But Rumble, Soundwave sent us here so we'd be safe," Frenzy replied.

"Frag being safe! What's the point of bein' safe if he's slaggin' dead?" Rumble shouted.

Blaster's spark contracted in his chest as the gravity of the situation suddenly hit him hard. The act of sending his cassettes to Blaster was about far more than wanting them to be safe. It was about having someone Soundwave trusted to look after them in case he _died_. But what in the world could Blaster do? He had not only his own cassettes to look out for, but now he had Soundwave's, too. He couldn't run to his love's rescue no matter how much he urgently wanted to.

Sinking his entire frame to the floor, Blaster's hold on Ravage turned into a hug as he clung to the turbo cat that reminded him of first creation that he'd lost. The thought of losing Soundwave felt spark crushing.

"I don't know what to do." Blaster heard the quiver in his voice and frowned.

"We stop sitting around here like a bunch of fraggin' morons and go save his aft!" Rumble's arms moved to his sides as his small hands pulled into balled fists.

"You think Soundwave wants us all to get slagged trying to save him? He sent us here because it's not safe where he is!" Undertones of desperation bled into Frenzy's angered reply to his brother.

"I don't give a frag! I don't want him to die!" Rumble's sharp tone faltered, exposing the fear he felt.

Frenzy looked at Blaster. "There isn't anything we can do, is there?"

Blaster gazed at the mini mech, seeing how scared and worried he was. "I can't run off and save him, no matter how much I want to. Besides, I'm not a warrior that's strong enough to go up against someone like Megatron." Blaster deeply frowned. He had never wished he was stronger and more powerful before, but at this moment he suddenly felt so weak.

"_No one_ can take Megs on. We'd have to sneak in," Rumble replied.

"Sneak in…" Blaster repeated. The clouds of desperation momentarily parted. That description had brought one mech to the forefront of his mind: Jazz.

No other mech was better at infiltrating Decepticon strong holds and escaping with intel while still in one piece. But how in the name of Primus could he ask Jazz to save Soundwave? After all, Jazz was the third in command. He'd be compromising everything he'd earned over the stellar cycles. And for what? A friendship? Blaster unconsciously shook his head, knowing it was something far too big to ask of him.

Blaster glanced at Rumble and Frenzy who were staring at him, looking for an answer to their dilemma. Dread permeated his own spark at the notion he might lose Soundwave. Maybe it was seeing the passion Soundwave's cassettes exhibited, or maybe it was the fear of losing the love he'd waited so long to find… Either way, Blaster suddenly felt an intense strength of resolve he'd never felt before overtake him. Asking Jazz to help him was his only real option...

"I'm gonna ask for help," Blaster said.

"Help? What do ya mean?" Frenzy asked.

Blaster felt Ravage's struggling stop as he turned his head to look up at him. He had never really looked that closely at Ravage before, but he could see he was the same design as Tracker, the only difference being the black coloring where Tracker had been white. His desire to protect Soundwave also meant protecting his cassettes. He just hoped Jazz would hear him out.

Blaster glanced at the mini mechs. "I have to do somethin' but I also want to make sure I take good care of you guys. I can't protect you all _and _go save him myself, but I can ask my best friend to go for me. I just hope he'll say yes."

Relief spread across in Frenzy's face, and a reluctant look of trust crossed Rumble's.

"Then what are ya waiting for? Ask!" Frenzy replied.

Blaster opened up a communications channel and pinged Jazz.

…

Rolling his head back against the berth, Jazz groaned. Prowl's glossa trailed over his curved chest, pausing to rim a headlight. Primus, Prowl knew exactly how to get Jazz's engine revved. The affection and desire that Prowl brought to the berth had been the last thing Jazz expected when they started seeing one another. Under that cool exterior pulsed a warm, deeply passionate spark.

Jazz grinned as he watched Prowl slowly work his way down Jazz's frame with his glossa and fingers, so deftly hitting sensitive spots that no other lover had ever found on his frame. Prowl's fingers grazed the edge of his interface panel cover, and Jazz groaned in response, his systems instantly charging with anticipation.

That's when his comm. line pinged.

"What the frag?" Jazz said with a frown.

Prowl paused his ministrations, and glanced up at Jazz. For a moment, Jazz stared at Prowl's curiously tilted head. Primus he was beautiful. His lovely red chevron, the curve of doorwings, his light blue optics peering back at Jazz…

"Something wrong?" Prowl asked.

Jazz's comm. line pinged again. "I'm gettin' a ping."

"Might be important. It's pretty late, after all." Prowl crawled back up and lay down on his front beside Jazz.

"But what you were doin' was important, too," Jazz replied with a grin.

"Hm." Prowl half smiled. "We can pick up where we left off later."

Jazz sadly sighed air from his intakes, then opened his comm. line. :: 'Sup? ::

:: Jazz. I need your help. :: Blaster replied.

The tone of his best friend's voice instantly worried Jazz. He had never heard Blaster speak in such a solemn voice before. :: Okay. What'cha need? ::

:: Could you come to my quarters? :: Blaster asked.

:: Right now? :: Jazz was confused. It was the middle of the night. Maybe this had to do with the 'love' Blaster mentioned the other day when they talked? A frown pulled at his lips. Maybe things had ended badly.

:: Yeah. Right now. Please… :: Blaster's voice wavered.

Something was definitely wrong.

:: Be right there, :: Jazz replied.

He glanced at Prowl. "Blaster's havin' some sort of issue. Wants to talk."

"Go," Prowl replied with the hint of a frown.

Dealing with Prowl and Blaster had become a tightrope walk for Jazz. Prowl was so secure in who he was when it came to just about everything he did, but whenever Blaster was mentioned it was clear he felt threatened. He hoped once they bonded, Prowl would finally know how much Jazz truly loved him. He cupped Prowl's cheek and lightly ran his thumb down his cheek seam. "I'll be back as soon as I can, so we can pick things back up, 'kay?"

Prowl's optics dimmed. "Of course."

Making his way down the hallway toward Blaster's room, he felt a pang of guilt. He hated that Blaster had become a sore subject for Prowl. He had tried to get them to hang out together in hopes of a friendship forming, but it hadn't worked yet.

At Blaster's door, he hit the buzzer. The door slid open and without a second thought, Jazz entered and the door slid shut behind him.

Blaster was sitting on the floor of his quarters and for a second Jazz thought his optics were on the fritz, since it looked like the mini mechs standing just behind him were the Decepticons, Frenzy and Rumble. After a moment, he focused on the turbo cat Blaster was holding onto in his lap and realized that it _was_ Ravage. His optics were not fritzing at all.

"Blaster!" Jazz pulled out his weapon and charged it, taking aim at Ravage as he quickly looked around the room for the Decepticon communications officer, Soundwave. All he saw was Laserbeak who squawked when he glanced his direction, sitting on the desk.

"This guy is gonna shoot us before helpin' us," Rumble said.

"Jazz! It's okay. Put your rifle away. They aren't gonna do anythin' to you," Blaster said in an unusually commanding tone.

"What the frag is goin' on, Blaster?" Jazz didn't lower his weapon.

Blaster held up an arm and waved at Jazz to put his rifle away. "I promise, they aren't gonna attack you."

Slowly, he lowered his weapon as he locked gazes with Blaster. "Explain what the frag is goin' on, man."

"Remember how I told you I'm in love with someone?" Blaster asked as he winced.

It was then Jazz put two and two together. Blaster's secret about who he loved coupled with the presence of Soundwave's cassettes in his quarters led to only one answer. "Soundwave? Yer in love with _Soundwave_?" It was a processor blowing realization. His best friend had been seeing a Decepticon in secret? "How the frag could you fall for that evil son of a glitch, Blaster?"

"Hey! He's not evil, you dumb-aft fragger!" Rumble shouted.

"Jazz, he's nothing like you think. He's actually very sweet," Blaster said, trying to explain.

"Sweet? That slagger has taken out hundreds of us over the stellar cycles assisitin' Megatron. The last thing in the world he could be is 'sweet'." Jazz was shocked at Blaster's revelation, angry that he'd kept this secret from him, and somewhere inside a little hurt that Blaster loved someone like Soundwave. The abstract concept of Blaster saying he was in love was one thing, but knowing who it was had somehow altered how Jazz felt about it.

"He's not gonna help us, is he?" Frenzy asked as looked at Blaster.

"Please, Jazz. Try and understand." Blaster's optics grew glassy-looking, like he might start crying. "I _love_ him. He makes my spark flutter. And he's not the monster you think. Everything he's done as a Decepticon has been for survival and to protect his cassettes. Besides, he's only a Decepticon 'cause they're the ones that took him in after his home town was blown up by the High Council."

"Yeah. He's the best. He's taken care of me and Frenzy like we were his own after our creator was killed," Rumble added. "You don't even know anythin' about him."

Jazz felt like his view of the war and world around him was being flipped upside down. These cassettes weren't his? He was a Decepticon by circumstance? And then Jazz focused on his best friend and saw in his optics what he would see in Prowl's when they would confess their feelings to one another: the look of being completely consumed by love. "Spark flutter, huh?"

Blaster nodded. "The real thing, Jazz."

"I dunno, man. He's still a 'con. Were ya goin' to defect or somethin'? Or just keep seein' him in secret?" Jazz asked, genuinely curious, though it came out angry sounding when he asked.

"He wanted to remove Megatron from power, then come here to be with me. He said he wanted to be factionless." Blaster's gaze dropped down Ravage, sitting in his lap. "Whatever he was gonna do never happened, and apparently Megatron found out he was seein' me."

"The Big Guy got a beat down from Megs. He might die if he's left on his own. You gotta help us! You gotta go save him," Rumble said insistently.

Help them? _Save him?_"Whoa, whoa! want me to do_ what?_" Jazz asked.

"Go use your sneaky spy powers to get him out," Rumble replied as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world to ask.

Jazz looked back over at Blaster. "You maybe my best friend, but I'm not goin' rogue fer you."

Blaster broke their gaze and winced. "You were my last hope," he whispered. Tears of coolant escaped his optics. The amount of pain Jazz watched wash over Blaster's posture and face was spark breaking. Ravage shifted to lean into Blaster, and his best friend hugged the Decepticon turbo cat close. In an instant, Jazz's memory files were triggered.

He was reminded of the very first time he ever laid optics on Blaster. It had been very shortly after he arrived on the main base after the incident in the field with the death of his first creation.

.-.-.-.

_Jazz went to medbay to pick up his upgraded visor. Ratchet had been busy with another patient when he arrived, though. After a while, Jazz got bored with waiting and decided to wander around medbay poking at various things when he noticed a berth area that was completely curtained off. _

_Curious, Jazz moved closer and gently shifted an edge of the curtain to peer in. Curled up on his side, a mech lay on the berth with a clearly deceased turbo cat clutched in his arms. The mech was staring off into nothingness. As if he was unaware of anything around him. Although his stare was blank, the rest of his face expressed terrible anguish. Jazz focused on him trying to figure out why he was in the state he was in. _

"_What are you doing?" _

_Jazz nearly jumped out of his plating, surprised by the stern voice. He turned around to see Ratchet standing behind him, deeply frowning._

"_Eh, spyin'?" Jazz replied in a sheepish voice._

"_You leave him be," Ratchet replied sharply. He then held out Jazz's new visor. "Here. Now get out of my medbay."_

_Ratchet was a well-known grump, but Jazz usually ignored the dour attitude he sported. "What's with him holdin' that dead mechani-cat?"_

"_What part of get out of my medbay—"_

"_Aww, come on, doc. He's a lil' old to be attached to a pet." Jazz canted his head at the CMO._

"_He's a dual-pulse. That is not a pet. It _was_ his creation. And the chances he'll ever recover fully from the loss are pretty low at the moment." Ratchet didn't bother to hide the concern he clearly had for his patient._

"_Dual-pulse. Wow. Never met one before." Jazz glanced over his shoulder and looked through the small part in the curtain he'd made. "So losin' a creation is purdy traumatic, huh?"_

"_Very. Now do you mind? He needs rest right now." Ratchet grabbed Jazz's arm and jerked him toward the entrance. _

"_All right, all right, I'm goin'." Jazz sauntered out of medbay. As he wandered down the hallway, he fingered his new visor and thought about how it would be a shame that such a rare sparked mech might not recover. He made a decision at that moment to work on getting their paths to cross, so he could befriend him. After all, Jazz was charming and fun. He figured he'd be good at helping to cheer him up._

.-.-.-.

Despite the random nature of his decision at the time, Jazz knew it had been fate that threw them together. After he had managed to run into Blaster a few times in the common room, a friendship had easily formed. The sadness that once seemed like a permanent scar for Blaster had faded with time. And even if spark love wasn't part of the over-all scheme of things for them, Jazz still deeply cared for Blaster. He knew that was where Prowl's jealously stemmed from, too.

His best friend now sat before him, falling into pieces before his optics. This was different from the anger and hurt he saw when they'd had their fight a few orns ago. Jazz could see that same infinite sadness he'd witnessed Blaster have when he lay staring into nothingness on that medbay berth. The only reason for such an extreme reaction proved beyond a doubt to Jazz how Blaster felt about the Decepticon.

Blaster was in love with Soundwave.

"Fraggit." Jazz didn't want to put everything he had worked so far on the line in order to save a Decepticon, but at the same time deep in his spark he knew it was the right thing to do. Blaster deserved to be with the mech he loved, even if Jazz didn't approve of who it was. "Lemmie comm. Prime and Prowl and see what I can do."

Blaster stared up at Jazz with disbelief. "Yo-you're really gonna do this for me?"

"Yeah." Jazz sighed air from his intakes. "Who am I to say lovin' a 'con is wrong. Yer gonna love who ya love. I'll do what I can to save 'im."

"Jazz…" More tears escaped his optics, and Blaster quickly reached up to wipe them away. "Thank you."

"Sure thing." Jazz smiled at his friend as he subspaced his weapon. "This is gonna be ugly once they get here. Tell me when yer ready."

Blaster half smiled at Jazz. "Been prepping myself since I fell for him. Just comm. them, he doesn't have the luxury of time."

Jazz glanced down as he pinged Prowl and Prime at the same time. :: We've gotta situation. Please come to Blaster's quarters. :: Jazz very much hoped he could talk them into letting him go retrieve Soundwave. He wasn't sure he was ready to break regulations, even for his best friend. Maybe it was Prowl's influence or else his own sense of duty, either way he felt the rules were set in place to protect them. As much as he truly did love and care about Blaster, breaking them felt wrong.

He shifted his gaze back to Blaster, seeing hope lighting up his best friend's face. Yes, this was the right thing to do… even if he was a little hurt by Blaster keeping it a secret from him. "Man, I really wish you'd told me sooner, though."

Blaster frowned. "Like how you told me about Prowl right away?"

Jazz sighed air from his intakes at the stinging reply. "Point taken. Still, I was hopin' after our fight an' everythin' you'd stop hidin' stuff from me."

"I stopped pretendin' to be someone I'm not," Blaster replied. "Stopped actin' like I was totally fine when inside I was hurtin'."

A small smile curved Jazz's lips. Blaster really seemed to have grown up since their fight. Maybe having someone to love had helped him feel more confident and willing to accept himself. It was a good sign. Jazz loved Blaster, and had always wanted to see him happy. If it was Soundwave that was the catalyst for positive changes in Blaster, then Jazz was going to what he could to make sure Blaster didn't have any more reason to be hurt again by doing everything in his power to retrieve the Decepticon. He just hoped everything would fall into place so he could try and help Blaster.

…

Interruption after had felt through his creations that they were in Blaster's care, but moments before he was going to pop his cage door open, Megatron walked into the brig area.

Soundwave sat still in his cell, silently watching the hulking leader as Megatron paced back and forth for a kilk or so. He finally came to a stop and his dark red optics zeroed in on Soundwave.

"I should have you terminated." Megatron spoke in a low, rumbled voice. "Tell me, why after all these stellar cycles would you betray me in such a humiliating manner?"

There was no reply Soundwave could think of that would appease Megatron, so he remained silent.

Megatron tapped in a code on the small keypad beside the brig cell, and the glowing bars dissipated. He stepped inside the cell, his large imposing frame towering over Soundwave. Terror mixed with a pulsing pain and radiated throughout his frame.

"You do know, had you asked, I would have been happy to share my berth with you." Megatron bend down and reached out,lightly touching the dent in Soundwave's helm. His sensory net flared with a burning sensation where Megatron's fingers touched. He winced behind his half broken mask while stifling a grunt of discomfort. "Did you seek comfort in that Autobot's presence because he shares a spark like yours?"

Soundwave wordlessly nodded.

"I see." Megatron then crouched down and trailed his fingers over Soundwave's frame touching each dent and scape that he had made. "From this point forward you will have no need to seek the company of anyone other than myself. Is that understood?"

Internally, Soundwave cringed at the thought of being violated by Megatron, but he nodded in agreement, knowing that was what his faction leader wanted.

"Good." Megatron shifted to stand back up. "Now get on your feet. I am going to have Shockwave perform repairs on you."

Struggling to his feet, Soundwave nearly toppled over in his attempt to stand. Internal damage to his gyroscope made the task of balancing his battered frame nearly impossible. Megatron grabbed hold of Soundwave's upper arm and pulled him to lean against his side. Unable to repress it, Soundwave's body shuddered at the close contact. Megatron grinned at Soundwave, taking the reaction as attraction, when in reality it was out of complete repulsion.

He hated Megatron, now more than ever.

Soundwave's loyalty toward Megatron had been borne out of his basic need for survival. Now that he knew there was so much more to life than just existing, he had no desire to appease this megalomaniac any longer.

Soon he'd be free. It was a matter of a few breems now…

…

"Have you got a virus in your processor?" Red Alert asked.

"No," Jazz replied with a frown.

Jazz had contacted Prowl and Optimus, and the appropriate high-level officers were in turn alerted. Red Alert, head of surveillance, and Ironhide, head of security, now stood with him, Optimus and Prowl outside Blaster's quarters.

"A rescue mission to save a Decepticon is lunacy." Red Alert looked like he might blow a gasket.

"Red, let's calmly talk about this," Optimus replied in his usual fatherly tone.

"I tend to agree with Red, Optimus. Why the frag should we even believe Blaster? Could be a trap fer all we know," Ironhidereplied, adding his thoughts to the conversation.

Jazz had expected resistance. He was ready for it, even. What was disturbing him was Prowl's utter silence, though. He hadn't said a single word since they all gathered in the hallway. Jazz kept glancing at him, but Prowl wouldn't even make optic contact.

"Thing is, I know Blaster. He'd never endanger us. And he'd never trick us in'ta trap." Jazz looked to Optimus. "Please lemmie go. I can get in an' out and they'll never even know."

"While I would prefer to believe that Blaster has not betrayed us, I'm certainly concerned that Soundwave may have deceived _him_," Optimus replied.

"Then tell me why Soundwave's cassettes are here," Jazz replied as he motioned to the room they stood beside. "I'll tell ya. It's 'cause he wanted 'em to be safe here with Blaster. They said so themselves."

"Or else it's a ruse!" Red Alert said his voice pitching higher with his rising anxiety.

"It _ain't_ a ruse," Jazz replied with a frown.

Optimus held up his hands, gesturing to them to stop arguing. He then looked at Prowl, who had remained stoic in his silence. "Prowl, what is your analysis of the situation?"

Jazz tensed inside. He knew Prowl tended to go with logic over passion when it came to military matters. He hoped Prowl saw this wasn't just a military issue, though.

Prowl's light blue optics focused on their leader. "The probability of Soundwave separating himself from his cassettes while also attempting to deceive Blaster are around 2.55%. In other words, I believe everything relayed to us on this matter is quite close to the truth. I also believe that letting yet another Cybertonian perish at Megatron's hands, let alone a rare sparked one, is unconscionable. We are Autobots that value life. Enemy or not, I would recommend action to retrieve Soundwave. Though, in the off chance this has been an elaborate trap, both parties, Soundwave and Blaster, should remain parted until we determine the full facts of the matter."

Relief washed through Jazz.

"I tend to agree with you, Prowl." Optimus shifted his gaze to Jazz. "Take Mirage and have Omega Supreme prepped for the trip to the moonbase. Use extreme caution. If it looks like you cannot retrieve Soundwave safely, abort your mission."

"Yes, sir," Jazz replied, smiling up at his leader.

"Ironhide, I want assigned guards on Blaster's door for now, and Red Alert, scan the area diligently in case this is a 'ruse' of some sort. Dismissed," Optimus commanded.

The small group all headed off in opposing directions. Jazz watched Prowl turn and head towards the control room. He followed his lover, wanting a moment to thank him.

In the hallway just before the control room, Jazz caught Prowl's arm, causing him to stop and look back at Jazz.

"Thanks," Jazz said as he gently pulled Prowl closer and snaked an arm around Prowl's waist in a half embrace.

Prowl's doorwings perked up, and he frowned at Jazz. "It was an honest assessment, not based on our relationship."

"Yeah. Well, thanks all the same." Jazz leaned forward to steal a kiss, but Prowl jerked back. Confused, Jazz canted his head. "You mad at me?"

Prowl's gaze dropped down to Jazz's chest. "Your attention to Blaster's needs is quite…strong."

Jazz cupped Prowl's face and gently tilted it back up, so their gazes would once again meet. "You feelin' neglected?"

"I'm feeling—" Prowl's optics dimmed. "Worried."

"Worried? I've done plenty of missions way more dangerous. Ya don't need to worry 'bout me." Jazz smiled at Prowl.

"Worried he means more to you than I do," Prowl said, clarifying.

Jazz shook his head at Prowl. "Yer an idiot sometimes. I love _you_, Prowler. No one else. I care 'bout Blaster, sure. But yer the one that makes my spark go crazy. Yer the one I'm gonna bond to. Yer the one I want to spend my life with."

Prowl's doorwings perked up, but he still frowned. "I still worry that you'll grow tired of me."

"Nah. We've been friends fer'ever. If I was gonna get tiredof ya, it would have happened already." Jazz gave Prowl a small squeeze.

Prowl's frown faded. "You better return here safe and sound. Otherwise I will not forgive you."

"Noted. When I get back we can finish where we left off," Jazz replied with a huge grin.

"Hm. Perhaps instead of that, we should go ahead and bond," Prowl replied.

Jazz's optics brightened. "Ya want to? I'll do it now if ya want! I was just waiting ferya to give the go ahead."

Prowl then smiled. "I will put aside my nervousness about bonding, so long as you get back here safely."

"Sounds like a fair trade." Jazz leaned forward and caught Prowl's lips with his own. A short, heated kiss ensued. The love he felt for Prowl gave him a rush like nothing else could. He pulled back after their kiss, gazing into Prowl's lovely optics. "I love ya."

"I love you, too." Prowl vaguely canted his head as a small smile pulled at his perfect lips.

"I think Blaster deserves a chance at havin' this kinda love. Don't you?" Jazz said in a more serious voice.

Prowl's optics dimmed. "Do you truly believe that he loves Soundwave this way?"

"I do," Jazz replied.

Prowl hugged himself to Jazz, and placed a small kiss to Jazz's chin. "Then come back safely with Blaster's love."

A warm, thoughtful side lay hidden beneath Prowl's cool exterior, and Jazz loved that he was the only one that even knew about the romantic version of Prowl. He hugged him close, enjoying the warmth of his love's frame pressed close. With Prowl he felt safe to be himself. He could be goofy or serious or even sad, and never felt he had to hide any of his moods from Prowl. Jazz hoped that was what Blaster found with Soundwave. Though he had a hard time imagining Soundwave as something other than cold and sparkless, he realized appearances were just that: for show. His best friend deserved a love like this, and he'd do what was in his power to make sure Blaster had his chance.

…

The smell of mech fluid and newly soldered metal filled the air around Soundwave as Shockwave worked on his battered frame. Megatron stood in the corner of the room silently watching. The sensation of the sparklet struggling against his spark was making him wince behind his mask, which had yet to be removed for repairs. He hated that he was not only being repaired while conscious, but also while being so carefully watched over.

"How much longer, Shockwave? The laser cannon needs to be prepped," Megatron said, breaking the stale silence around them.

Shockwave paused his welding on Soundwave's abdomen. "I have a few minor repairs left, otherwise he's mostly functional."

"As soon as you're done, join me in the control room. I'll start prep on the cannon myself," Megatron replied.

Soundwave glanced over at his leader. Megatron met his gaze briefly, then turned to leave the small workshop area that Shockwave had made into a makeshift repair bay. The door the room snapped shut after Megatron disappeared.

"I thought he'd never leave," Shockwave said to himself. He stopped his repairs and rifled around the table beside where Soundwave lay. He picked up a small odd-looking device and swiftly plugged it into the port at the base of Soundwave's neck, while leaning his other arm and all his weight onto Soundwave's chest. His golden optic seemed to focus on Soundwave as a strange influx of data started streaming into him. Something was very wrong. Fearful, he tried to fight against Shockwave's hold. "Best not to struggle, the upload is almost complete anyway. I wrote the virus myself. Ah, there, done already." Shockwave pulled the device free.

Soundwave quickly ran diagnostics, but nothing was detected. He had added internal firewalls to his own systems over the stellar cycles, and hoped they would hold up against whatever Shockwave had just planted inside his systems.

"I cannot have you interfering. My plans are so close to completion. I had hoped my attempts to gain his confidence and exposing you would sever his attachment to you. I see now that he is not going to let go of you so easily." Shockwave's golden optic dimmed. "It's a shame that I have to destroy you, really. Being the only other survivor of our hometown, Meblon."

Soundwave stared up at that golden optic, his processor reeling at Shockwave's comments. "How…?"

"Dual-pulses are rare. Everyone in Meblon knew of you. I worked with your father, Distortion, at the energon refinery. He endured endless teasing from his co-workers in the pits because of you. I was in a higher position, so I only observed. But you look very much like him." Shockwave stepped back and went over to the computer terminal. "That virus will render you unable to move, shortly. Afterward, it will overwrite your processor and you'll no longer be able to function."

Soundwave's spark ached in his chest, this time not from his sparklet. His father had been ridiculed because of him? Harmony often showed the pain associated with how those around them would treat Soundwave, but never once had Distortion said or indicated he endured the same treatment. He always wore a smile, always looked after them, always offered unconditional love… His fathers loved him without pretense. Once he lost them, he lost hope of ever feeling that kind of acceptance again… until he met Blaster.

_Promise __you'll come back to me._

Time was running out. His firewalls were already starting to falter, as small script errors registered.

_Passion is a powerful tool. Be sure to use it to its full potential._

Pushing aside his usual methodic nature, Soundwave decided to act with impulse. He glanced at Shockwave, busily programming something. Freedom was so close, he couldn't hold back now.

This was his all or nothing moment.

He sat up, and as quietly as possible swung his legs off the table and shakily stood up. Shockwave had actually repaired several of his systems, since Megatron had been watching over them. He wasn't at his full strength, but if he could knock Shockwave unconscious he'd have a chance to set his own plan in motion and escape.

A metal rod on the table looked like a viable weapon. He silently picked it up, and moved up behind Shockwave.

The purple mech began to turn around. "I suppose the virus has started to take effect—"

Soundwave swung with all his strength. The metal rod made direct impact with Shockwave's helm, knocking him sideways. At first he stumbled, then he regained his balance and ran at Soundwave, grabbing the metal rod's end and trying to pry it away.

"Your attempts to stop me are futile!" Shockwave ripped the rod away and swung it at Soundwave.

Ducking, Soundwave avoided being hit. He then charged at Shockwave and they both landed on the floor in a clatter. Soundwave was never great at hand to hand combat, but pulled from his memory files all the little brawls he'd witnessed Rumble and Frenzy get into. He wrestled with Shockwave on the floor, rolling around until he'd managed to pin him face down.

Shockwave struggled, but Soundwave had found he was stronger. Fighting for his life, for his cassettes' safety and to return to Blaster's embrace fueled him in a way no battle against Autobots ever had. "Let me go! You are jeopardizing my plans to destroy the Earth and all those useless troops Megatron relies on!"

"Resistance is useless. Your plan is thwarted," Soundwave replied. He kicked at the nearby table, spilling its contents all over the floor beside them. The odd-looking device that had the virus coding landed within his reach. He grabbed the object and shoved into Shockwave's neck port, uploading the virus.

"No!" Shockwave shouted. "Stop!"

Having not been shown mercy, Soundwave saw no reason to return it. He let go of Shockwave, and got to his feet again. Shockwave scrambled to his knees and pulled the device free.

"You slagging idiot!" Shockwave stood, and Soundwave readied himself to fight again, but the purple mech instead fled towards the door. "I have to get to the anti-virus." The door slid open and Shockwave disappeared out the entrance.

Soundwave stood beside the computer terminal, debating whether he should give chase, or simply engage his destruction sequence. Megatron was in the control room for the moment. His opportunity was now if he wanted to destroy the base, laser cannon, _and _Megatron. If he chased Shockwave for the anti-virus he might not get another chance.

Resigning himself to his limited options, he chose to protect those he cared about before dealing with his own issue. Blaster and his cassettes were in danger so long as the cannon remained online and functioning. It needed to be destroyed. More errors registered as one of his internal firewalls was disabled. He turned to the computer and quickly accessed the hidden menus in the moonbase's mainframe. He initiated the self-destruct sequence, which had a silent countdown of one breem.

Maybe his other firewalls would hold out long enough for his escape. The spacebridge was just outside the base. He just needed to get to it and set coordinates to transport him close to the Autobot base. Hopefully, their medic would know how to disable the virus before it took over.

With limited time, Soundwave quickly exited the room and followed the twisting hallways towards the main entrance. He turned a corner and found he was at a hallway with a dead end. Confused, he turned back. Why was he having such a hard time navigating a base he helped design and build?

An internal system warning pinged, telling him that his processor was no longer receiving proper signals from the rest of his body. The insidious virus must have corrupted his diagnostics. It had breeched all his firewalls, but a warning never registered.

He needed to get off the base before he was unable to control his body's movements. At the end of a corridor he saw the side exit, which was on the opposite side of the base from the spacebridge. It would have to do, though.

Soundwave headed toward the doorway when he stumbled over nothing, falling to his knees. He was frozen only a few meters away from freedom suddenly unable to control his legs. Heleanedforward in an attempt to use his arms to pull him to the exit. But it was useless. The virus had taken control. He lost the ability to move at all and slid forward, lying front-first on the metallic corridor floor. He stared at the doorway, trying to will himself to move, but his arms and legs didn't respond.

The silent countdown ended. A loud, audio-deafening explosion rocked the base. The shockwave of the explosion rippled over Soundwave's frame, battering him and sending his limp frame sliding down the hallway. He winced behind his mask, knowing that he wasn't going to make it off the base now.

Strangely, a calm feeling overtook him. While he was sad that he wouldn't get to see his cassettes or Blaster again, he was relieved that they would now be safe. Blaster would take good care of them, he was sure of it. In addition to the calmness he felt in the face of his imminent death, he also felt _happy_. He had finally got to feel truly accepted and loved. The void in his spark had been filled with that amazing love Blaster had evoked in him. For a brief time he no longer felt lost in a blanket of numbness. He'd found strength to act in ways he'd never imagined he was even capable of. All because of one mech that touched that dark hole in his spark and lit it up.

_Dying while feeling happy, how ironic_, he thought. _I'm sorry I broke my promise, Blaster…_

The heat from the blast seared his frame, and his vision cut out. The world around him disappeared and his consciousness slipped away as everything went black.

_A/N: Don't freak out! I don't write tragedies. The next chapter is the last one for this story. Thanks for sticking with me and reading!_

_p.s. Ffnet screwed up my document. If you see words running together, please PM me. D:  
_


	10. Stability Factors

Title: Everything Will Change: Stability Factors

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

A BIG Thank You to both my betas: Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201.

"What I used to be will pass away  
And then you'll see  
That all I want now is happiness  
For you and me…" 'Happiness' by Elliot Smith

* * *

Jazz and Mirage silently approached the Decepticon moon base location. They drove the mile or so in from where Omega had stationed himself to wait for their return. Once they were close enough to the coordinates Rumble and Frenzy provided, they transformed and moved in closer on foot.

A chill ran down Jazz's spinal unit. Everything was going perfectly according to plan, but at the same time an uneasy feeling kept rolling through him.

Mirage was just ahead of Jazz in his invisibility cloak. "I see the base," Mirage stated in a low voice.

"Let's hide behind that boulder to the left," Jazz directed.

They moved into position and Mirage turned off his cloak. Jazz peered around the boulder. In the near distance sat the moonbase. It was oddly quiet. No one was flying in or out. There weren't even guards on the front doorway which was visible from their location.

"This ain't right, 'Raj." Jazz's unease intensified, sending a shiver up his spinal unit. "No guards, no nothin' 'round."

"Abandoned, maybe?" Mirage suggested.

Jazz stared at the strangely still base. He noticed a rather large cannon-shaped object jutting up from the center of the building. "I wonder what that big ol' thing in the middle is for?"

"Should we move in and investigate?" Mirage asked.

"Not yet." Jazz wanted to help Blaster, but he also wasn't willing to risk his and Mirage's life, especially when he was getting such bad vibes from the situation.

A klik passed, then another. He could sense Mirage growing restless beside him, as the slender spy started to fidget. Nothing on the base indicated it even had occupants. Despite the nagging feeling that something was amiss, Jazz decided that moving in very cautiously would _probably _be all right.

He turned to Mirage to issue his order to move in just as a large, audio-deafening boom exploded from the moonbase's location.

The huge explosion rocked the ground under them, causing them to both stumble and lose their footing. The explosion was quickly followed by a wave of debris raining down over them. Jazz grabbed hold of Mirage, pushing him against the boulder and instinctually shielding his subordinate as pieces of metal and rock pelted their frames.

"What the frag!" Mirage shouted.

Once the debris stopped falling, Jazz leaned back, staring into Mirage's startled optics. "I think the base just went 'boom'."

Mirage frowned as he plucked a piece of rock off Jazz's shoulder. "Not funny."

Jazz shrugged, then stepped back and moved to peer around the boulder again. In the distance, the moonbase was nothing more than a twisted pile of junk and metal. "That ain't good."

"That is one fragged up mess," Mirage commented as he stepped out to view the area, too.

Jazz glanced at his subordinate with a small, amused smile. Mirage so very rarely swore, so when he did let a word slip out coupled with his Elite accent, it sounded pretty out of character.

"Well, now what?" Mirage asked as he gestured at the flattened base.

Refocusing, Jazz realized that despite the abandoned appearance they needed to confirm whether Soundwave had been inside or not. "We look for Soundwave."

"Even if he'd been in there, he's _dead _now, Jazz." Mirage sounded annoyed.

"Dead or not, that's the mission: Retrieve Soundwave. So let's git a move on." Jazz stepped forward then glanced over his shoulder at Mirage. "Comin'?"

Mirage deeply frowned. "All this for Blaster's sake? Is this really wise, Jazz?"

Turning halfway toward Mirage, Jazz canted his head. "Wise? Prolly not. The right thing to do? Yah, it is."

Heaving a long draught of air through his intakes, Mirage nodded vaguely. "Let's get this over with and check the debris."

They stayed within visual range of each other, picking their way through the destroyed base. The unease from earlier was now replaced with worry. What if Soundwave _had_ been inside? Would he bring back a dead body for Blaster to mourn? Primus, he hoped not. Blaster had lost enough in his life. In fact, they all had. Even the mere thought of losing Prowl each time they went into battle was always deeply upsetting for Jazz. He had a hard imagining how his best friend would cope if the worst-case scenario played out.

_Primus, __please__ let __Soundwave __be __alive_…Jazz thought to himself.

…

The silence in the room was all-consuming. Blaster sat on his berth with Ravage sprawled across his lap and Laserbeak hunkered down right beside him. Neither cassette showed any interest in recharging. Blaster sensed they were waiting. He glanced at the other end of the berth where Rumble and Frenzy sat side-by-side. Rumble was staring at the various posters Blaster had plastered across his quarter's walls. Frenzy had his gaze pinned on Ravage.

"You go to all these concerts?" Rumble asked, shattering the quiet.

Blaster nodded. "Yep. Most of 'em anyway."

"They're not freaking out now," Frenzy said in a softened voice.

"My guess is Soundwave's offline," Blaster replied as he lightly petted Ravage's back. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Blaster took their calmness to mean that Soundwave was still alive, just not online to transmit his emotions to them.

"Maybe," Frenzy said in a flat tone.

This waiting was awful. Blaster found himself holding onto the last desperate shred of hope that Jazz would save Soundwave in time. Blaster dimmed his optics. The 'what if's' surrounding Soundwave felt so immense and overwhelming. Had he been alone, Blaster would have broken down into tears by now. But he was _not_ alone. He needed to be strong for the cassettes now in his care.

He shifted his gaze to Frenzy and Rumble. No matter what happened, Blaster would look after Soundwave's cassettes as long he needed to. Even if that might mean the rest of his life… Blaster vaguely shuddered at that thought.

"This sucks slag. I don't wanna sit here waitin' like this!" Rumble said in a frustrated voice as he punched the berth.

"Don't dent his berth!" Frenzy snapped.

Rumble's posture deflated as he glanced at Blaster. "Sorry."

"Don't you worry 'bout it," Blaster replied. "This waitin' _is_ pretty slaggin' awful."

"Yeah," they both replied at once.

The twins grew quiet and a thick silence once again enveloped the room. The lack of a full night's recharge coupled with the situation was starting to really wear on Blaster. All he truly wanted was to hear whether they found Soundwave yet or not.

"You look tired," Frenzy said.

Blaster glanced at him. "I am."

"Well, there isn't anything else to do, maybe we can recharge a little," Frenzy suggested.

"That sounds like a good idea, actually," Blaster replied with a weary smile.

After some shifting around on the berth, the cassettes each took up different spots beside Blaster. Ravage lay down, pressing up against him on one side. Laserbeak settled himself just next to his shoulder, and Frenzy curled up against Blaster's other side. Rumble stood beside them, frowning.

"Stop being a brat and lay down," Frenzy said.

"Frag you, Frenzy." Rumble's angry response sounded flat, though. "I don't want this. I want the Big Guy. I want _Soundwave_." Rumble looked almost distraught as he balled his hands into fists and his visor flickered. These mini-mechs had such large, complex emotions bottled up in their tiny frames.

"Look, I know I'm not him, but I do wanna care for you guys. If you'll lemmie," Blaster replied.

Rumble's frown deepened. "Stop being nice to us! I don't wanna like you!"

"Rumble…" Frenzy sat up, shaking his head at his brother.

"What's the point, anyway?" Rumble's small frame was shaking as he spoke. "We like him and stay with him, and then one day he'll die, too! We're bad luck, Frenzy!"

Ravage perked his head up to look over at Rumble, and Laserbeak also glanced in the mini mech's direction.

Blaster carefully sat up and reached out, lightly touching Rumble's arm. "Yer not bad luck."

Rumble jerked away from Blaster's hand. "Shut the frag up. You don't know nothin'! We not only lost our creator but all our siblings! Now the Big Guy might be next! It's not fraggin' fair!"

Fear and pain permeated the small cassette's words. Blaster understood what Rumble was feeling, though, having experienced a similar loss. For the longest time after Tracker's death, Blaster felt it had been unfair to lose him the way he had and he grew to distrust others when it came to his creations. "My very first creation died from laser fire in the field. I _do_ know how you feel, Rumble. It's the kinda hurt that dulls, but never really ever goes away. And when stuff like this happens it gets all stirred up again and hurts just as badly as it did when it first happened."

Rumble's visor brightened and his mouth hung open as he stared at Blaster. "One of yer creations died?"

"Yeah." Blaster canted his head. "I'd already lost my entire family, so losin' him nearly broke my spark."

A sympathetic look crossed Rumble's face. "That must have really sucked slag."

"It did." Once again, Blaster reached out and lightly touched Rumble, this time placing his hand on his helm. "We don't know anythin' one way or the other 'bout Soundwave, though. So we just need to wait it out _together_. Okay?"

Rumble slowly nodded.

"So stop being such a fraggin' pain, and get some rest," Frenzy said with a small frown.

"Hmph. Okay," Rumble replied. He then focused on Blaster. "I don't mean to be trouble. I'm just really worried. The Bug Guy means everything to us..."

It was an admission of feelings Blaster knew they were all having simultaneously. "I know how ya feel."

Without another word, Rumble moved to where his brother sat and plopped down beside him. Blaster lay back once again, and the brothers carefully situated themselves beside him. Rumble ended up sandwiched between Frenzy and Blaster's side. In no time, both their visors went dark.

Blaster watched them, unable to as easily slip into a recharge state himself. His worry for their collective future loomed heavily in his mind. A life without Soundwave in it would deepen all their emotional scars. He prayed to Primus that his worst fears wouldn't be realized. That Soundwave would return to them... After all, Soundwave had _promised_ he'd come back.

…

"Anythin' yet, 'Raj?" Jazz shouted from a few meters away as he scanned the debris under foot for signs of Soundwave.

"Not yet," Mirage replied. "Wait…Is that-?"

Had Mirage found Soundwave? Jazz quickly hopped over pieces of metal sheeting that lay between his and Mirage's position. He expected to see the telltale blue coloring of Soundwave's paneling, but instead his optics focused on a silvery-grey piece of paneling. It took a moment to register what he was looking at, but he finally recognized the twisted shape as what had once been an arm. Widening his view, he saw Megatron's arm cannon half crushed under a metal beam a meter or so away from the arm.

"Is that what I think it is?" Mirage asked, trepidation lacing his voice.

"Ol' Megs' arm? I'd say so. I wonder where the rest of him is at?" Jazz replied.

"I think that might be his torso." Mirage pointed to an area a few meters to their left.

Jazz carefully moved closer, stepping over the severed arm. Sure enough, what was left of Megatron's torso, minus the head, lay destroyed on the ground. Internal systems were exposed and burnt beyond recognition where the paneling had been blown off. It was one of the more gruesome sights Jazz had witnessed over the stellar cycles.

"That would be one very dead Megatron," Jazz said as he glanced back at Mirage.

Mirage frowned at Jazz. "That's good and bad news, isn't it?"

"Let's just keep lookin'," Jazz replied. He didn't want to face the facts that were quickly overwhelming his optimistic hopes for finding Soundwave alive. He needed to just keep moving.

Almost a breem passed, and they had combed almost the entire site. They were at the far side of where the moon base had once stood when Jazz picked up an active energy signal. He grew still, scanning the debris for Soundwave's dark blue color.

Like a beacon in the sea of light purple, twisted metal, a blue hand jutted upward. Jazz moved swiftly to the spot. "'Raj! Over here!"

The two converged on the exposed piece of Soundwave's body. Jazz desperately dug at the debris, tossing pieces aside to expose the rest of the Decepticon officer.

"I'm pickin' up an energy signal," Jazz said as he lifted a last, large piece of metal paneling away.

Beneath the paneling lay Soundwave's battered frame. His helm was dented in on one side, and his facemask appeared to barely be attached. Scratches and deep dents marred his entire frame. Several of his left leg's connecting cables were snapped, and energon stained the white paneling of his thigh. Along the one side of his torso, the paneling had split open. Energon and mech fluid mixed, slowly seeping from the gaping wound. The injuries would have been fatal to any normal mech.

Mirage lightly touched Soundwave's hand. "He's warm, Jazz. How's that even possible?"

"I dunno. But let's hurry and get 'im outta here." Jazz opened his comm. line to Omega Supreme. :: Jazz to Omega, we got a critical condition mech here, request immediate pick up and transport. ::

:: Omega will comply with your request. :: the Guardian replied.

Reaching out, Jazz lightly placed his hand on Soundwave's chest. "Don't you fraggin' die, got it? Hang on just a lil' longer."

...

After a little time recharging, all of Soundwave's cassettes were once again awake. Ravage sat beside Blaster, while Laserbeak tried out various locations in the room to perch on. Soundwave's creations no longer seemed agitated or lethargic. Blaster read their shift in behavior as a good sign. Perhaps they had felt Soundwave's spark connection to them. Blaster knew if he were parted from his creations, he'd be in as much spark contact as possible with them. He just wished someone would officially relay news about Soundwave and the situation.

Frenzy sat near Blaster on the berth, watching Ravage and Laserbeak intently. "They seem to be actin' like themselves again."

"Yeah they do," Rumble replied. He stood beside the small city of parts Eject and Rewind had built in the corner of the room, curiously inspecting it. "I wish they'd fraggin' tell us somethin' already."

"Me, too," Blaster replied.

Vibrations from within told Blaster his creations wanted out. Without thinking, Blaster lightly rubbed his chest in response to their internal shifting. At one point or another, his creations were going to meet Soundwave's cassettes. He had wanted Soundwave present when it happened, though.

"Your cassettes want out?" Frenzy asked.

Blaster glanced at Frenzy. He was certainly observant. "Yeah, they do."

Frenzy's apprehension seemed to lift away for a moment. "How many ya got?"

"I have four," Blaster replied. His cassettes sent another wave of energy to show their impatience. It seemed that waiting for Soundwave wasn't going to be an option.

"Can we meet 'em?" Frenzy asked, sounding eager.

Blaster tried to calm his creations through their bond, but their collective desire to be freed easily overrode his attempt to quiet them. "Um, I guess so."

Rumble walked over and crossed his arms over his chest while frowning at Blaster. "You don't want them to meet us?"

"It's not that." Blaster frowned a little. "I don't let 'em out around anyone, usually. But the thing is, they've never even seen other creations before. They might be a lil' shy."

"We won't get in their faces or anything." Frenzy slid off the berth the floor and motioned to Ravage. "Come down here, Ravage."

Ravage canted his head at Frenzy, then looked at Blaster. He stared at Blaster intensely for a moment, then jumped down to join Frenzy and Rumble.

"Get over here, 'Beak." Rumble waved at Laserbeak, who left his spot atop Blaster's shelves to land next to his siblings.

Blaster gazed at them, remembering a time when he used to fight these four. He still clearly remembered the conflict he used to feel shooting at another mech's creations. Now he was going share with them his own precious creations. It struck him then how much had changed in so little time. As he got to his feet, his spark fluttered nervously. He offered the four a small smile before ejecting his creations.

The moment Rewind landed and saw Soundwave's cassettes, he ran behind Blaster's leg, clinging tightly to him. Steeljaw sat down beside Rewind, offering his sibling some measure of comfort. Eject, on the other hand, wandered right up to the four. He was fearless in the face of the new visitors. "Hello! I'm Eject!"

The two brothers looked shocked to see Eject and Rewind.

"Hi," Rumble replied, his visor burning brightly.

"You have mini-mechs," Frenzy said, clearly in awe. "You didn't say you had mini-mechs like us."

"Well, they aren't matured like you two. They can talk more now, though," Blaster said as he shifted his gaze to Ramhorn.

Ramhorn didn't usually show much of a reaction when meeting anyone new, which made his currently unwavering gaze on Ravage stand out to Blaster. Ravage did look very similar to Tracker, and Ramhorn was the only creation that had known Blaster's first creation. Scooping Rewind up in one arm, Blaster crouched down beside Ramhorn. "That's Ravage. He's Soundwave's first creation," he said as he lightly patted Ramhorn's back.

"Does Ravage look like the one you had that died?" Frenzy asked.

"He does," Blaster replied.

Ramhorn took a tentative step closer. Ravage stood and closed the gap. They tapped noses in a friendly gesture, then Ramhorn gently bumped Ravage's side with his head. Blaster tensed, unsure how Ravage would react to Ramhorn's request to play. After all, he was trained to fight mechs much larger than himself. He could hurt Ramhorn if he chose to. Ravage canted his head, then jumped back in an equally playful gesture. The two then hopped around, half chasing half-taunting one another. Blaster relaxed as he watched. The fun proved too much to resist, and Steeljaw quickly joined in chasing the other two around the small room. Laserbeak took off and landed on the berth to watch the melee from a safe distance and add his squawks every once in a while.

"Heh! I've never seen Ravage play like that," Frenzy said with a huge grin.

"Me neither," Rumble said, looking surprised.

"Play?" Rewind asked, looking up at Blaster with bright optics.

"Of course ya can." Blaster set Rewind down beside his brother.

Eject grabbed Frenzy's hand, and tugged. "Come on."

"Huh?" Frenzy stared Eject with a puzzled look.

"That city of parts over there is theirs. Eject wants to show you," Blaster explained.

"Ohhh, okay." Frenzy smiled. "Hey, can Rumble come, too?" he asked Eject.

Eject glanced at Rumble, then nodded fervently.

In a matter of moments, their collective creations had made friends with one another. Blaster settled on the floor, content for the moment to watch them. It didn't quell his worry about Soundwave's safety, but it eased the overall tension in the room considerably. For a few blissful moments, everyone relaxed a little and seemed to enjoy themselves.

Then, without warning, the door to Blaster's room opened.

Panic struck Blaster hard, and he jumped to his feet, putting himself between the doorway and all the cassettes.

Prowl stepped into the room, and the door hissed shut behind him.

"What the frag, Prowl?" Blaster yelled, exposing his anger at the lack of courtesy. "Ever heard of a buzzer?"

"Hi!" Eject said, loudly.

Prowl's doorwings perked up in response to the contrast in greetings as he focused on Blaster's mini-mechs sitting with Frenzy and Rumble on the far side of the room.

Blaster clenched his hands into fists. "What do you want, Prowl?"

Prowl's gaze immediately snapped back to Blaster. "I've come to relay news regarding Soundwave. I do apologize for upsetting you by not announcing my entrance. I didn't think you'd have your own cassettes out."

As much as Blaster wanted to pummel Prowl for his lack of 'thinking', he wanted to hear the news about Soundwave more. "What about him? Did Jazz find him?"

Rumble and Frenzy joined Blaster at his side.

"What happened? Where is he?" Rumble asked.

"Is he hurt?" Frenzy also asked.

"Jazz located him at the moonbase site shortly after it exploded." Prowl's voice took on a dry, detached tone. "He was in dire condition and transported as quickly as possible to medbay. Ratchet was able to stabilize his condition, but due to his extensive injuries, he will be staying in medbay for the time being."

Extensive injuries? Stabilized? Explosion? What the frag had Soundwave done? Blaster felt like his processor was spinning. His fuel tank lurched at the idea that Soundwave had been badly hurt. Then he suddenly remembered Soundwave had a sparklet attached to his spark. "What about his sparklet? Did Ratchet—"

"Ratchet also reported he extracted a sparklet as soon as he found it. It's in a stasis chamber until Wheeljack finishes creating a body for it." Prowl's cold expression softened. "Again, Blaster, I do apologize for not announcing my arrival. I wanted to give you the news as soon as I was able to."

Blaster canted his head at Prowl. "I'm surprised Jazz didn't come tell me."

"Jazz and Mirage are undergoing minor repairs," Prowl said with a small frown.

"Repairs? For what?" Blaster asked.

"They were in close proximity to the explosion and received surface damage. Due to Soundwave's grim condition, they had to wait for treatment." Prowl's doorwings drooped slightly as he spoke.

"So, the Big Guy's gonna be okay, though? And the sparklet, too?" Frenzy asked, refocusing the conversation on what was far more important to him.

Prowl nodded. "I believe so. And Prime will allow you to visit with him when Ratchet deems it appropriate."

Rumble crossed his arms over his small chest. "When will that be?"

"I do not know at this time," Prowl replied.

Both Frenzy and Rumble looked unhappy with the open-ended reply. "So fraggin' annoyin'," Rumble grumbled.

"I wish I had a clearer time frame to offer, but it's all up to Ratchet and what he feels is best for Soundwave," Prowl replied.

"But you said he's stable?" Blaster asked.

Prowl's gaze locked with Blaster's. "At this time, yes."

Blaster felt relieved and upset at the same time. If he'd known that Soundwave was going to risk his very life, he would have tried to stop him… Frowning, Blaster felt like a failure for not better protecting Soundwave like he had wanted to, and placing his trust in Soundwave's assurances, instead. Part of him was angry with Soundwave for taking such a huge risk without really telling Blaster how much danger he was really placing himself in, but a bigger part of him was relieved that at least he was still alive.

"I will be sure to update you when I know more, as well as ring the buzzer before entering next time," Prowl said, interrupting Blaster's thoughts.

"Sure," Blaster replied flatly. Prowl's rudeness was now the least of Blaster's concerns.

Prowl turned and the door opened. "Hopefully everything will be resolved sooner rather than later," he said as he glanced over his shoulder at Blaster, offering a sympathetic look before he exited the small room.

Blaster glanced down at Rumble and Frenzy who were exchanging worried looks at one another.

What a mess this had all become. All the energy he'd devoted to remaining emotionally stable for the sake of Soundwave's cassettes had left him totally exhausted. He could feel his emotional fortitude crumbling at the edges.

In a daze, Blaster sat down on the berth. His processor still locked in conflicting reactions to the news. Anger at his own lack of diligence, hurt that Soundwave hadn't been totally up-front about his plans, and yet he was also relived to know that his love wasn't dead. All these thoughts and reactions crammed his processor at once, causing it to ache dully.

He felt small hands on his legs and looked down to see Eject and Rewind both peering up at him along with all the rest of the cassettes, his and Soundwave's alike.

"You okay?" Frenzy asked.

Tears pooled on Blaster's optics. He wasn't okay. He shook his head, and forced a smile at the same time.

"You don't gotta pretend to be okay for us, ya know," Rumble said with a small frown.

Blaster couldn't find his voice to reply and half smiled at Rumble. He then slid off the berth to the floor, and his mini-mechs crawled into his lap. Blaster hugged them to his chest, while the rest of the cassettes all moved in close, sitting around him. _At __least __I__'__m__ not __all __alone_, he thought as he gazed at them and finally allowed himself to let go, sobbing out of both frustration and relief. He just needed to remind himself that at least he now knew Soundwave was alive.

…

Heavy darkness felt like it was growing lighter. Soundwave very slowly felt himself moving toward that light feeling. His worries and concerns were long forgotten as the lightness filled him. It felt warm and comforting in a way he'd not known since his parents had been alive- No wait. He'd felt it more recently around Blaster. When he'd hug him close, gaze into his optics, kiss him...

"_Promise me that no matter what happens, you'll come back to me."_

_Blaster_... Blaster had asked him to come back. But Soundwave didn't know where he was, so how could he get back to him? He focused on his memories of Blaster and how it had felt to be around him, desperate to keep his promise.

Suddenly, Soundwave's optics lit. He grunted at the pain signals registering across his sensory net. The ceiling overhead slowly came into focus. He stared at the distinct patterns that ran across it and noticed that it was orange in color. Turning his head to the side, he saw a life support system lit up and apparently working hard just beside where he lay. His gaze traced the path of the set of thick cords that led from the machine to his own frame.

Staring down across his own body, he was shocked at the sight. Seams from repairs criss-crossed in messy lines over just about every panel of his frame. His chest plate had been removed entirely, and the path of cords from the life support machine ended inside his exposed chest.

He wasn't dead. But from the looks of it, he'd barely survived.

With concentrated effort, Soundwave lifted one hand up to touch his face. As he suspected, his mask had been removed along with his visor.

The door to the room slid open and the Autobot medic, Ratchet, walked in.

"Welcome back to the land of the conscious," the medic said as he moved to the life support system and accessed the computer terminal beside it, checking readings. "Your systems are stabilizing finally. That was one nasty virus I had to purge from your systems. I wasn't sure you'd make it to be honest."

'_Make __it.__'_ Soundwave glanced down at his open chest feeling within his spark for the sparklet he'd hoped had also made it. He still vaguely felt it, but there was no pain in his spark associated with it. Was it no longer attached to his spark? If so, where was it? Had it survived?

"The sparklet," Soundwave managed to croak out.

"I saved it. In the nick of time, I might add." Ratchet walked around the berth and pulled a rolling table in the room closer to where Soundwave lay. On top of the table sat a globe-shaped glassy container set on a base. In the center beat a tiny sparklet. _His_ sparklet.

"How?" Soundwave asked, in awe of the sight of his own sparklet, naked and glowing inside the container.

"This is a stasis incubator. Usually use it for sparklings, but works for your little guy here, too. It'll be safe in here until Wheeljack finishes making a body for it." Ratchet heaved a thick sigh of air from his intakes as he looked down at Soundwave. "You're gonna be here for a while. Despite the fact you've survived, there are a lot of repairs left to be made and I need to keep checking to be sure that virus was totally removed."

Soundwave dimmed his optics. A while? Did that mean he wouldn't get to see his cassettes and Blaster anytime soon? "My cassettes?" he asked, straining to speak.

Ratchet canted his head. "They're doing well. Prime is going to let them visit you for short periods of time, but you won't be able to carry them in your sub-space pocket until you're doing much better. Until then, they're staying with Blaster."

Blaster… He wanted to see the mech that changed everything. The one he'd turned his entire world upside down for. "And Blaster?" Soundwave asked, hoping his two-word question was enough to convey his desire to see him, too.

Ratchet frowned deeply. "Until further notice, you two are not allowed to interact directly."

The pain that permeated Soundwave's frame from his injuries paled in comparison to the sharp pain Ratchet's words unleashed within Soundwave's spark. He wouldn't be allowed to see Blaster? After all he'd done to secure the safety of those he loved, he would be barred from seeing the mech that meant everything to him? Soundwave shifted his gaze back to the ceiling, fighting the overwhelming desire to break down in tears. Repressing emotions was much easier with a mask and visor to hide behind, though. He knew he was wincing, and hoped the medic would think it was from his injuries.

Ratchet placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I'm not gonna pretend to know what happened between you two, but I do know that being a dual-pulse sparked mech isn't easy. I've cared for several over the eons, and I know that it's a painfully lonely existence. That includes Blaster. So I get why you two connected in the first place." Reluctantly, Soundwave shifted his gaze to the medic. He seemed so different than past medics that Soundwave had dealt with. "But this isn't the Golden Age. We are in the middle of a war, and Blaster broke all sorts of regulations. He's gotta face the consequences."

Anger mixed with his frustration. Once again, those around Soundwave trampled his desires. He couldn't have what _he _wanted. He'd killed Megatron for these ungrateful Autobots, nearly losing his life in the process. All he wanted in return was to be with those he loved: his cassettes and Blaster. "Frag this war," Soundwave replied.

Ratchet sadly frowned. "I tend to agree. But the most important thing right now is to get better, and that means you need more rest." The medic pressed a command into the panel beside Soundwave's berth and almost instantly he was forced back into a recharge state.

His last flickering thoughts were of Blaster. But they only offered a little bit of comfort against the tidal wave of pain he now found himself floating in. It was all so unfair.

…

Time blurred together in an agonizing series of waking moments where pain permeated both Soundwave's spark as well as his body. It was easier to remain offline, which he forced himself to do as much as possible.

A hand on his arm woke him from his current recharge, causing an all too familiar burning feeling across his plating. He moved his arm away from the touch as he dimly lit his optics. Ratchet stood beside him, offering a sad-looking smile.

"I have two surprises for you," Ratchet said.

Soundwave frowned, since he knew neither surprise would involve Blaster.

"Wheeljack finished the frame for your sparklet," Ratchet said. "Plus your cassettes are here for their first visit."

"The sparklet?" Soundwave asked.

"Yep, he's happy and healthy. Him and all your cassettes are just outside." Ratchet canted his head. "You ready to see them?"

Soundwave glanced at the doorway, and a nervous fluttered feeling rippled through his fuel tank. He then glanced down at his chest. A temporary piece of plating now covered where his glassy chest piece had been. There were a series of openings along one side to allow the ugly life support wiring to connect to his internals. He shook his head as he locked gazes with Ratchet. "Do not want them to worry."

"They are worried regardless," Ratchet replied.

Frowning deeply, Soundwave let out a sigh of air from his intakes in resignation and then he finally nodded in agreement.

Ratchet exited then came back in, leading in Soundwave's small troop of cassettes.

"Big Guy!" Frenzy said excitedly.

Rumble and Frenzy both hopped up onto the chair beside the berth, while his newest creation and Laserbeak flew over and landed next to Soundwave each offering squawks. In awe of his newest creation, Soundwave reached out to touch him, lightly patting his back as their gazes met for the first time. Happiness permeated their thin bond, which instantly brought a smile to Soundwave's face. His first smile in what felt like forever.

Ravage then jumped up onto the berth, to Ratchet's chagrin.

"Whoa there, you need to be careful. He's still very fragile and healing," Ratchet said directly to Ravage. Other than Megatron, no other mechs ever addressed Soundwave's cassettes directly. Soundwave found it interesting that this medic wasn't like any other medic that had cared for him before. Ravage gingerly stepped forward, taking a seat on the side opposite Laserbeak and his new creation.

"You don't have your mask," Frenzy said, looking a little surprised.

They had seen his face before, but it had been a very, very long time ago. "It is broken," Soundwave simply replied. In truth, he didn't want his visor and mask back. Blaster said he was handsome without them, and when he did eventually get to see him again, he wanted it to be as he truly was. Scars and all.

Frenzy then sheepishly smiled. "You look nice without it."

"The rest of you looks like slag," Rumble said with a frown.

"I know," Soundwave replied.

"Rumble…" Frenzy jabbed his brother in the side.

Rumble frowned at Frenzy. "But, ah, anyway, the new guy and Laserbeak seem to like each other a lot." Rumble canted head, glancing at the new addition. "What's his name gonna be?"

Soundwave hadn't considered what he might call his new creation. The future of this creation had been so clouded; he'd never imagined it would have survived. It had been quite tenacious sparklet to endure everything it had been through. He gazed at his new creation for a long moment, unsure what name would be fitting.

"'Falconfire'?" Rumble offered.

"That sounds like an Autobot," Frenzy replied with a frown.

"What about 'Predator'? Like that human movie we watched," Rumble suggested with a grin.

Frenzy gave his brother a 'you are insane' look as he shook his head. "Actually, I've been thinking about it a lot." Frenzy looked back over at Soundwave. "What about 'Buzzsaw'?" Frenzy said, with a hopeful look.

"That's a cool name," Rumble replied.

It was a 'cool' name. It sounded tough and seemed to fit him. Smiling, Soundwave nodded. "That is an appropriate name."

Ravage whined and pressed his face into Soundwave's hand. Shifting his attention, he lightly patted Ravage's head, sending his reassurances through their bond. Both birds happily hunkered down together on his other side, seemingly content to be close to him. Sadness suddenly hit Soundwave hard, making his gut feel heavy. He missed being around them _so_ _much_. In the face of life's hardships these cassettes had always been his steadfast companions, but now he faced much of his recovery completely alone.

"Blaster's been takin' good care of all us, too," Frenzy said.

Soundwave knew Frenzy mentioned Blaster to cheer him up, but his spark immediately spiked with pain in response. Wincing slightly, he nodded to Frenzy. "That is good."

"Hey you," Rumble said to Ratchet.

Ratchet canted his head. "Yes?"

"How much longer 'til the Big Guy is outta here?"

"It's going be a while, yet. He's still on the life support machine right now," Ratchet replied.

"Then why the frag can't Blaster come see him, too? This is a load of slag only lettin' us in here. After everythin' the Big Guy did to save your sorry afts you fraggin' Autobrats won't let him see the mech you trust to look after _us_? It makes no sense!" Rumble's voice was sharp with his conviction.

"I don't have control over that decision," Ratchet replied.

Ravage whined, looking at the medic.

"It's total slag and you know it," Rumble said.

Soundwave glanced at Ratchet, seeing the medic's own frustration written across his face. Soundwave agreed with his cassettes, but he also knew he was in no condition to fight against his current captors. No matter how much he wished he could break out of medbay and steal Blaster away, he had no choice but to resign himself to his current fate. Primus, he loathed feeling so incredibly helpless and alone.

"Trust me. If I had control over things, they'd be much different," Ratchet replied.

"Hmph, you Autobrats are so useless," Rumble replied as he crossed his arms across his small chest.

Frenzy frowned, then lightly fingered Soundwave's arm. "You want us to tell 'im anything for ya?"

Both mini-mechs stared intently at Soundwave, clearly wanting to help if they could.

"Or maybe I just need to knock out the walls between here and his room?" Rumble said, with a maniacal-looking grin.

A small, sad-looking smile pulled at Soundwave's lips. "Tell him I miss him."

"We will." Frenzy squeezed Soundwave's arm.

_When__ will __this__ all __finally __be__ over?_ Soundwave wondered. Pushing on in the face of such isolation was much harder than he'd imagined. He just wanted his life to be his again. Was that so much to ask for? To not be left all alone with nothing more than his pain? His body was sore, his spark deeply ached, and he was no longer in control over what happened to him. He didn't even have his cassettes as constant companions to help take the edge off this sharp loneliness.

He'd found the mech that filled the void in his spark, only to have that hole feel larger than ever now. Soundwave realized that it wasn't so much a matter of when he'd see the light at the end of this new dark tunnel he was in, but whether he was going to be strong enough to make it there. If he did manage to make it, he promised himself he'd finally say three words he'd never spoken to anyone before.

Next time he saw Blaster he was going to tell him he loved him. He just hoped he would make it 'next time'.

…

Ratchet shifted uneasily in his seat in the conference room. Optimus Prime had called in his high-ranking officers for a status meeting.

Caring for Soundwave over the last orn had been a lot of work. Isolation in medbay only exacerbated his patient's delicate condition. While Ratchet had some reservations at first about caring for a Decepticon, they had all been swept away over the last couple of Earth weeks. The Decepticon communications officer had always appeared to be a cold, uncaring mech from afar, but up close he was very different. Soundwave showered his cassettes with affection when they came to visit, destroying the image of a stoic, unfeeling monster Ratchet had of him.

Ratchet had also been surprised to discover that Soundwave was much younger than he had initially thought. Soundwave's youth not only showed in his face, but in how he behaved with Rumble and Frenzy, too. They always took on a somewhat parental role with him when they visited, advocating for him and comforting him.

This former enemy no longer felt threatening to Ratchet now that he saw in Soundwave what Blaster must have already discovered.

"Starscream has asked for a sit down meeting with myself and Prowl to discuss a possible cease fire," Optimus said, reporting the most recent twist in events.

Ratchet vaguely registered Optimus' words before slipping back into his thoughts.

Despite the time and effort put into Soundwave's repairs, he wasn't recovering as quickly as Ratchet thought he should be. Each visit with Soundwave's cassettes seemed to help his mood, but the moment they were gone, he'd shut down all over again. His periods of recharging far exceeded what he needed now that he was off the life support system. Ratchet recognized the behavior as depression. It was settling over Soundwave and hindering his healing progress. Autorepair systems that should have been busily working away were sluggish and only performing the bare minimum in repairs, leaving Ratchet to continually make repairs himself. No amount of his intervention would be enough, though. Soundwave needed to heal himself for most benefit.

"Ratchet?" Optimus asked, apparently repeating himself.

"Sorry, sir. What was the question?" Ratchet asked.

"Just inquiring about Soundwave's progress," Optimus replied.

"Same. Not much better than two Earth days ago, or even an Earth week ago." Ratchet didn't bothering hiding his irritation.

"I see. Is there no hope of his recovering fully?" Optimus asked.

Deeply frowning, Ratchet steeled himself as he replied. "So long as Soundwave is kept apart from Blaster and his cassettes, he won't get better." His gaze flitted across the faces of his fellow officers. Ironhide looked annoyed, Jazz looked disappointed, and Prowl looked indifferent.

Optimus looked concerned. "It's a complicated situation, Ratchet. While I do believe in my spark no ill harm was intended by Blaster's actions, I can't reward his behavior, either."

"So you let Soundwave suffer as a result?" Ratchet shook his head. "I get it. Rules and whatnot, but in this case, I don't agree."

"Yeah, I'm with Ratch. They've been through Pit already. Let's just let 'em bunk in the same room and keep guards on 'em or something," Jazz said.

"We still don't know if Soundwave was tryin' to manipulate Blaster into doin' somethin' he shouldn't," Ironhide replied.

"Soundwave's the one that blew Ol' Megs to bits," Jazz responded.

"That don't mean nothin' and you know it, Jazz. Yer just feelin' guilty over whatever happened 'tween you and Blaster," Ironhide replied with a frown.

"That has nothing to do with anythin' 'Hide—" Jazz's reply was cut short as Optimus lifted his hand up, motioning for them to quiet down.

"May I add my input?" Prowl asked.

Optimus nodded. "Please, do."

Ratchet internally cringed. Prowl tended to always go with facts and the fact was, Blaster broke protocols, endangering them all.

"I do not condone Blaster's actions. However, taking into consideration the new era of possible peace, I believe treating Soundwave as a prisoner here would only damage what little relations we've established with the Decepticons. By placing him with Blaster, he'd have attentive care as he recovers. I would recommend we allow him to share a space with Blaster and keep them both under guard for the time being for their protection." Prowl's take surprised Ratchet a little, and yet the reasoning was very 'Prowl-like'.

Looking to Optimus, Ratchet wondered how their leader would take the suggestion.

"You make a good point, Prowl." Optimus glanced at Ratchet. "And you believe his condition might improve if we moved him into a space with his cassettes and Blaster?"

Ratchet nodded. "I do."

"Jazz, you choose a couple of mechs you trust to clear out the storage area at the end of the hallway that runs by medbay. That space should be large enough for all of them, and keep him within distance of medical care, should he need it," Optimus ordered.

Ironhide crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head, but made no verbal protest.

"Great! I'll git right on it!" Jazz replied with a huge grin.

Relief at the news helped ease Ratchet's worries considerably. He hated seeing his patients suffer, even one that was a former enemy.

…

Darkness wrapped around Blaster despite the overhead lights burning brightly in his quarters. He had just put Soundwave's cassettes in the recharge device Wheeljack had made for them. He crouched down to press his hand to the surface of the device. It vibrated at Soundwave's spark pulse rate, causing a light vibration over the surface of the container. The sensation reminded Blaster of touching Soundwave's chest and feeling his spark's unique pulse vibrating beneath. Tears pooled on his optics. Why did this hurt so much? How did he manage to fall so in love with Soundwave so fast?

Every evening, Blaster considered recharging on the floor curled around the recharge unit, but so far he'd not given into his desperation. He finally got to his feet, and wandered to his berth, plopping down to sit. His gaze lingered on the unit as his processor replayed memory files of their handful of encounters. He just wanted to see Soundwave again.

A knock at the door startled Blaster, causing him to jump in his seat. He stared at the door completely confused, since it was late in the evening. Who in the name of Primus would be here now? Were they here to tell him bad news about Soundwave? His spark contracted in its chamber in response to his fearful thoughts. The door cycled open and Blaster was met with the familiar sight of Jazz's grinning visage.

"Hey there! You weren't rechargin' yet, were ya?" Jazz asked, his smile fading as their gazes met.

Blaster had done his best to hold together during these last few Earth weeks, but it was taking a significant toll on him. He no longer had the energy or even the desire to force smiles, or to pretend he was okay when he wasn't. "No."

Jazz suddenly looked worried. "Uh, well, sorry to barge in so late but—"

"Hey Blaster!" Bluestreak entered the room, too, carrying several empty containers. His smile also faltered when his gaze landed on Blaster.

His friends had stopped by on occasion over the last couple Earth weeks, but never for very long and always while all the cassettes were out. Exhausted and emotionally fraying, Blaster softly sighed air from his intakes. _I __must __look __like __slag_, Blaster thought.

"We've got a surprise fer ya." Jazz plucked a container from Bluestreak's grip. "But first we gotta pack up some of yer things."

Blaster frowned. "Pack up my things?"

"You're getting moved to a bigger room," Bluestreak replied with a grin.

Blaster vaguely frowned. "Moved? 'Cause of the cassettes?"

"Yeah, partly. Come'on. Let's git yer stuff packed up," Jazz said as he held out the empty container to Blaster.

Still unsure of what it all meant, Blaster took the container and helped them take down his posters and empty his desk and closet. Jazz's small smile the whole time told him something was going on. A touch of hope that something good might finally happen resonated in Blaster's spark for the first time in several Earth weeks. Maybe he would finally get to see Soundwave. He decided not to ask, though, and just do as he was directed, not wanting to ruin his renewed feeling of hope.

...

"All right, here we go," Ratchet said as he helped Soundwave to his feet.

Soundwave's limbs protested the forced movement as he stood up from the medbay berth he'd been trapped on for weeks now. Ratchet's arm wrapped around Soundwave's waist to help keep him steady, but it was extremely uncomfortable. He stepped forward with concentrated effort, and found he was sore in more places than he even knew he had. He grunted at the pain but pushed forward with another step.

"Good," Ratchet said in an encouraging tone. "How's that pain reducer unit on your chest working? Is it helping at all?"

Glancing at the round object jutting off his freshly repaired chest plate, he ran a sensory test. The pain he felt was being dampened significantly, which was a little worrisome since he still hurt a lot. "It is helping."

"Great. Now let's get you down the hallway, okay?" Ratchet carefully guided Soundwave toward the door of the room. On the other side stood Wheeljack and Optimus Prime. Soundwave's faceplates flashed with heat. How embarrassing to be seen like this by the Autobot leader…

The walk was agonizingly slow as Ratchet led him out of medbay and down the hallway with Wheeljack and Prime following behind them. He fought back the urge to shy away from Ratchet's grip on him, knowing it was the only thing keeping him from toppling over, despite the burning feeling the medic's touches were causing.

Soundwave glanced down the hallway, noticing a door at the end. Was that their destination? He hadn't bothered asking why he was being forced to move, or what the point of all this was. In truth, a thick numbness had enveloped him almost completely. It only peeled away momentarily when he was allowed to see his cassettes. He had fought and risked his very life to be free to love Blaster, and ended up locked away in a medbay room all alone. Succumbing to the numbness had been the only way to survive.

"Considering the extent of damage that virus did, I'm impressed with how well you are walking, Soundwave," Ratchet commented as they drew closer to the door. "It'll take time for your relays to totally recover, but I have confidence they will."

If not for that fragging virus, Soundwave knew he would have recovered much quicker. He frowned as he internally cursed that aft, Shockwave. He wondered if his fellow Meblonian had survived. He hoped not.

"Here we are," Wheeljack said as he waved his hand over the entry pad.

The door opened revealing three mechs inside. One was Blaster.

Soundwave's spark instantly surged at the sight. Blaster was crouched down with his back to the doorway arranging what looked like scrap parts in the corner of the room. Blaster then glanced over his shoulder and their gazes met for the first time is just over an orn. Slowly, Blaster turned and stood up. He looked utterly shocked to see Soundwave.

Ratchet carefully led Soundwave to the berth in the room, helping him to sit down. Soundwave was relieved to have the medic let go of him.

"This right here is a pain-reducer," Ratchet said as he lightly tapped the disk magnetically stuck to Soundwave's chest. "Blaster, you need to help him change it out whenever the light turns yellow. Just switch it for a charged one." Ratchet gestured to Wheeljack. The engineer set down a charger and a few extra units on the table in the corner of the room. "The intercom in here goes directly to medbay," Ratchet said as he glanced at Soundwave. "If you need anything at all, _use__ it_."

Optimus Prime then spoke. "This will be your shared quarters for the time being. For your safety and the safety of the crew, a guard will remain posted on the door. And Blaster, you remain stripped of your position as an active crew member for now."

"I understand, and thank you, for all this, sir," Blaster replied, in a respectful tone.

The black and white Autobot, Jazz, patted Blaster's arm. "Let's all get outta here. I think they more than earned some alone time," Jazz said with a huge grin.

"Of course," Prime replied.

The extra mechs all shuffled out of the room, and the door cycled shut.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Soundwave was alone with Blaster. He looked over at Blaster as a nervous smile curved his lips. "Hello, again."

"Hi," Blaster said. He frowned, then averted his gaze.

Confused by the reaction, Soundwave canted his head. "I have missed you."

Shaking his head, Blaster didn't reply. In fact, he appeared to be crying. Soundwave noticed tears of coolant roll down his sweet face. A moment of silence seemed to stretch on forever before Blaster finally spoke in a small, fragile-sounding voice. "You almost died. You almost left me all alone."

A wave of guilt rolled through Soundwave. "I apologize." He suddenly realized the impact his decisions had made on Blaster. He had been so busy dealing with his own personal pain, it never occurred to him that his risky choices had by proxy hurt the one he was trying to protect.

Focusing, Soundwave forced himself to stand and then took a stiff step forward, but afraid of losing his balance, he stopped. He stared at Blaster, unsure what to say or do to make things right. "But I did not die. I kept my promise to you."

Blaster's gaze lifted upward and he finally looked at Soundwave, again. "Yeah. You did keep your promise."

Soundwave's lips curved into a small, pouted frown. "I have unintentionally harmed you."

A gust of air escaped Blaster's intakes with a soft hiss. "Well, you didn't really tell me your intentions in the first place. I wanted to look after you, but I couldn't _do_ anythin'," More tears pooled on his optics. "As mad I probably should be, I'm actually not. I'm just… _really_ overwhelmed by everythin' that's happened, exhausted from tryin' to keep it together, and even though you're standing right there, it's like this doesn't even feel real." Blaster shook his head as his gaze returned the floor between them.

Without thinking, Soundwave tried to move toward Blaster, wanting to hold him and make a physical connection to offer comfort and cement the reality of their changed world. His step forward should have been a simple task, but the stiffness in his joints caused him to stumble. Blaster reacted quickly, swooping in and grabbing him by the arm to help steady his balance just like the first time they touched at the concert when his sparklet had the painful growth spurt. Warmth from Blaster's touch caused a ripple of pleasure across Soundwave's sensory net as he stood staring into Blaster's brilliant blue optics.

"Primus, yer so fraggin' cute." Blaster laughed a little, despite his teary optics. "Here, sit back down."

They sat side by side on the berth. Soundwave took hold of Blaster's hand and laced their fingers together in an attempt to tether him in place. Blaster's gaze wandered Soundwave's frame. His optics seemed to trace every repair seam that criss-crossed his plating. "Primus, look at all your injuries. That pain thingie helpin' at all?"

"Somewhat." Soundwave realized that from the moment he walked through the door and saw Blaster he'd actually forgotten about the aching pain he was in. "Seeing you helped more than the device."

Their gazes met and Blaster warmly smiled. Soundwave's spark swelled and fluttered in his chest in response. It felt so amazing. The loneliness that seemed like it might consume him whole was long gone, replaced with a feeling of completeness.

Blaster glanced down at their linked hands, his optics becoming glassy once again. This was a happy moment, so why did Blaster still seem so sad? "Why are you crying?" Soundwave asked.

Shaking his head, Blaster squeezed Soundwave's hand. "I don't know." Blaster glanced up, his teary optics focusing on Soundwave. "This shouldn't be happenin'. We shouldn't be sittin' here holdin' hands, but... we are."

"But, that is a good thing. Is it not?" Soundwave asked, still not quite understanding.

Blaster's tears still flowed as he smiled. "It's a wonderful thing. An amazing, practically miracle thing." Blaster softly signed air from his intakes. "Hey, will you promise me somethin' else, though?"

"What is it?" Soundwave asked.

"Promise you won't go and kill Megatron, again."

Confused, Soundwave frowned a little. "He is already deceased."

"I know." Blaster half-smiled. "Just promise you won't do somethin' that crazy again without me."

Understanding what Blaster meant, Soundwave nodded as he squeezed his hand. "I promise." He then reached up with his free hand and wiped away some of the coolant on Blaster's cheek. "There is something important I would like to tell you."

A concerned look swept across Blaster's face. "You sound kinda serious. What is it?"

"Something I have never told anyone before." Soundwave straightened his posture. "I want you to know that _I__ love __you_."

Blaster's optics grew over-bright and he squeezed Soundwave's hand hard. "Soundwave-I…I love you, too."

They were just words, but their impact hit Soundwave like a cargo freighter. His spark pulsed like crazy in his chest and his body tingled all over. Blaster leaned in close and lightly touched their noses.

"This still doesn't feel real, but it does feel amazing," Blaster said with a grin, before tipping his head slightly and ghosting his lips against Soundwave's. "Say it again," Blaster whispered.

"I love you," Soundwave replied.

"I love _you_," Blaster said just before locking their lips in a gentle, soft-mouthed kiss.

The void inside Soundwave not only filled, but also overflowed with a love so intense he wasn't sure how his body was containing it. The brief kiss ended, and Blaster pulled back to stare deeply into his optics.

"I honestly wasn't expectin' that," Blaster said with a grin. All traces of his confusing sadness were now gone. "But you're nothin' like I expected from the start, so I suppose I shouldn't be all that surprised."

Soundwave leaned forward to press their helms together. After so much strife, he just wanted to pause time at this amazing moment. Freeze-frame and capture how happy Blaster now looked. Drink in the joy of not only being reunited, but also knowing he was loved in return.

"Here," Blaster scooted over on the berth, then patted the space behind him. "You should lay down."

Soundwave glanced at the space and frowned. "I have been in a horizontal position in medbay for several Earth weeks. It is somewhat unappealing at the moment."

"You haven't been layin' down with me next to you, though. Does that make it more 'appealing'?" Blaster lightly ran his finger along one of the repair seams on Soundwave's side. "Besides, you're still healin' up and now I can finally take care of you."

Soundwave then realized this was Blaster's way to show affection, so he nodded in agreement. With some assistance, he laid back on the berth. It was much more comfortable than one from medbay, and once Blaster carefully curled up beside him it became even cozier. Their plating lightly touched, causing warm, radiating sensations to spread across his sensory net. The pleasure of Blaster's touch blotted out the general haze of pain his body had been.

For the first time in a very, very long time, Soundwave truly relaxed. A small smile was plastered across his lips as he turned to gaze at Blaster. Blaster stared back with shimmering optics and a bright, genuine smile.

Soundwave was finally free to love Blaster and live his life how he wanted, instead of feeling like a bystander. No more Megatron to appease, no more Decepticons to shun him, no more lonely nights in his quarters. Now what lay in the road ahead of them was a future that no one could have predicted. A love that every medic and their own parents said wasn't possible for them. The way Soundwave saw it, why settle for less when the universe was willing to offer them both so much more? Everything in his life had one again changed, but this time it was on his terms. He was going to take it and run. Enjoy his new self, his new love, and his new unfolding life for everything it would have it offer.

* * *

_AN- No epilogue added to this chapter. I may come back and add one later. Honestly, it took a lot of energy to even write this chapter. I guess all the drama in it was somewhat draining to write. I could only do it in bits and pieces. ^^; I am offering a free 'mix-tape' of music that goes with this story called, "To: Soundwave Love, Blaster". If you'd like one mailed to you PM me a mailing address. ^o^ This offer stands through January 2012._


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